I just love this photo. I had braids when I was about the age of this young lady. However, our ttwd is far from what this photo presents. This little girl looks like she is in big trouble.
First things first, when we began ttwd, we did so with a good understanding of some basics. We are both adults and as adults, we enter into ttwd as partners. Yes, one partner is leading and one partner is following, but we both have a voice. We decided NEVER to use the word punishment ever. Period!
Lindy and Deena, like all ttwd couples, sometimes we are away from home when things get bumpy. Jack will not usually spank in hotels. Spankings are loud even at best. So when we return from our times away, Jack will very often do an RA spanking. The purpose of this spanking is to get us both back on track and to reinforce our ttwd ways.
When we are away, we do a lot of talking when those bumps happen........... Jack does the talking and I do the listening. He firmly and quietly reminds me of our ttwd promise to one another. We talk things over, with both of us doing the talking. We use words until we are home. Once we are home, there are many things to do. Laundry, mail, groceries, life and once we get all things back in order, Jack will address things that happened while we were away.
This time, we talked with me over the bed. The spanking was mild, even loving. However, when we finished and he brought me into his arms, we were both reconnected and there was peace. What we do is very adult, loving and yes, it works every single time.
Lindy and Deena, remember that word punishment is never for us. Remember that a spanking promised while away often is tame once home. Because we have been at this almost four years, we know how to communicate better, listen better and do ABK when things go awry. I find that using ABK (always be kind, thank you, Katie) is the best tool when you are away from your usual.