Monday, January 29, 2018

Thank you, English Rose! ....... Taking Stock At The Fifth Anniversary




We all know her as Jan and love her sweet posts and loving comments. Our English Rose has written a most poignant post taking stock of her ttwd life as she and her husband celebrate their fifth ttwd anniversary. I asked Jan's approval in using her five-year anniversary theme of then and now in her ttwd life. I found her post inspirational and thought-provoking. I told her I wanted to take stock of our ttwd life like she had of hers. She graciously said yes. Jack and I  are almost at the five-year marker too. Jan and I began blogging about the same time. We found one another and became ttwd friends just about five years ago.

Her format takes a "before and after" look at ttwd. What I love is the bubbling laughter I hear behind her words. She and her husband are having fun. We can hear her joy in her post. We, too, find great joy and laughter in ttwd. Let's get started. 

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Then..............

I used to think Jack would never really spank me. Yes, we would play and he would spank, but he would never really mean it. He would flinch or hesitate and not carry out his intentions. 

Now.......... 

No, a real honest-to-goodness spanking meant to change attitude, behavior and such does in fact happen. I am brought up a little stunned and rubbing my sore backside wondering how I could ever think my guy would hesitate. He loves the instant change that takes place and says never will we stop. 

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Then..............

I used to think that we would never get it right. In my mind, I constantly compared what we did to others in blogland. 

Now...............

We are very secure in how we do our ttwd. It is our way and it comes with lots of laughing, lots of loving and that renewed sense of being newlyweds. I do not compare what we do to anyone else. Ever! 

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Then............ 

I used to think about how we would get this right...... from afar, it sure seemed like others were going it "right".  Jack and I were not communicating on this ttwd subject like we needed to. 

Now..............

We communicate very well and listen to one another much more carefully. I told him what I needed and he responds with his needs as well. He loves his leadership role and loves my acceptance of my role. He knows I will stumble and we will need to reset. He is so gentle in his giving and helping and he likes my willingness to follow.......... most of the time. 

Communication is essential. He must know what I am thinking and I must know his thoughts. He sent me this sweet saying not long ago after we had had a big talk about our wants and needs. 




After so many years, it is really great to follow and give up trying to control. In this renovation time, I leaned way in and he made decisions that took the stress away. This leadership makes me feel loved, safe and protected. It is just that true. I crave his leadership.

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Then .....................

When I found the blogs, I believed every blog I read and to this day, I will never forget the morning we all learned the truth about Red Booty Woman. How many others were weaving a big fabricated tale? I did trust and perhaps trusted way too much. I was very careful and my mentor was a steady rock until she left blogland. 



Now.................... 

About a year into blogging, I decided early that writing personal stories were just way too private. I stopped making detailed descriptions about my spankings. Just way too public! I encouraged people to write "behind the blog". where I felt much more comfortable. Some have made fun of that expression, but I have the best behind-the-blog friends anyone could have. We are strong, loving friends and emails, phone calls, visits and vacations have been enjoyed. We do circle the wagons when we feel threatened by outsiders who want too much information or are rude in what they demand.

Out front on the blog, I do not like sharing the more personal moments of ttwd. So I don't. 

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Then.............

I used to want more.......... more dominance, more submission, more implements........... 

Now ............ 

I just wrote all that and have to laugh! Jack is a gentle, loving man who loves leading and he wants me to follow. We do not need more of anything.... This man brings me my coffee each morning, holds the door for me, tucks me in at night, makes the most delicious dinners and yes, does the laundry even though we still tangle. 

He is dominant in his gentle strength and tough when the situation requires. He loves his leather paddle which has remained in his sweater drawer for a while. He prefers to use his hand and, boy howdy, that can hurt! 

We do not do punishments ever. The new interruption stance is working as I follow several great suggestions. A slip-up is sure to come, but he appreciates my really trying. 

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Then......... 

I was so nervous about wanting to feel safe. Fearful of who might connect the dots to finding out that Meredith was really me was a central concern. When a blogger named EsMay rode a train to London to meet a fellow blogger and wrote about it on her blog,  I nearly had a heart attack. Bloggers really meet???????? 


Now..........

I have met many bloggers and readers and their husbands. We have vacationed together and visited one another's homes. So much fun! Lots of laughing and really good talks! 

The crossover into real life makes for real friendships way beyond the blog. I always say to myself....... I have lots of friends and then, I have ttwd friends. 

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Then........... 

There were two authors, world famous, who each write amazing ttwd books. PK and Sunny Girl were my favorites and I so wanted to meet them.

Now.............. 

I have met these two world famous authors and they are funny, sweet and daring. Think the bench time after a delicious dinner in a warm, sunny place. SG and her husband had dinner with Jack and me after a spring training baseball afternoon.

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That concludes my "then and now". Taking stock at the fifth year marker is eye-opening and really sweet. I have changed and this is one way to prove it for sure. 

Thank you, Jan. 

What is one "then and now" you might share with us concerning your own ttwd?



