Saturday, September 7, 2019

New Twist Under The Microscope

If you have read this blog from the beginning, you deserve a medal of honor and I thank you. If you want to know how and why I began blogging, you can read for yourself the reasons in those early posts. 

I do love science. In fact, I met Jack in the science lab in high school. The mysteries of science are so darn interesting. One day, and perhaps soon, the cure for cancer will be discovered once and for all. In a round-about way, ttwd is a scientific breakthrough. After years of playing tug-of-war for control in our marriage, ttwd "scientifically" solved the leadership question, the sexual renewal atmosphere and the happiness quotient in a long marriage. How about that for science! A spanking after giving consent is scientific proof of what happens when behavior is stopped and a new atmosphere is established.  Who needs a laboratory when a Hoh has the side of the bed and a paddle! 

I thought of this blog analysis over the summer when my new interests took me in different directions.  My happiness quotient continued to soar. Our sexual renewal was an active part of our lives and the ability to lean in and follow was now the way we lived. The glitches were taken care of by a loving, attentive husband and my happiness and contentedness were constant in my life. I put all this squarely on ttwd and the way we viewed all of it. 

So I then began thinking about the things I have learned right here. The reasons I began blogging, the wonderful friends I have made, and going from nervous new blogger to guiding others into blogland. I thought about the people who are faithful to commenting, both the readers and bloggers. I thought about the people who email "behind the blog". Never in my wildest dreams did I ever consider that I would vacation with bloggers and ttwd friends, visit their homes and welcome them into mine. I learned that it is women of a certain age that search for the same things I do. Sexual renewal with the same guy I walked down the aisle with and the friction undercurrent felt in our marriage before ttwd were front and center. I wanted what I felt was gone. I wanted that just married chemistry. We did find it with Jack leading and me over the bed!

My blog began with a simple goal of finding other women just like me. We certainly could do ttwd without blogging. However, blogging put me in communication with other women.  My personal goal was to rekindle what Jack and I had as young married people, AND this is a big one, I wanted lasting, close friendships made right here in blogland. I wanted those friends to turn into real-life experiences and be lasting. A tall order to be sure! I began thinking that meeting and loving other women just like me was pie in the sky. Wishful thinking to be sure!

The first thing I did to make those goals become true was to encourage women interested in ttwd to write to me behind the blog. Guess what happened? Lots of readers did just that and I have the stories to prove it. 

Once a blogger told me that comments to a post are the lifeblood of a blogger. I have received wonderful, heartfelt comments and emails. Some were very bold, audacious. Some people writing forgot how very important good manners are as they demanded to know things that were not their concern. I will keep those names to myself. I thought I would share a few of the things that have happened. Readers wrote emails and that was wonderful except for the few who were demanding, rude and disrespectful.

     * One sweet reader is a Facebook friend, too and she posted on FB that her community experienced horrible flooding. The teachers in her flooded area needed help. I sent out the word to fellow bloggers and readers asking for donations for teachers needing school supplies. We raised money and we were glad we could help. 

    * There were many who wrote to me and then simply vanished. There were bloggers I introduced and then they left with a brief word to me or no word at all. Blogging requires fresh ideas. You need to have something to say. You need to develop trust in those who read your blog. Security is essential. 
    *  I worry to this day about the safety of one blogger and still do. She does not blog anymore, but I think about her safety. So I have kept her as a FB friend. I worry.

    *  I had lunch with a reader and her husband. She was bossy and demanding of what was to be ordered and I kept my eyes lowered as she instructed her husband what to order. She was the Hoh in every sense of the word and completely unaware of what she was doing. He was a nice man, but I had no problem telling who was in charge.

   *  Google plus scared me to death. It was a chat room of sorts. Men kept joining and I was spooked. Jack said to get out of Google plus or take the blog down. Good-bye, Google plus. Now we have bloggers advertising for doms, for heaven's sake! What a dangerous thing to do!

   *  With many emailing to me, I began a rule that I have used for a long time. After five email exchanges, the emailer needed to send a photo of herself and her husband or there is no more email. I sent a photo of Jack and me. He is dressed in his dress blue uniform. Only one emailer refused and threw a hissy fit before vanishing. We had exchanged way more than five emails. One needs to be cautionary when online and I was. One reader sent me her photo after we had exchanged emails, but refused to tell her first name. She left long ago. Finding doms online is the new trend. How very dangerous is that! Good grief! 

