Wednesday, August 9, 2017

What If ............................

This post is dedicated to a great reader who encouraged me to write about what if..............

What if there was no internet? Have you ever thought about that?  We would not know one another. Really, I do not know all of you, but a small group of you are very important to me. Without the internet, we would not know one another and this got me thinking about ttwd. 

We would hover near our snail mailboxes and we would sit by our landlines staring to make the phone ring. We subscribed to magazines and newspapers to keep current. Airline tickets were purchased through a travel agent. There would be no Netflix, daily weather forecasts, shopping online, filing with the IRS, banking,  and the list goes on. I especially enjoy online classes, emailing and even Facebook which sucks away lots of time, but keeps you in touch with long lost friends. 

The internet opened the world and I am never going back to life without the world wide web. I read the blogs that reflected my interests: fashion, book reviews, travel, and cooking. 

I was a closet spanko heading straight for meds to stop approaching depression I could feel it coming on. We had just retired and were in Palm Springs. I remember thinking "is this all there is?". I wanted something more and I wanted to look at my husband in a new way.  I wanted to give up leading. I wanted him to lead and had no idea how to do that. 

Googling the word spanking would do it all right. Many of you are here today for doing the very same thing I did. It did not take long to find the blogs. Then I made the big step to do my own blog. I asked my husband to spank. He said yes and we began an incredible ttwd journey that continues today. 

What if.......... I found the blogs and did not read and think about them? 

What if....... I found blogging too exposing?

What if ........ readers did not comment? 

What if ....... I became discouraged and pulled out of blogging?

What if .......... I never encouraged readers to write to me?

What if ............ I didn't give my email address right there on the blog?

What if .......... this reader was not inclined to share. She knew a great deal about our ttwd life. I needed to know something of hers. 

What if ......... we have no more secrets to share? That isn't going to happen.

What if ........... the floodgates hadn't opened and she didn't share?

What if ............ she was not willing to share how ttwd works at her house?

What if ......... she didn't believe me that we were just leaving on a big trip and would write to her upon our return?

What if .......... she didn't wait for me to return? Would she be there waiting for me?

What if ........... we didn't trust one another? 

What if .......... we were not faithful in our communication? 

What if ........... our husbands frowned on our visiting one another?

What if ......... sharing our ttwd experiences just stopped? 

I once met the acquaintance of a young person who told me not to live my life on what ifs. So I never have and never will. Wise advice from a youngster. 

Is there a what if that you have blocked from happening and are happier for it? Share with us, please. 



  1. Great post Meredith, and great questions. We wouldn't have such amazing connections and friendships without the internet.


  2. What if... EL James had not written 'Fifty Shades'?
    What if... Sheldon had not spanked Amy?
    Harry's mind would not have been opened to the idea that spanking could be fun and my bottom would have remained unspanked.

    What if... an early spanking had not left some light bruising?
    I would not have Googled 'How to spank your wife' and would never have found Blogland - and that leads to a whole lot more 'what ifs'...

    Rosie xx

  3. What if I never trusted anyone?
    What if I never took the first step?
    What if I had never wrote a First Hello?

    There would be no Ella. Ella was born because I found the courage to admit who I really was.

    What a lovely and thoughtful post, Mere.
    Thank you for being you.

  4. Great post Meredith. I spent a lot of years in relationships where I believed I shouldn't have to tell my mate what I needed. My theory: If I have to tell him to say "I love you", it won't mean anything. He should just do it. If I have to tell him I need a spanking, it won't be the same. He should know. When Eric and I met, he told me everything he was thinking and needing. He taught me to do the same. Over time, I learned to share what my needs are and I'm starting to get over my fear of being rejected or told no because the yeses that are get are so worth it. What if I never learned to tell Eric what I like, want, need? Amy

  5. Great post Mere. What if we meet down by the water to talk some more.

  6. I LOVE this, you are brilliant!
    There are many 'what if's' in my life that I have blocked so that I could move forward. A definite big one is...What if I didn't find this blog or the others, and...What if I didn't send that little email quietly hoping for a response. I shudder to think of how different things might be and relish in the fact that those little What if's didn't stop me. xo

  7. What if I had not reached out to you, Meredith? My life would be very different. Thank you for opening up, risking your privacy, and especially agreeing to meet me in person!! Great advice from this young person. I'm glad you took it!

  8. Beautifully written and thought-provoking for many areas of life.

  9. Hi Meredith!:) Loved this "What if" post! Ahhhh... those what-ifs! They can wreak havoc on a person for sure. You do have a wise friend. Avoiding the path of what-ifs, is an important skill to learn, and not an easy one to practice. They are worrying about things that have not happened, and they are certain to bring one down, when the worrying gets the best of us.

    On the other hand, what-ifs can be ideas of challenges to take on, things to learn, behaviors to change, and positive things, leading to new adventures when acting upon them. You have written about many of these kinds of things above. A clever, well written post!:)

    I'll give it a go in this realm... What if all people did their best to always be kind? What if people spent more time really listening to one another? What if illness was a thing of the past?

    What if I had never read Fifty Shades? What if I had not had the concept of submission "speak to me"? What if I had not had the realization that I was equally responsible for the place that we were in our marriage, before ttwd? What if Rob had not decided to step up, and spank too? What if I had not read Cherise Sinclair's Series of books, and not perused her website? What if I had not come across her Dd link, that led me to google "spanking"? What if they continue to manufacture Rob's favourite spatula until I am in my 90's? HA! Enough from me! Lovely and interesting post, Meredith. Oh... one more for you: What if you want an a├žai bowl? ;)Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

  10. Well you sure have hit my heart with this one. I spend waaaay too much time on the "what ifs" of life. But not in a helpful way. When I have a "what if" in my head I always choose the worse case scenario. UG. I hate that about myself. On the other hand, I think about where my husband and I are now in our relationship and though our TTWD life is still very slowly developing, it is indeed developing. So in this case I could ask "what if I never had the nerve to mention this to him again after he shot it down flat the first time?" "What if I never reached out to you and Katie?" Now those are really really positive "what if" scenarios! Tells me that taking a calculated risk may be the best way to live the rest of my days. Will I? Ah. We shall see, friend. We shall see. Thank you again for always being thought provoking.