Thursday, November 1, 2018

I Choose Marriage # 3





My good friend Windy has written her best post yet. She writes of her husband's notice of her change in demeanor after she was been reading the blogs. He says Windy is more submissive in her talk and her actions. That got me thinking. You can read her post here.

We are of a certain age when marriages go through transformations. 

Marriage #1
We know of another couple who are divorcing. We were told that they have decided to go their separate ways as it is "just easier". My heart ached as I listened. My friend said she wanted relief from the unloving situation they found themselves. She said they would each be fine money-wise. I thought to myself "but how are you going to do love-wise?". I felt really sad after learning their news. 

Marriage #2
 We socialize with a couple who never show one another any affection. They never hold hands. They are polite to one another, but not loving. Their marriage is a classic brother/sister relationship. I mentioned when we were together this past weekend that I loved to cuddle and watch our favorite drv's shows or start a new one on Netflix. My friend told me that they seldom watch TV together. She watches her shows and he watches his in completely different rooms. Really? They lead separate lives. 

Marriage #3
We know ttwd friends and when we spend time with them, it is wonderful. These marriages have gone through a beautiful transformation. Each couple shows loving respect and shows great care for one another. There is an undercurrent in the dynamic between these people. Jack and I know well about that undercurrent. The delicious undercurrent, that ttwd secret, is what leads to ttwd, lovemaking and all that means. It is so wonderful to see the love that is so evident. Yes, all of these couples are spanky folks and they are my friends. 

It was our sweet Nora Jean who wrote the comment on Windy's post  I so treasure. She wrote that her softness and femininity fed her husband's dominance. And that his dominance complimented her softness. Oh, my! That is so very true.   

I choose marriage #3 for sure. 

These ttwd marriages are solid and loving, long-term and fun to be with. As age comes, we turn to one another and our men to find exciting new ways to make our marriages even better. 

Meredith






19 comments:

  1. How lovely Meredith!

    Yes, we have all seen those marriages, and I am with you. I choose marriage #3. It is a slow difficult process at the beginning, but I can see the changes even since I first started talking to you about things. We have a long way to go to reach where I want to be, but with the Sherriff leading, I am sure he will get us there!

    Thanks for helping me start the process.
    Boo

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    1. Boossghost,
      I think of people like you and that is one reason I keep blogging.
      M

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  2. Hi Meredith!:) No fainting!! I'll pass you the smelling salts!;)

    I'm with you all the way on #3! No condo motto for us either. Well, you know all that.

    You know, as I think about your post, I think of the time, effort, compromise, efforts to step up with really listening to one another, increase touching and affection, improved communication and sharing ... It has taken all of these things, and more to get to the place that we are lucky to be in. Long ago, when my mother told me that it takes work to keep a marriage going, she was right. I'm pretty sure that she had no earthly idea of the direction that our loving marriage would take, when she said that! HA! But her words were right. All good and satisfying things take work. We are all doing that. The pay-off is the best!

    Loved the post. #3 for Me! Many hugs,

    ❤️Katie xoxo

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    1. Katie,
      You are right............ people in love and for a long time need to be creative and innovative in keeping the love alive, well and fun. Door # 3 all the way.
      M

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  3. Good morning, Meredith ... love this post ...

    We know one couple (related), who, sadly, we no longer enjoy spending time with ... her constant sniping at and putting down of her husband, and his acceptance of that, makes us both cringe. We haven't seen them in person since our ttwd journey began ... I think it would be worse for us now and I'm pretty sure it would be even more difficult for Frank to keep quiet and ignore.

    For ourselves, we used to think we had a good relationship ... even others commented on how close we still were after so many years together. However, we've come to realize, in these past 10 months, that we had work to do to go from good to great. I think we are getting there ... lines of communication are open wide ... our roles have become established in ttwd practice ... we enjoy each other physically like never before. Yes, marriage #3 is our choice as well ... nj ... xx

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    1. NJ,
      Loved your comment on Windy's blog. Good to great is the way to go. Keep blogging.
      M

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  4. Meredith,
    I can feel the love and depth in this post. Your message of how ttwd stirs the belly of marriage and that is carries with it a fresh seductive undercurrent could be the description of my title When the Storm Whispers to the Wind. We,too, choose Door #3 that makes us feel like newlyweds who cling to one another and climb one another! Hugs! Windy (And thanks for the compliment on my post, my friend. That NJ sure is a sweet and smart cookie who knows the ins and outs of ttwd, I agree!)

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    1. Windy,
      The just married feeling comes roaring back and the world is ours. Thanks for all your communication.
      M

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  5. There is no doubt in my mind or in that of my guy that we made the right choice by choosing Marriage #3. The rewards are indescribable. We talk about this often and are still in awe of what ttwd does for us.
    You’ve done a great job here of describing the direction that many of the marriages we know have taken. We are so, so grateful that we are not among them, but instead hold ourselves to something far richer and so very, very satisfying. :)
    An excellent read Meredith, thank you!

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    1. Laurel,
      Thank you for your kind words and I know well your door # 3 choice is the best.
      M

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  6. Sadly, Sam and I also know couples like #1 and #2. We don't really see much of several old friends because being in their presence is uncomfortable. It even hurts to see 2 of my siblings living the "hands off/ just friends" relationship. What a sad way to grow old together. Where is the passion? Where is the spark of love?

    Right now, life has given Sam and me a very difficult challenge to face. I truly believe that ttwd is the source of our strength and determination to weather this storm. We touch and laugh and are able to stand outside ourselves and look at what our partner really needs from us. Our closeness is a gift, for sure.

    When I read a post like this, it reinforces what I already know in my heart. That I need the companionship of fellow bloggers like I need air to breathe. There is no where else on earth where I am confident that I will be understood and accepted. Where I am free to be myself. At least about ttwd matters.

    Maybe the difference between these 3 types of relationships is that:

    #1 has slowly let the marriage die on its own.

    #2 has slowly picked apart the marriage until nothing is left.

    #3 has finally come to "live" their marriage. To breathe life into it each and every day.

    Great post,
    Ella

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    1. Ella,
      You are correct......... we are a strong group of bloggers who do support one another. If marriage is allowed to become stale, door #3 will never be yours.
      M

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  7. Good post. All marriages seem to go through phases - I know mine has and I see us in all of the above at one time or another. Thankfully, we always seem to come back to door #3.

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    1. Sunny,
      WE did not go through marital stages, but rather deployment stages. Ugh! I am so glad you and hubby chose door # 3.
      M

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  8. A friend of mine has been married and divorced three times. I hate to hear the way she speaks to her current partner and don’t know how he has put up with her for ten years.
    Harry and I have had our ups and downs over the years but are happily living behind door #3 now.
    Rosie xx

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    1. Rosie,
      You write from experience, I know. So do I in the form of deploymetns. We are firmly behind door # 3 just like you and Harry.
      M

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  9. When you get to a certain age, we all know these couples in one form or another? I am with you I choose #3.

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    1. Mignon,
      Glad you commented! I so agree with you.
      M

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