   *  You might have noticed that I have no blogroll. I did for a while, but my blog was hacked big time. The gamers on the other side of the world added their name/site to my blogroll. To do that, they had to be all the way into the blog. A real behind-the-blog-moment and I could not fix it. I simply took down the whole blogroll and continued once I had changed my password. 

   *  Just a couple of times I have used my blog as a platform for social and political incidents and situations that caused me to say something. I remember well Cat's words early on that my blog belongs to me. So I have used the blog a few times in that way and it was the right thing to do. Remaining silent is all about being complicit. 

   * I had been blogging a little over a year when all hell broke loose.  Two bloggers exposed Red Booty Woman who claimed to be a wife and mother of seven. She was neither. Blondie's blog served as our platform as all bloggers weighed in on the deceit and dishonesty of a blogger we had all trusted. 

   * Then a husband and wife team was exposed for the way in which they used blogland as a way to make money leaving many stunned. They cultivated sympathy for health problems. Not sure those health problems were even real. They sponsored meet-ups of ttwd couples around the world which required a big fee on your credit card for the access and meeting time. Once the credit card was given, the actual place of the meetup was shared. It was one of those times to stand way, way back. I think a lot of money changed hands and they made a tidy profit. Unsure of the fallout here as they simply disappeared and fast probably taking their money with them. 

   *  I speak on the phone with blogger friends often. We help and support one another and it always feels good. 

   *  I almost forgot. One reader told me that she thought I was a good writer. She asked if I would please teach her how to write so she could become a blogger too. Really!!


New Twist by the numbers:

The number of published posts: 518

The number of drafts:  79 (!)

Total page views: approaching 469,000+

The number of mentors at the beginning: 2

The number of bloggers launched: 11

The number of those bloggers still active: 5

The number of guest bloggers on this blog: 2

The number of Beach Sister vacations: 3

The number of ttwd couples visiting our home for extended 
stays: 5

Number of bloggers/readers who have become good friends: 7

The bloggers I would most like to meet: Stormy and Minelle and her Scotsman. I probably will never meet Stormy, but I will meet Minelle and her Scotsman one day! Ami, Jan and Ronnie are right there on my list too.

My blogging days are less frequent now as I have many other things going. Some of those interests are new and some are favorites. I am so pleased that I have achieved my goals here in blogland. 

So how about that pie in the sky? I do have that pie in the sky. She found my blog in 2015 and wrote to me behind the blog as Jack and I were leaving on a big adventure. I asked her to trust me. I would be away for almost three weeks, but when I returned, I would write. We have never looked back since. She is not a blogger as she is one very busy lady. We email one another often. Sometimes the emails are long and sometimes not. She and her husband practice ttwd the same way we do. How about that? We have been in one another homes and have vacationed together. 

So I am ending with some advice: If you are a reader of ttwd blogs, write to the blogger and get to know her. Exchange stories, ask questions and perhaps, you will develop a ttwd friendship that is so satisfying and true. Just saying...........

We do not do ttwd......... we are ttwd! When we began, I kept waiting for ttwd to start not realizing that such a big change would take time as we each grew into our roles. We have lived through an amazing marriage evolution for sure. 

And just so you know, spanking is happening here at our house and we are happy. Ttwd is front and center here and will remain so. 



  1. Hi Meredith,what a wonderful, lovely and heartfelt post! I so loved reading this :) you captured the benefits of ttwd and how truly amazing the blogging community is so well. When I started commenting then blogging I never dreamed I would make such wonderful friend's and receive such amazing support.


