Sunday, October 8, 2017

Keeping The Love And Intimacy






I am a "high brow" reader along with being a blog reader, but this author, F. Scott Fitzgerald, was never a favorite of mine. However, I do love this quote and have had it in my quote collection for a long time. I kept that collection using pen, paper and an actual notebook until I transferred the whole collection to my laptop files. 

This quote is really important. How do you keep the intimacy alive? I know nine ttwd women and five of the husbands. All have been married a long time. So how is the intimacy kept alive? The women of ttwd who connect with this blog all do the very same thing........... spanking! That little activity results in a rekindling of intimacy that recall the early days of marriage all these years later.

Over four years ago, I was grabbing at straws wondering how in the world we were going to do early retirement when we had lived our last working years more like brother and sister........ loving one another, but where was the intimacy? I did not want the control, but really had no idea how to solve this. A mundane marriage was not what I wanted and neither did Jack. I was headed into depression and I googled "spanking" just like all of you once did. 

I presented ttwd and my husband wasted no time saying yes. If it were possible to look down on your marriage from afar, evaluating the happiness, the intimacy, the love-making as the years continue to add up, what would you see? Jack and I see a completely different marriage, rekindled intimacy and roles that support our strong marriage. We learned new things and new ways of connecting with one another. We tried on those new roles of his leadership and my submission. Sometimes it was not easy. You can go back through this blog and read about it, but now we reap the benefits of how well it works. 

I want to share what I know now over four years in. I crave his dominance. I love leaning in and relish the feeling I am cherished and protected. I do not have the control and am involved in all the big decisions always. Quite simply, he spoils me and I look for ways to spoil him. I love the raised eyebrows, being pulled close so he can whisper in a hoarse voice what he wants, being told a spanking is coming, the playfulness and the laughter. His words can correct the situation in a heartbeat when intimacy and privacy are not ours. This Hoh of mine single-handedly keeps our passion alive and well, with his words, passion and yes, spanking. I love when he tells me how things will be and if understanding is not forthcoming, the next talk is over the bed. The power of his words calm me and his touch, as he pulls me close, soothes my emotions. His quiet leadership and his acceptance of my submission make us stronger. He insists on playing our life forward and my leaning into his leadership. In return, he treats me with love and respect. I can see his quiet dominance, the way he walks taller and the way he smiles at me knowing that he has taken care of things. It is hot and sexy. I can feel our marriage thriving in that very moment. 

All of this is just so intimate. I am thriving, happy and madly in love with this guy I have known since I was 17. I am forever grateful that Jack said yes and even though it is not always easy, ttwd is here to stay. 



Meredith
Special thanks to my dear friend. 








37 comments:

  1. This is truly a lovely post, Mere. Perhaps we have all read or even said most of the points you have woven here in this piece, but it is the perspective that makes it quite special.

    Like standing on the peak of a mountain and looking down will let you see the magnificence of nature, looking back on 4 years of ttwd, gives you such a bigger picture of the ways you both have changed and grown in your love. You can appreciate the landscape of the marriage you reinvented and smile.

    Ella

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    1. Ella,
      Thank you for your kind, generous words. We do appreciate the landscape of our marriage.
      M

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  2. I absolutely love this Meredith! You have captured just how it is for me as well. I find it almost intoxicating at times watching my guy lead, so sure, so confident, it’s really pretty amazing, and it has the most wonderful effect on both of us. I would say that we are very, very fortunate.
    I love both your quote and your secrets, thanks for writing this one, you’ve got me thinking again! xo

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    1. Laurel,
      Yes, our ttwd is very intoxicating at the special times and we do enjoy the wonderful effects of it all. Thank you for the inspiration.
      M

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  3. Meredith:
    I have been reading you for years and have always enjoyed your insight and commentary; but this post is in my humble opinion, your best ever. Congratulations to you and Jack.

    Rick

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    1. Rick,
      Oh, my! What a sincere, lovely compliment. Thank you very much.
      M

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  4. This is very true, but since we don't have a true DD relationship, it has still wandered into that roommate relationship at time. I've learned to be happy with what I have. Nick is a great husband and when the times are more distant, he's a great roommate too.

