Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Ttwd Is Not What We Do, But Who We Are

I often think about this life I lead, this ttwd life. This man of mine really likes how this works for us. He says daily that he likes me "freshly spanked".  He says he loves and enjoys the results. He has a calmer wife. I think Jack was surprised the first couple of times he spanked me. I know I was. We both found this reigniting of passion amazing, not gone or dormant. It seemed like what we had as two young marrieds. Finding we could capture and enjoy this passion all over again was wonderful. Imagine finding something that makes it all new and fun again........ that is what we have and we treasure it. 

When we decided to take this path, it was a new and exciting time. After close to four years, it is simply who we are now. We live it, but do not talk about it as we once did. I have learned so much about many things.  And I have learned a great deal from you. 
Thank you!

When I was first blogging, I had a dear friend. She was a fellow blogger and she told me that ttwd was now an integral part of who they were. She decided to take her blog down. I asked her if she was going to still read the blogs and in particular, mine. She told me no. We parted ways and I miss her. If she were to read this, perhaps she might decide to write to me. We shall see.

I received an email from a long time reader. She lives far away from us and the chance of meeting one another is slim, although still possible. She has kids at home and in college and is a busy wife and mother. I just love her. Our lives have now crossed over to the real side and we enjoy one another on FaceBook. We love supporting one another and becoming one another's biggest fans.

This reader wrote an eloquent paragraph about her marriage and ttwd. I asked her if I could share it with all of you, and she graciously said yes. Here is what she wrote:

It is a strange thing- the way our men become so attractive when they are letting us know we are about to be spanked, huh? Sometimes I simultaneously feel annoyed and rebellious (just to be honest!) -- but, even then, there is a level of feeling attached to him that can't be denied. As I 've told my husband several times, as much as I do not want to be spanked, I also long for the reconciliation and peace that comes. Sometimes I feel a physical longing for it........ which, the first few times, made me feel almost convinced I was crazy! LOL!  I would know it was coming and we would have to wait, (as we do most times), until there are time and space for it, and I longed so much for the outcome that my body would actually long to be over his knee, getting things done. The thing is, there has never been a time it didn't bring us completely back together, completely resolving the issue. It happens every single time. 

I find these last two sentences so true. What about you? 

Ttwd is not what we do. It is who we are. What about you?

Then my sweet friend Laurel wrote to me. Actually, we are always writing, but this email fit right into the essence of this post. She generously said yes to my sharing what she wrote.

 I absolutely agree with this statement. Ttwd is not what we do; it is who we are. It has become so natural that we don't have to think about the workings of our marriage anymore; that is just how it is........ how we live, eat, breathe, play and love. Ttwd is all encompassing. It's so much who we are that it is a deep, inherent element in our life. We believe in it, we grow with it, we trust it. It takes care of the most precious of things....... us. It is just who we are now. First by choice (and always by choice), but now simply because after living this way, we see there is no alternative or going back. I think we are always aware of ttwd and always are striving to make things better holding dear to the good things it brings.......... better communication, affection, respect, consideration, caring, loving and peace. By no means though is it easy. It requires commitment, work and a lot of listening for it to keep afloat. You have to want it and need it deeply. When I talk about roles, I don't feel that word is accurate because we are not playing roles here, but living our lives honestly, but when writing, it makes it easier to use that word. It is hard to put into words the peace and love felt living this way. I feel it in our marriage daily and with all my heart. 

There is nothing sexier that a husband spanking his wife. 

Thank you, Jennifer and Laurel. You both wrote inspirationally. 

In the end, this ttwd becomes a part of who we are as a couple. It is simply just who we are! 

How about you?



  1. I so agree, Mere and I do feel as if a part of me is missing. As you know and I've told others...I came to ttwd in a very different manner than most...both my relationships included spanking from almost the beginning. I find that there is a part of me that misses the calm that comes from a stress relief or attitude adjustment spanking. I am now at a point where I've been looking around at possibly starting another relationship...if I can find the right guy. But since I was involved in a 'vanilla' relationship between my ex and Matthew, I know that any relationship I enter into, is going to have to include ttwd. Just won't be happy otherwise.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

  2. Awesome post Meredith, I agree :)


  3. Hi Meredith, this is exactly how we feel, we have both read this lovely post this morning. Also I would like to say I really really hope that cat can find that special someone too.
    love Jan, xx

  4. Meredith,
    It's a little over four years since Harry overcame both nature and nurture and brought himself to spank me for the first time. It was only ever meant to be for fun, a turn-on, he could never contemplate spanking me for real. It was a lot of fun and enhanced things in the bedroom; as your Jack says, there's nothing sexier than spanking your wife. We never made the decision to bring ttwd to our marriage, it just evolved that way. We became closer, so much more in tune, how did that work? Who knows? It just does.
    Today, it's just part of our lives and, yes, who we are.
    Great post Meredith. Thanks to Jennifer and Laurel for their insight.
    Rosie xx

  5. Everything here is well-said. Though perhaps we are the exception, there have been two times that things did not get better after a spanking. I think it's because we were still needing to work on our communication there. This has been said before, but I repeat...It's much more about the communication than about the spankings.

  6. Wonderful post Meredith. Thanks for sharing and thanks to Jennifer and Laurel.


  7. Love the perspectives.

  8. Great post Meredith, Laurel and Jennifer! :)

    At some point in time, you just find yourselves living this way. It is all of those things that Laurel has mentioned above, with communication and sharing at the top I think. It takes continued work, because for anything to be great, it involves putting in some effort, and both parties have to do it. It is worth it in every way- even when things are hard. While spanking is, in and of itself, the driving force perhaps, at the beginning, it is the communication and intimacy that makes all the difference. Spanking may be just the tool, but it IS so darn sexy... most of the time! ;) Rob and I love Love LOVE living this way! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie
    PS. Woo Hoo to my Cuz, Cat t! You are a special lady, and any fella that you end up with, will surely know it! <3

  9. I haven't commented earlier on as I was thinking about the title of this post. TTWD is not what we do, but who we are. That just hit the nail on the head for me. For 40+ years our lifestyle has always been this way. I just assumed this was the way things went. It was until the Era of exploring the Internet did I discover a name for the lifestyle. Somehow it validated what we were doing had merit. And while in the early stages, yours truly tried to change things up, you know reinvent the wheel so to speak, there was no need to do so. Certainly having information out there and discovering friendships with bloggers has helped to open the lines of communication and therefore has further inhanced what we do. I think Katie stated it well.. spanking can be a driving force to solve issues, I mean after all there are consequences for not leaning in right? Accepting that spanking can be so hot and sexy is the great part of it for sure and when used to clear the air when there is disharmony certainly makes you respect your partner and their leadership role. I for one, now appreciate Sir's natural leadership and continue to work on improving meeting his expectations as this makes him happy and further strengthens our relationship.

  10. Yes, it has definitely evolved into a new level of intimacy since we started over 3 years ago now. We were a bit awkward at first, and it was a role we were both learning. But ttwd is dynamic, and so are the benefits we reap from our relationship. It is with us every day and every night. It is with us through every spanking and every time we make love.

    It is not longer just This Thing We Do.

    It has become This Thing We Are.

    New acronym TTWA.

    Where will we be 3 years from now?

    Thanks so much for this thoughtful post, Mere!