    1. Roz,
      Thank you as always for your kind words. I appreciate each and every time you comment.

  2. Wow! I think this one deserves an award Meredith. There is a lot of information here, a lot of data collecting, and a lot of your ttwd life in this post and I LOVED reading it. It’s amazing to me all that you’ve done over the years with this little blog, not just through posts but behind the scene as well. You’ve gone from blogland novice to coach to mentor and teacher, and now a blog wizard in my opinion, all the time being friend, or trying to be even though it didn’t always work out.
    I am beyond grateful to have found this little blog of yours, I am grateful that you answered that first email from me, and I am thrilled that we are friends. I can’t imagine life any other way. Thank you for all of it. XO

    1. Laurel,
      What a lovely response. Thank you for always being right here. I so appreciate it. It was your urging that created this post. Thank you,

  3. You have come a long way in blogging. Your willingness to reach out to others is an inspiration and I hope you keep blogging for a long time! Friendships even at a distance are heartfelt and it is obvious just how many people you have touched.

    1. Mignon,
      With so few here and commenting few as well, I am taken in a different direction. I will post but very sparingly. Thank you for always beig here.

  4. Meredith, if it weren't for you, I never would have had the courage to talk to my Sheriff. While I have different mentor now, I do miss our emails!

    But, my Sheriff is stepping into HOH is a slow and steady way. While it may not be the way I want it to be right now, I am certain he will continue to grow in his role and I may soon be regretting asking him to spank me.

    But oh the wonderful changes in our house, communication is clearer, intimacy is rampant, and I believe that we are both happier than we have ever been.

    So thank you my blogger friend. For being the gentle encouragement needed,

    Hugs and love

    1. Boo,
      Thank you for your kind words. Good luck on your ttwd journey.

  5. Meredith,
    It took 6 emails for you to ask for a photo exchange with me. As you may recall, that REALLY scared me. Thankfully, you were patient with me and gave me until email #13 to try again and I was ready then. Whew! A handful of emails between us after that, and you had me convinced that I wanted to blog. You're a pro for sure!

    I know Laurel is your pie in the sky and I do wonder how you've exchanged hundreds of emails without convincing HER to blog!!

    Congratulations on such a successful blog and for gaining the precious ttwd friendships that you so wanted. I feel blessed for being among them.

    But, most of all, I am happy that you and Jack found your second wind with learning to live a ttwd marriage in such a beautifully satisfying way.

    Love, Windy

    P.S. Keep reading......I've heard it really enhances one's writing. :) This is a top notch post.

    1. Windy,
      Even your comments have me laughing. Thank you for your love and support. The second wind has been wonderful indeed.

  6. Excellent post! Interesting that you came looking for women who shared your interest and I came not even believing other women did. I wasn't looking for friend as much as information. Finding friends was and amazing surprise and bonus. The boost to our marital closeness was just as much of a surprise. Blogging is an ever morphing entity - I'm not sure where it's going at the moment, but I still want to be a part of it.

    1. PK.
      Thank you for your kind words. You may not have entered blogland with friends in mind, but here we are. Thank you for leading the way.

  7. This was super interesting to read! I have always felt a bit awkward as an avid reader of blogs but not being a blogger myself (I do blog, but about a different topic).
    We are still a fairly slow moving ttwd couple but if not for your blog and others, we would not be a ttwd couple at all. We learn much from everyone. Most of all we have learned that the common theme seems to be communication.
    Thank you for continuing to blog and share and for accepting us non-bloggers as well. I bet there are plenty of people whose lives you've touched but you will never know because the confidentiality issue is a difficult one to get past.
    Best to you both :)

    1. Deena,
      I completely understand your point of view. I wish you the best on your ttwd journey.

  8. What an amazing feat, Mere, from new blogger to friend, mentor and helpmate to many women. You’ve surely got what you aimed for, as those statistics show. And I am among those stats, having been one of those guest bloggers dipping my toe in the water, before being launched a while later. I’m also happy to be among your friends and a fellow beach sister, not to mention a visitor to your home.
    I hope you will continue to blog, albeit not as frequently as before.
    Rosie xx

  9. Rosie,
    How sweet you are! Thank you for the lovely comment. I loved when you dipped your toe in the ttwd water with me. We loved you and Harry visiting in our home.

  10. loved reading about your journey thus far...a beautiful heartfelt post. Hugs

  11. I have been away from blogland for too long, and I know I am not fully well yet. Today I decided some visits were in order, and I am surely glad I did not miss this post!

    What a loving way to sum up the years, Mere. I enjoyed every word, every comment, and your responses. Thanks for the memories.

    Good night, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are....

  12. Meredith:

    Happy LOL days!! We miss you!!