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    1. PK,
      Roommate, lover, Hoh, best friend....... these men of ours are always there with us! I am glad you are happy with your guy. He sounds great to me.
      M

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  5. So beautifully stated, Mere and brings back some lovely memories for me. Thank you so much for sharing.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

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    1. Cat,
      I love when you write so lovingly of your guy. Thank you for always being here.
      M

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  6. A truly beautiful testament to how long relationships can thrive if two people are willing to keep trying, keep moving towards each other. Your happiness shines through your writing. Thank you for sharing.

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    1. Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate your thoughts.
      M

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  7. Beautiful words. My husband and I are working towards this. I have confidence it will happen, just need to keep going.Outside family dynamics and consistency rear there ugly head too often. So happy for you. I want this for our relationship. Just slow going.

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    1. Thank you for commenting. The wolf at our door, your outside family dynamics, can cause problems and I try to face forward always as Jack is right behind me.
      M

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    2. Thanks for the response. It is nice to know someone hears me.

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    3. Dear Anon,
      I am always here and encourage you to write directly to me anytime. Great friendships have happened. Email me........................ meredith7006@gmail.com

      I look forward to your email?
      Meredith

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  8. I couldn't have said this better, Meredith. Strong leadership is hot and sexy. It makes me feel safe. The fireworks are more than I could've imagined at this time in our lives.
    SSB

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    1. SS B,
      Good to know things are fine with the two of you. Hooray for the fireworks!
      M

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  9. You described this all so well. There is something about this type of marriage that keeps it strong and healthy. Though spanking can add a little intimacy too to a marriage. I love reading your blog because I admire your marriage and the insights you share. And I truly believe that DD is what saved our marriage and made it so strong.

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    1. Blondie,
      Ttwd is the glue that makes these long marriages light up. Glad things are great for you.
      M

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  10. So well shared Meredith. You and Jack have worked hard to achieve your goals and find a place of mutual comfort and love. This is priceless. I will email you with an update soon.

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    1. Annabelle,
      I have waited until you are ready to write. Standing back seemed like a good thing. Please let me hear from you if you are ready.
      M

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  11. Hi Meredith, this is such a lovely post, you capture the intimacy ttwd brings so well.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Roz,
      You are so right. Capturing the intimacy is a good thing.
      M

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  12. Loved reading this post, Meredith!:) One of the things that I really enjoyed about this post, was how you described the loving feelings that you have for Jack, as he leads through all kinds of situations- from playful to more serious,"peace in the valley" kinds of times. That says a lot about how well what you both have learned, and now do, has enhanced your marriage. There is no doubt in my mind that we have been privvy to something that takes the ordinary marriage/relationship from great to fabulous. It is something truly wonderful, in all kinds of times.

    I too have used that f scott fitzgerald quote, in a past post- though I cannot remember where or when. It is so fitting, and completely describes the direction that this kind of lifestyle can take us. Love that quote! May we all never recover, from that special intimacy. Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

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    1. Katie,
      As we have shared many times, we are so fortunate to have these loving "fellas".
      The quote I felt sounded so familiar when I used it and I do now remember it was used by YOU.
      Thank you for your generous words.
      M

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  13. This was just beautiful Meredith. You managed to capture exactly why we choose this thing we do.

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    1. Dana,
      Thank you for commenting. I really do not recall your stopping by recently. I feel so strongly about about ttwd.
      M

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  14. Hi Meredith, what a lovely post from a lovely lady :)
    love Jan, xx

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    1. Jan,
      How sweet of you! Thank you for your kind comment.
      M

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  15. I’m catching up here, Meredith. This is a great post. You’ve said it all, so there’s nothing I can add!

    Rosie xx

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    1. Rosie,
      I thank you for your kind comment.
      Meredith

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  16. I only occasionally read blogs like yours, simply because it's not what we do. INWD? I came to the marriage with a boatload of dominance. She came with her own boat full of Super Girl assertiveness and defiance. Quite feisty and that was what attracted me to her. It took me a decade to dial back my Alpha side and for her to pull in her claws.

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