Thank you, English Rose! ....... Taking Stock At The Fifth Anniversary

We all know her as Jan and love her sweet posts and loving comments. Our English Rose has written a most poignant post taking stock of her ttwd life as she and her husband celebrate their fifth ttwd anniversary. I asked Jan's approval in using her five-year anniversary theme of then and now in her ttwd life. I found her post inspirational and thought-provoking. I told her I wanted to take stock of our ttwd life like she had of hers. She graciously said yes. Jack and I  are almost at the five-year marker too. Jan and I began blogging about the same time. We found one another and became ttwd friends just about five years ago.

Her format takes a "before and after" look at ttwd. What I love is the bubbling laughter I hear behind her words. She and her husband are having fun. We can hear her joy in her post. We, too, find great joy and laughter in ttwd. Let's get started. 

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Then..............

I used to think Jack would never really spank me. Yes, we would play and he would spank, but he would never really mean it. He would flinch or hesitate and not carry out his intentions. 

Now.......... 

No, a real honest-to-goodness spanking meant to change attitude, behavior and such does in fact happen. I am brought up a little stunned and rubbing my sore backside wondering how I could ever think my guy would hesitate. He loves the instant change that takes place and says never will we stop. 

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Then..............

I used to think that we would never get it right. In my mind, I constantly compared what we did to others in blogland. 

Now...............

We are very secure in how we do our ttwd. It is our way and it comes with lots of laughing, lots of loving and that renewed sense of being newlyweds. I do not compare what we do to anyone else. Ever! 

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Then............ 

I used to think about how we would get this right...... from afar, it sure seemed like others were going it "right".  Jack and I were not communicating on this ttwd subject like we needed to. 

Now..............

We communicate very well and listen to one another much more carefully. I told him what I needed and he responds with his needs as well. He loves his leadership role and loves my acceptance of my role. He knows I will stumble and we will need to reset. He is so gentle in his giving and helping and he likes my willingness to follow.......... most of the time. 

Communication is essential. He must know what I am thinking and I must know his thoughts. He sent me this sweet saying not long ago after we had had a big talk about our wants and needs. 

After so many years, it is really great to follow and give up trying to control. In this renovation time, I leaned way in and he made decisions that took the stress away. This leadership makes me feel loved, safe and protected. It is just that true. I crave his leadership.

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Then .....................

When I found the blogs, I believed every blog I read and to this day, I will never forget the morning we all learned the truth about Red Booty Woman. How many others were weaving a big fabricated tale? I did trust and perhaps trusted way too much. I was very careful and my mentor was a steady rock until she left blogland. 



Now.................... 

About a year into blogging, I decided early that writing personal stories were just way too private. I stopped making detailed descriptions about my spankings. Just way too public! I encouraged people to write "behind the blog". where I felt much more comfortable. Some have made fun of that expression, but I have the best behind-the-blog friends anyone could have. We are strong, loving friends and emails, phone calls, visits and vacations have been enjoyed. We do circle the wagons when we feel threatened by outsiders who want too much information or are rude in what they demand.

Out front on the blog, I do not like sharing the more personal moments of ttwd. So I don't. 

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Then.............

I used to want more.......... more dominance, more submission, more implements........... 

Now ............ 

I just wrote all that and have to laugh! Jack is a gentle, loving man who loves leading and he wants me to follow. We do not need more of anything.... This man brings me my coffee each morning, holds the door for me, tucks me in at night, makes the most delicious dinners and yes, does the laundry even though we still tangle. 

He is dominant in his gentle strength and tough when the situation requires. He loves his leather paddle which has remained in his sweater drawer for a while. He prefers to use his hand and, boy howdy, that can hurt! 

We do not do punishments ever. The new interruption stance is working as I follow several great suggestions. A slip-up is sure to come, but he appreciates my really trying. 

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Then......... 

I was so nervous about wanting to feel safe. Fearful of who might connect the dots to finding out that Meredith was really me was a central concern. When a blogger named EsMay rode a train to London to meet a fellow blogger and wrote about it on her blog,  I nearly had a heart attack. Bloggers really meet???????? 


Now..........

I have met many bloggers and readers and their husbands. We have vacationed together and visited one another's homes. So much fun! Lots of laughing and really good talks! 

The crossover into real life makes for real friendships way beyond the blog. I always say to myself....... I have lots of friends and then, I have ttwd friends. 

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Then........... 

There were two authors, world famous, who each write amazing ttwd books. PK and Sunny Girl were my favorites and I so wanted to meet them.

Now.............. 

I have met these two world famous authors and they are funny, sweet and daring. Think the bench time after a delicious dinner in a warm, sunny place. SG and her husband had dinner with Jack and me after a spring training baseball afternoon.

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That concludes my "then and now". Taking stock at the fifth year marker is eye-opening and really sweet. I have changed and this is one way to prove it for sure. 

Thank you, Jan. 

What is one "then and now" you might share with us concerning your own ttwd?



Meredith

Remember Why You Started

That little motto is very useful right now. I am remembering why we started. We are almost to the fifth year anniversary of our ttwd life. On this particular anniversary year, I am very thankful we are in the place where we are. I value very much the roles we have established. This ttwd works so well for us and is so appreciated in times of stress. 

We have many balls in the air right now.  Let me fill you in. We just returned from a sun break. Yes, it was warmer where we were, but it was nonetheless January. We had sun, but with a whole lot of clouds! Frustrating! We returned to a big home renovation project that began one day after returning. My neat and tidy home has been turned on its ear. We learned of family and friends who are ill and family is moving and that requires Jack's assistance. He leaves for five days and I must handle the renovation project myself. Homebound and thinking this whole thing through is causing some moments of frustration between Jack and me. Ugh! The renovation requires constant little decisions and I need Jack here. 