Meredith


30 comments:

  1. It always good to take stock of how far we have come...this was a wonderful way to celebrate the 5 year mark. Thanks for sharing...hugs abby

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  2. Thought provoking post! Great introspection.
    --Baker

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  3. Beautiful, Meredith. The security you have found puts you in a sure place of peace.
    SSB

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  4. This is a lovely post. I loved reading about how things have developed and grown over the last five years for you and Jack. It’s all so positive and just as it should be.

    When I think about all of this what comes to mind for me is:
    Then - I used to worry that ttwd would stop, end, or just peter out at some point, leaving me yearning once more for this life or something like it.
    Now - There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that this wonderful life we lead is here to stay, thanks to my amazing guy.

    Thank you for taking stock Meredith!

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    1. Laurel,
      I love to take stock. No stopping here either. Thanks!
      M

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  5. I love the then and now series because it's such a great reminder of how times change. For those of us who have been there, we can relate. For those of us who aren't there yet, we have hope. For those of us who cannot relate, we can just enjoy the stories of someone else's progress. Nice one.
    Amy

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  6. I really enjoyed reading your then and now post Meredith. Its amazing how far you have come in your TTWD journey and your bond with Jack has grown stronger along the way.
    Hugs Lindy xx

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  7. Hi Meredith, I loved Jan's post. Thank you for sharing your "then and now". I enjoyed reading this, it's wonderful to reflect back and see how far we have come.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Roz,
      I do think taking stock is very important.
      Thank you,
      M

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  8. Hi my Merry friend! What a lovely post you have written. I will admit to large amounts of envy that you have met our famous author friends and I haven't. Apart from that I think we share lots of similar feelings towards ttwd.
    love Jan, xx

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    1. Jan,
      I just followed your lovely lead. We do share a lot.
      M

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  9. How times change! Thank you for sharing your ttwd path, Mere.
    My biggest change is
    Then, “This will only ever be for fun, don’t expect me to spank you for real.”
    Now, “Upstairs, you need a reset.”
    Rosie xx

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    1. Rosie,
      Once our men see what happens, ttwd will continue for sure.
      Thanks,
      M

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  10. Hi Meredith, :) I love Love LOVED Jan’s anniversary post! Fun that you had a go at it! It’s always amazing what one can learn about the experience and all the changes over time, when sitting down and really thinking about it all. My “This Whole Thing” post, one of my favs, ended up being a good look at all of that for us, some years ago. “Then/Now” is a cool way of writing about where you are now. Enjoyed reading yours.

    I always find it interesting how couples refer to those spankings that stop a behavior unwanted. We don’t really say “punishments” either. We have all that fun spanky business, and every now and then, there are “those” spankings. Fun spankings are so much more... fun! LOL!

    Then: “Kate, it’s in a box, on the left, in the storage room.”
    Now: “Kate, it in a box, on the left, in the spanking room.”
    Sheesh! Just laughed about that yesterday. Rob had better be careful when someone is around. LOL! Many hugs,

    ❤️Katie

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    1. Katie,
      No spanking room here, as every room seems to be the place where ttwd happens. Thanks,
      M

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  11. First, many thanks to Jan for her inspiration. Her then and now approach was clever and honest. It also made a perfect frame for a ttwd love story.

    Mere, I used to think we would run out of things to write, but it seems that will never happen. When you write like this, I smile and feel the love between you and Jack.

    The most enlightening "Now" response is the one about each of you knowing what the other one is thinking. It is remarkable to me, that ttwd can change us all so much. Not only do we try to listen, but we try to know his mind. To please him in ways that even surprise him. In just a few words you have explained this so well. Loved Jack's message to you as well.

    Simply a beautiful post, my friend,
    Ella

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    1. Ella,
      Ttwd brings a couple very close and very fast for sure. Thank you for your sincere compliments.
      M

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  12. Being in the "then" phase - still - make me realize that our journey, thought different from yours, is also the same. It's about the journey, not about the destination. Thank you thank you thank you.

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    1. Deena,
      I often write for you, Deena. It is about the journey. You are right!
      M

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  13. Mere I am happy to be one of those behind the blog friends. My before and after has been helped along by your sage advice and good example. Thank you for being the wonderful blogger you are, but more importantly thank you for being a TTWD friend.
    M

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    1. Journey,
      I love our time behind the blog. Thank you for your kind words.
      M

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  14. I enjoyed this post Mere. It’s nice to take stock for ourselves but also share the information here. Some of what you said rang true for me. My guy is also a gentle guy.... who does laundry and makes coffee... etc. However, he will spank!

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  15. Congrats on your near 5yr anniversary! While I am (very) behind the scenes for the last almost 2 years you still inspire me. I loved this introspection and it makes my heart swell to see how you have traversed all this and made it your own. xoxo

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    Replies
    1. Maggie,
      Great to hear from you! Email me and let's talk and try to catch up.
      M

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  16. I am most definitely late to the party here. World famous? I was going to laugh, but I guess if you could all our blogging friends I guess you're right - perhaps only one or two in several countries, but still that's special. I do thank you for the thought. I'm very glad TTWD has worked out so very well for you!

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