Two rough days here and one huge spanking! I could not sleep last night. I borrowed Nora Jean's illustration depicting my restless night. I knew I needed a way to share what happened. The longer I blog, the harder it is for me to do that. However, I feel a real responsibility to share what happens even though those real spanking times are more infrequent. They still do happen............ yesterday, in fact.
We had had words concerning a situation the day before. I had yelled and stormed out the door. It felt like old times and I calmed down before driving away. Once home, I immediately apologized and Jack told me that it had better not happen again.
We are doing many banking activities involving our bank accounts and investments. Important, but not a whole lot of fun. We were at the bank in one of those glassed-in, open offices. We were joined by not one, but two bankers. We learned that we would have to collapse all of our accounts and reopen them with new account numbers. I became really upset knowing that although Jack would help, the bulk of the work setting things up would fall to me. Readers, upon hearing that, I flipped out. I turned to Jack and yelled at him. I cannot remember exactly what I said, but I do remember the look on my poor husband's face. The two bankers tried blending into the woodwork and Jack firmly put his hand on my leg. I stepped way out of my submission and continued to talk way too loudly and disrespectfully. Jack told me that that was enough. I quieted and we told the two bankers that we would follow their advice another time. Quickly accepting their business cards, we walked back across the bank lobby and I was still agitated and upset. So was my husband!
We headed home not saying much. We had two more stops and at both places, Jack told me to stay in the car and get myself together. When he left the car, I did a lot of thinking. What had I done? Flipping out, yelling at my husband, rude and disrespect behavior in front of others! I thought that maybe this is a situation way too big for ttwd! What a crazy, wild thought!
Once home, I apologized several times for my obnoxious behavior. He said little and we had lunch. Then we went to our hot tub and I thought maybe this incident was way outside the realm of ttwd. We enjoyed the hot water and did a little talking about an upcoming road trip. I got out first and headed to our bedroom to dress. He was right behind me. He took me by the wrist and I was over that bed in no time. Damp and tender, my bottom was simply blistered to a bright red as he talked about the last two days and what had happened at the bank. He was determined to spank it all right out of me, but no implement was used. I was grateful and was very teary when he brought me up and held me. Still talking about his expectations, I listened and leaned in.
This morning I asked him why no implement was used. He pulled me close and told me he was too angry and upset to use his paddle. I nodded and leaned in more.
Things have calmed down. We have talked about the bankers' advice. I have leaned in and it is a smooth day here. When something like this happens, I think about it a lot. It does not happen often. I cannot remember the last time! This time I am grateful more than ever for ttwd. We have a framework for handling situations like the one that happened yesterday. When disrespect occurs, we have a way of getting things back on track. We communicate and love one another, but that ttwd is always there, as a big umbrella keeping us safe, loving and moving forward. We are sheltered by that umbrella communicating, listening and respecting one another. When I stumble, he is right there to set us straight.
So I had a really sore bottom yesterday, but I had, too, a husband who put us right back on track and who really did know just what to do. Ttwd is really always right there under that umbrella.