We have had some big discussions ...... over the bed as Jack says that his ttwd message really gets through best when he spanks. Plus he says I am having great difficulty not interrupting. Last night in bed, we talked again. Back went those covers and he spanked and lectured. So as of today, he has decided to spank for interrupting. I said that sounds like punishment and we do not do that. He said he will spank to get my attention and focus on being more respectful and listening more carefully. So this should be interesting! 

I began this post with the intent of sharing how very happy I was that we were in this fifth year of ttwd. And I am. I rely on Jack's leadership when I feel all this pressure. I rely on his decision making. I feel safe and secure knowing he will make those decisions in our best interest. There is just too much going on right now. Right in the middle of all this construction, he is flying away to help family move. I am left with the renovation. Little decisions seem to need attention every day. 

So I am taking a deep breath here and while the juggling continues, I am grateful for ttwd like never before. The good news is that while Jack is away, I won't be interrupting him in person. The phone calls will be a different story. 

So as we remember why we started, I am leaning hard into Jack's leadership and trust. He has faith in me supervising the renovation while he is away. He is very serious about my stopping the interrupting. Things will settle down and I will keep you posted on all of it. Jack loves leading and is quite happy reminding me of that very thing as he puts me over the bed. 

Any advice you share about the interrupting concern will be greatly appreciated. How do you solve this problem? 

Meredith

Craving Is The Right Word

Do you know what really makes you happy? Do you know what really makes you thrive and come alive? For me, it is satifying the craving of Jack's loving dominance, his leading, and my leaning in. 

Long ago I remember thinking and wondering if this was all there was ............ I had a loving husband, a loving family. We were  doing well. We had handled big things like military deployments. We were good savers and investors. We had plans to see the world, but I was lost wondering if this was all there was. I was not content even though I should be happy. I was doing the leading for sure. I was searching for something more.  I wanted something more and really had no idea what that something more was. I remember thinking just where were the fireworks and the sense of wonder. Where could we recapture that just married-falling-in-love feeling all over again? What could I do? What did we need to do? This always sounded like a privileged sort of problem, but it was, nonetheless, my problem to solve if I wanted happiness. 

I believe strongly that happiness is in the doing, not the having. So what did I have to do to find the fireworks, the spark, the joy that I was searching for? If you have read the blog, you know that we found happiness right here between us with just a little bit of research about ttwd. 

I acknowledged the real and honest need I had to feel my husband's dominance, not in a harsh, mean way, but in his loving leadership guiding us. Jack needed to get comfortable leading and I needed to learn to step back and lean in. 

A little peek into our ttwd life: This morning we showered together. We love doing this and when time is on our side, we enjoy the fun. So I am drying off and telling Jack about something concerning our day. He interrupts saying that it was a little dangerous talking like that standing all bare naked from the shower. I was most spankable. I toned it down and walked right into the closet to get my robe. Jack followed and I said that I was still damp. Jack said that makes no difference to him. Before I put on my robe, Jack spanked reminding me that my words did matter. He pulled me close saying that the day would be perfect now as he had his wife freshly spanked. There was peace in his world. I smiled as I rubbed my backside and we went on with our day. 

So from the glimpse, you need to know that I crave that. I thrive on times like that little bathroom/closet exchange. It makes me happy, grounded and at peace. I feel his dominance and his arms around me. I have found those fireworks and they were right between us all this time. Jack agrees with all of this and enjoys the way it works so well. 

When we are adrift or fighting colds or traveling, the craving is right there, but our attention is focused on other things. We work it out and are right back to one another. Jack fell in love with spanking because he saw right away what happened. My attitude and the color of my bottom both changed and Jack took notice. I feel great contentment and intimacy in what we have made together. 

Do you crave your husband's dominance? Do his dominance and your leaning in make the fireworks in your world like they make the fireworks in ours?

Meredith 

Almost Everything We Own!

Hope you are all well and staying warm as we head into deep winter. I am not a fan of winter. The darkness, the cold makes me weary. I am looking for signs of spring. Our Christmas was heaven as our family was here for all the fun. Our house was noisy, messy and wonderful. 

I titled this post intentionally. Every single January of my adult life, I do a lot of editing. I have a funny motto come the first month of the year ....... touch everything we own and decide if the object is worthy of taking up space in our lives. Sounds crazy, right? I edit what we own: my clothes, all cupboards, all closets, books, financial files, the things inside the refrigerator and the list goes on. It takes the full month going room by room until all has been sorted and organized. I like things lean and organized. Things must be useful or beautiful. It makes me happy.


Jack usually watches all this from the sidelines. I am instructed not to even think about touching Jack's clothes or anything related to his golf.  

This editing creates great peace and a few arguments. So maybe you can tell just where this is going.........! We have been a ttwd couple for almost five years. Jack knows how to handle situations and, at the same time, handles me in those situations. Spankings happen, and once in a while an implement is used. Jack prefers his leather paddle. I do not agree. We have other implements in his sweater drawer. These other implements have not been used in a few years or more. So I thought just letting them go might be a really good idea. I wisely thought that asking Jack about those unused implements just might be best. Thank God! When I asked if we could just toss them, he said there is only one way he would do that......... each implement would be used to determine its merit. I ever so quickly backed away from all thoughts of any implement editing. Leave alone Jack's clothes, his golf paraphernalia and the implements. Got it!  

We would never ever edit ttwd from our marriage. We know our marriage has been revitalized. Today, as we returned from errands, I told him that he totally surprised me in what we did and where we went on our errand outing.  He turned to me and said, "I love keeping you on your toes and I love putting you over the bed. I love you the most when you are freshly spanked and in my arms." 

Meredith