Thursday, April 12, 2018

How Leaning In Works

Funny,  how things work out! We are having a very windy day here while on vacation......... although we have plenty of blue sky and sunshine. This wind can alter how the day goes. So Jack is headed for a massage and I am here with you. The hiking we had planned will wait. The strong winds provide the perfect backdrop for my leaning-in story. What happened reflected the change in both of us like no other. 

At the end of a very long day of driving, when the jelly beans had lost their wonder and we really wanted a good place for dinner, Jack said that this long travel day was about two hours too long. He recognized that I was not myself, grouchy and frustrated. On this particular road trip, one day must be a really long one and this was  that day. 

Jack suggested I use my phone to search for a favorite restaurant chain in a town where we were headed. Hot dog! There was a restaurant to our liking. We knew what we would order and we were getting closer. So I used Siri to get us right to the restaurant. For the first time ever, Siri was most obstinate and the directions were not accurate. I was getting frustrated, hungry and upset. Jack said to call the restaurant. I did and asked the receptionist for directions. She gave us directions, but told us to go north when in fact, we needed to go south. We drive and drive realizing finally that we had the wrong information. Jack asks me to call again as Siri is still not helping. This time we get another person on the phone who says we needed to turn south. I lost it and became totally silent and upset. To turn around, we had to drive miles out of the way in the wrong direction. 

Then it happened. Jack's hand came firmly down on my now bare thigh and he started talking. I was not to shut down. I was to put the information back into Siri and I was to change my attitude. His hand was firmly on my leg. He said the drive was a long one and he was sorry about that, but we had a wonderful dinner awaiting us even though we had blown right through our reservation time. I could feel myself calming as I listened. He told me that he was doing the deciding, the driving and the talking here. I began to breathe calmly and realized the sweet sensation of not being in charge. I leaned right in and felt that strong sense of security.

When we approached the restaurant, there must have been 30 people outside. Jack took my hand and we excused ourselves around the people waiting. Jack was in full Hoh mode. He told the receptionist that we did not know it was their opening day. That explained the Siri problem maybe and the large number of people. He asked directions to the bar. Once there, he got us two seats, ordered beers and asked for menus.

We sat at the bar that night eating a delicious dinner, watching a baseball game not our own and enjoyed one another's company. My guy had taken matters into his own hands and his wife had leaned in big time. I could literally feel submission take over and our evening dinner was wonderful. 

After dinner, we had another 45 minutes to drive to our hotel, and Jack did both the talking and the driving. He complimented me on my leaning in. He recognized that exact moment in the car when I stopped fighting the situation and gave my submission to him. He said this ttwd works so well. In the olden days, my shutting down would have resulted in an argument, an awful fast food alternative and silence. Ttwd turns that all around and no backside was spanked until we were in the big hotel bed for a sweet gg. 

When it all works so well......... leaning in is the best!



  1. This is a perfect example of it all working very well! Way to go Meredith! I have been in that passenger seat when things didn’t go quite as we wanted them to and I agree...leaning in is the best option!
    I’m glad it all worked out and you didn’t let it ruin the evening. I love the last part...HoH’s talking Ttwd! Awesome!

  2. I just love reading this! I felt my own anxiety rising I was reading this - my heart was with you. So glad Jack took the reins and told you he was doing so, and you were wise enough to let him. Hugs to you and enjoy the rest of your trip!

  3. Good for you Mere,,,love Jack taking over.You both are so sweet.


  4. Hi Meredith,

    What a lovely story with a wonderful ending :) Long days in the car alone can cause frustration and grumpines, let alone the rest! So glad Jack read the signs, took charge and was able to calm you. Good on you leaning in.


  5. Glad it all turned out well and you leaned in at the right moment Meredith. Enjoy your holiday.
    Hugs Lindy xx

  6. This does sound like it worked perfectly. Even I know you're not happy when you're hungry. So glad it all worked out well.

  7. Travel Bitchies ... that's what I used to call them when we travelled ... I had a 5 hour limit. If we weren't stopped for the day by then I'm sure Frank thought my head spun around on my neck.
    You gave us wonderful example, Meredith, of how travelling ttwd should work. It will be interesting to see how it works for us when we do get back to those travel journeys of the future ... nj ... xx

  8. Oh, the relief of letting go! Jack knows you so well and handled the situation with aplomb. Glad the evening ended well - on your end for a sweet gg!
    Rosie xx

  9. Hi Meredith, nice that it all ended well. Hope the rest of your trip is super.
    love Jan, xx

  10. Hi Meredith! :) Good for you for pulling yourself together, calming down and leaning into Jack! Sounds like a single gesture from Jack, followed by some good listening and leaning in from you, ended up as a lovely night. Awesome!

    Enjoy the rest of your trip! Many hugs,

    ❤️Katie xoxo

  11. That is wonderful. A moment like that can make or break an entire evening or an entire day!

  12. So very relatable! I've spoiled plenty of date nights with a full shut down when things go wrong. Hangry is bad. Love how Jack handled and you responded!

  13. ah, sweet story :-) glad you leaned in and and glad Jack calmed you so you could both enjoy your night together Hugs