There have been times since beginning ttwd that I have had trouble sticking to the plan. Today a faithful reader wrote to me regarding sticking to the plan. So now I will explain.
Before I begin this reader's story, I thought I would share a diagram of how men and women approach plans. I showed this to Jack and he absolutely agreed. Men are hunters........ get in and get out. Women are gatherers meandering through so as not to miss anything. Do you agree?
First what happens here............ life can get complicated. There are lots of things to do and a plan works. With Jack, we always follow a plan...... first, we go here, then we go there and so on. We do have times when we are more spontaneous. When I shop with a friend, we enjoy the fact that there is no plan! We meander and wander enjoying conversation and time together. So sometimes there is a plan and sometimes we alter the plan as needed into no plan at all.
Not long ago, I received an email from a long-time faithful reader. She found herself in a situation and wanted my advice. Here it was Valentine's Day and her husband had decided that they would be staying home due to a family situation. They would celebrate with ice cream at a local ice cream place and look forward to another time for a dinner out. Then the situation changed and my friend texted her husband that they could indeed go out for a Valentine dinner. At this very point, the story became interesting. Her husband texted that plans were in place and they would be staying home. and would go for ice cream after dinner. Many texts crisscrossed between the couple. He held firm and said that there was no reason to change the plans and a decision had been made.
My dear reader wrote that a dinner out would be wonderful, but her husband was firm about staying home. She asked me for advice. What should she do.......accept his decision or badger him into changing his mind? I said I knew exactly what and why she wanted here. However, a ttwd wife must follow those decisions that do not always make life easy. Ugh? I encouraged her to lean in here. She did just that only to have her husband text that he now wanted to go out to dinner. When they arrived at the chosen restaurant, they were turned away because they had no reservations. Where did they end up? That's right........ the ice cream place....... the very place they intended to go earlier when they were having dinner at home!
My friend did lean in and I think she felt pleased that she had supported her husband even though it was not what she had wanted. To end up at the very same ice cream place is poetic. She says that they are making their way and things are always changing. She always has such a confident outlook and I really like her. She has a keen sense of humor that I enjoy. I know she would value your comments.