Thursday, November 30, 2017

It Is All About Communication





Living in a Ttwd marriage is something I treasure. Sometimes it is just not always easy.  Our marriage took a wonderful, loving turn when we both said yes to Ttwd. We work hard keeping our love, marriage and roles true to Ttwd. It takes lots of work and communication. I can see the nodding of heads in agreement. 

We are handling a great deal concerning extended family and the coming holidays. Think countless texts, emails, phone calls, coffee chats and more. We have been somewhat bombarded. We were handling it all, but not really taking care of one another. We worked side by side and finally, things seemed to settle down. Instead of turning toward one another, we found ourselves distancing in a way we have not experienced in a long time. I knew we needed to communicate and Jack knew it too. Still, we did not turn to one another. What's going on? Side by side, we seemed to be ignoring one another. Ugh!

Finally, Jack brought me to my sitting spot and we began talking. He told me he wasn't going to let this situation go much longer. Yes, there were tears, and touching and getting it back together. It was a rough 48 hours or so. We both did not like it. When the talk was over and the tears were dried, we went to our bedroom and enjoyed one another and even managed a wonderful good girl. 

I experienced 48 hours of our old ways and I did not like it one bit. The distancing and not turning toward one another just plain stinks. Ttwd takes lots of work and telling it like it really is needs to be told. Yes, there are sexual fireworks and peace. The work required to get to that point is hard. It is never about the spanking. It is about the communication and the roles we have accepted. 

Your thoughts?

Meredith

34 comments:

  1. You described this time so well, Mere. Things have been too busy here, too, and without the daily attention to "us" things slide into that feeling that something is not quite right.

    There was a situation several weeks ago that I thought deserved a post, but reading your story here this morning, I know I must get something on paper.

    This is not a happy or funny post, but the honesty shines through in every word. I do think that blogging makes us reflect on how our ttwd relationship is at any given moment. It is so worth the effort.

    Ella

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ella,
      No truer words have ever been written. It was not a happy two days and the world spun around us. However, knowing you are there is so important to me. Email coming soon!
      Meredith

      Delete
  2. It is so important to trust one another and turn towards one another even in difficult times. You spoke the importance of communication in such a nice way. I am glad you got through the bumped and talked finding yourselves working close together once again. Hugs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Terps,
      It all boils down to sincere trust. Always! Thank you for your comment!
      M

      Delete
  3. Glad you shared this post with us. We often forget how much work it takes when things are going smoothly and how easily it can be taken for granted until a rough patch hits. Thank you for sharing.
    --Baker

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Baker,
      Ttwd couples need lots of energy, for sure.
      Thanks,
      M

      Delete
  4. Hi Meredith, Everybody has a rough patch now and again, glad that you and jack realised what was happening and could pull together,
    love Jan, xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jan,
      We sure do know how to pull it together. Thanks!
      M

      Delete
  5. Love the way you describe ttwd as hard work but the end results are wonderful. It is extremely hard and I think we all forget to turn to each other at times. Happy you and Jack could find your way back.
    Hugs Lindy xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lindy,
      How kind of you to comment when you are in the midst of a health scare. Thank you!
      M

      Delete
  6. I think that this is one of the main reasons I dislike the holiday season. Too much of "life" gets into the way that we tend to lose ourselves and fall into old patterns (that I can't stand). This year, I have become somewhat clingy, not wanting to lose "us" and believe me that is not healthy either. I just really need that ttwd connection to help me through the holidays. I am so glad that you two were able to make commitment again. Your story really touched me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blondie,
      I am right with you..... this outside world coming into our peace makes for problems. The ttwd connection is something I need as well. Thank you!
      M

      Delete
  7. Good post, Meredith. I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving with some of your wonderful baking!

    Yes, it is communication, and it is work. And it is commitment and perseverance. And above all...love. Well...love is really all those things: commitment, communication, hard work, perseverance.

    I knew I couldn't say it better myself!!

    Love Always,
    SSB

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SS B,
      So agree with you......... what you said was accurate and right on. The outside world gets in our way!
      M

      Delete
  8. Hi Meredith,
    The best evidence of how important communication is seems to be when there are misunderstandings. Eric and I just went through a 12 hour absolute nightmare full of tears and distrust only to find out later, we had each been talking about two different things! Oh did I get spanked for that one!!
    Amy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amy,
      Sounds like a future post forming! We always talk it out and then sometimes a spanking follows.
      M

      Delete
  9. I so agree, Mere...TTWD takes a lot of hard work and communication...so happy you two were able to pull back together...48 hours is long enough!

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cat,
      The 48 hours seemed an eternity. However we got it back together. Thanks for your comment.
      M

      Delete
  10. Mere,
    This post gets to the heart of TTWD. You feel it when your togetherness is off and its just awful. So happy you both took notice and clipped it before it morphed into something bigger. Enjoy are all your hard work and planning :)!
    Mignon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mignon,
      We know to act quickly when this happens.
      M

      Delete
  11. As always it sounds like you know what you're doing. Yes there will be lapses but you know how to get it back. That's the key!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PK,
      We do know what we are going, but sometimes things get muddled.
      Thanks,
      M

      Delete
  12. Always happy to hear you two have found your way back to love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SG,
      We did know how to find our way back.
      Thanks,
      M

      Delete
  13. Hi Meredith, :) I'm so happy to hear that you and Jack recognized what was happening, and swiftly made your way back to each other.

    Communication is the biggest factor with ttwd, for sure! I've always thought of spanking as just a tool, and a very good one at that. In addition to communication, is something that is key, I think. That is vigilance! Not only do we need to pay attention to each other, but we also need to work every day to recognize when something- (whether it is the business of life, or a disagreement, or any number of other things) begins to pull us apart from one another. If we can do all of those things, I think that they will help us all to stay on track.

    Ttwd is so very special. It is work to keep it there. It's worth every bit of it! Great post, my friend! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Katie,
      Your comment shows great love and wisdom.
      Thanks,
      M

      Delete
  14. ‘Anything worth having is worth working for.’ You’ve shown it here very well. Our ttwd lives require attention for them to work well and be satisfying to both of us. It can be a hard job sometimes but the payoff is huge and you know that very well. I’m glad to hear you’ve found each other again, it was only a matter of time. Jack never lets things go too long, and that’s a very good thing. A great post Meredith. XO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laurel,
      Such a great quote to live by. Jack did say he would only let things get so far. Thank you!
      M

      Delete
  15. This time of year can be full of pitfalls, with lots to do and conflicting priorities. The two of you chose a great way to reconnect. Great post, Mere.
    Rosie xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rosie,
      Reconnection was sure to happen and it sure did.
      Thanks,
      M

      Delete
  16. You are the person who has stressed this part of TTWD to me over and over and because of you our relationship is so much closer. But it is difficult, for sure. I am so glad you found your way back but not at all surprised. You two are so very special, and though we have never met what leaps out to me is that you are meant for one another. Hugs to you both for continuing to connect, especially during stressful times like holidays!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Deena,
    I look for your comment each time I post. They mean a great deal to me. It is one of the reasons I keep posting.... because of readers like you. Thank you for your sincere comment.
    Meredith

    ReplyDelete
  18. It's so hard to reconnect when the outside world keeps pulling us both different ways. Especially when the things demanding our attention aren't bad, they're just coming a bit too fast all at once. It is nice to be reminded of why we do this and why the old ways aren't how we want things to be.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Madeline,
    If we could just keep that outside world out, it would be heaven! Thank you for your comment.
    M

    ReplyDelete