I have done a lot of thinking about something that should be really obvious. Who carries the responsibility of keeping a ttwd marriage on an even keel?
I work each day to keep things smooth. I know it is my emotions, those high and lows that cause problems. I know I distance when I feel unheard. I know the distancing can continue when I am upset. One word answers are a telltale sign. I know I go on and on when I still want to be heard. I know that flipping out causes problems. My submission is great except when it isn't.
When things are smooth, my world is humming right along. I share my perspectives and opinions. We listen to one another and enjoy the conversation. However, when things are rocky, who was responsible for upsetting the ttwd applecart?
So being a brave ttwd wife, I asked Jack what he thought about all this......... who is responsible for upsetting the smoothness? Who rocks the ttwd boat? Without the slightest hesitation, he replied that it would be me. We agreed on the things we wanted. He hasn't changed a thing about what he likes, wants and enjoys. The smoothness is up to me. I do the distancing, flipping out, the emotional highs and lows, the lack of submission, the inability to let things go and the list goes on.
Jack does say that things have so improved and things are usually smooth. He says he is always ready for the bumps and emotional turbulence that comes along. His words work so well to calm his wife and so does some time over the bed if his words are not working. The sexual fireworks we enjoy are wonderful after so long a marriage. That is why he says we will never give this up. He says once a ttwd husband finds out how ttwd works, not one of them would ever give this up.
So there you have it. You now have Jack's point of view. Interview your husband and tell us what he says. Who carries the responsibility of keeping things smooth in your ttwd marriage?