Saturday, September 3, 2016

Why Do We Think The Worst?

The post just before this one tells of a situation that rocked our world, Jack and Meredith's world.

The situation required us to talk out the problem even though we were both very upset. