Friday, August 25, 2017

A Real Doozy!

When the sun and the moon align and the tides go a little crazy, strange things happen even in our own kitchen. Monday, August 21st was a mind blowing day. 

We were not in the pathway of totality, but in our neck of the woods, we watched the eclipse to the tune of 92% coverage of the sun by the moon. Totally amazing! So is what happened later that evening. Not only was the solar system and the tides wild that day, so was the situation in the kitchen at our house. 

First I want to write about Jack. My Jack is a very calm guy, hard to get worked up, and slow to anger. However, I knew things were askew when things went ttwd-wise so downhill. 

We were in the kitchen making dinner together. We were talking about many things and I was dressed commando in a sundress. I honestly do not know or remember what I was talking about. Without any warning and completely unexpected, Jack gave me a huge swat and bent me over the counter, pulling up that sundress and continuing that spanking. Finally, he let me up and I was sputtering and rubbing, teary and wild eyed. He told me to never talk like that ......... no more sarcasm, no more disrespect. He pulled me close and my arms went around him. I was stunned, a deer in the headlight feeling and I had no idea I was even close to making him so upset. We completed dinner prep in silence. We ate in silence. He then said we would do the washing up together and then we would be talking, and if necessary, going up to our room for more spanking with the paddle. Yikes! 

Once in my sitting spot, facing Jack, I burst into tears. I told him I did not even know what I said. He said my tone, sarcasm and attitude were not acceptable. I could only nod trying to stop crying. He went on to say that he should have marched me upstairs, but decided in the heat of the moment, to just take care of things right there. I was to watch how I spoke to him. Did I understand? 

Truly, the suddenness of this spanking blindsided me like no other spanking ever. Somehow I must have become disrespectful without even being aware of it. We went on to have a great evening and when he tucked me into bed, I again apologized. He told me that he was pleased I have received the message. I took a deep breath as he turned off the light. 

In our four years of ttwd, I have not been spanked like that. This was a first! He got my attention and how. My mild mannered husband joined the sun, the moon and the tides in doing something different and unusual and I am the better for it. 



  1. Wow Meredith, That is quite a story. It's interesting how our words sometimes matter much less than our tone and body language. There have been times when I've been warned, "Don't be so mouthy" when I was just voicing my opinion on some mundane non-confrontational subject. My tone, however, made it feel to Eric as though I was picking a fight. Anyway, now that you've gotten over the shock of it all, I bet you feel closer to Jack. I know being reeled in like that is usually a sign that our husbands are sensing something we need long before it even occurs to us. Have a great weekend. Amy

  2. Yikes! Tone of voice is always a touchy thing around here, the old "not what you said, but how you said it". I know your Jack made things right. So sorry it came in like a storm.

  3. I think I have to say "Wow" too. There were 2 unusual happenings at your house that day.

    As you and others have said before, many of us have crossed that bridge from ttwd to "This Thing We Are." Perhaps there are occasions where we don't think we have been disrespectful, but the manner in which we speak reminds our husbands of the way we were before ttwd came into our lives. It could be something as small as the cadence to our spoken word. We forget and slip into that old voice even if it is as mundane a topic or task as the grocery list or making dinner.

    I do not know if this is true for everyone, but there are isolated moments where Sam says something, and it reminds me of something small that I didn't like about him before he embraced ttwd. Before he made it his own. It need not be about me at all. It passes quickly, and there really is no need to discuss it further. It occurs less and less each year we grow into this relationship.

    I have recently done some research into hypnosis and how our brains process new information and how our memory works. I feel that I have a much deeper understanding of the part that our subconscious and super subconscious play in a dynamic personality. How we can bring about change and grow past a negative experience banked in our memory.

    The wonderful thing is that we are a hundred times more aware of how what we say and do impacts our partner. I say that is a small price to pay for a sore bottom.

    A Hug From Ella

  4. Hi Meredith, hugs, I am sure you didn't mean to upset him
    love Jan, xx

  5. As difficult as ttwd may be at times I truly love that we have this way to make things right. It protects and keeps us close when we mess up. Jack has never been one to shy away from things that needed fixing and he stepped up on this one in a big way. We all know that it takes care of the most important thing in our, and I agree with Ella, it is so worth the sore bottom. Thank you for sharing this one with us Meredith, I'm sure it's not always easy to do. xo

  6. Hi, Meredith,
    Sounds like the moon crossing the sun, didn't work in your favor on Monday. As in you crossing Jack. I find that Hoss is more aware of how I am speaking most of the time more than I am. I feel like they hone in on the voice, the sarcasm, etc. as trouble for them if they do not put a stop to it right then. Glad that's behind you!

  7. Your man is very in tune to you...words are much easier to be careful of than tone....long ago I was known as "Queen of Sarcasm" took a while, but I have loss that title...
    hugs abby

  8. Ouch! That sounds emotionally exhausting. That eclipse caused chaos all over the place, what a week it's been! I laughed at "commando in a sundress." That is something we joke about being a norm down the road "Someday, when the kids are no longer koalas."

  9. Sounds like Jack made a rapid response to your foot in mouth episode. I'm glad all came good in the end, though your end suffered!
    Rosie xx

  10. Hi Meredith,

    Oh ouch! It's hard when we are blindsided by a spanking. It's true isn't it...not what you say but how you say it. I'm glad it had a sweet ending :)


  11. That would have been awesome viewing the eclipse Meredith. Golly gosh you obviously must have said something in the wrong tone for your sweet Jack to react like that. Happy to hear the night ended well though.
    Hugs Lindy xx

  12. and here you are...closer than ever...

  13. I long debated with myself whether or not to post a comment, but since I can't get it out of my head and noone else voiced this, I just decided to go with it.

    First, everything could be the way you wrote it. You were disrespectful without noticing. But what concerns me is that nobody even thinks about the other option, which is you weren't disrespectful at all and Jack just heard it the wrong way.

    The other thing which concerns me is that he just started spanking, without explaining anything. And I don't think just your backside suffered. You were so shocked, that you couldn't talk to him. You just nodded in tears when he finally did. Of course by then you didn't even remember the topic which upset him so.

    I don't know this just rubs me in the wrong way. I know you said all is well now, you had a great evening and as I said, maybe you were disrespectful, but certainly you didn't mean to be and for that I think he should've at least given you a warning or explained himself before spanking away.

    I don't mean to offend anyone, and I hope I didn't. I just wanted to give another perspective on this and surely I'm not judging anyone here. You seem like a very loving couple and as you said you're okay now, so that's all that matters anyway.

  14. Hey Meredith - I "get" this. I believe it indicates a high level of trust and communication between you and Jack. This is part of "ttwd" becoming "ttwa," or "that thing we are." The dynamics are different between the two.

    I remember reading some things when we were early in our ttwd life and thinking "Whoa...that's overwhelming. I can't relate to that." Now, those things are common to me. And, even if they weren't? That's fine, too. The point is the couple finding their way, together, communicating all the time. ~Jennifer

  15. I haven't experiencing anything quite like that, Mere. I would say that was one quick wake-up call. Glad it all turned out well.

  16. Sending hugs and happy to hear that everything is talked out. You and Jack have a beautiful history of being able to communicate and I truly am coming to learn that this is the gift of TTWD. I am always so appreciative of your willingness to share.

  17. Amen to the Anonymous who wrote at 722AM from another Anonymous. I think you are lovely. Sometimes I wonder about Jack, but none of my business. It's not my marriage. I do enjoy reading your blog and hope you never stop. I've learned a lot that is really useful.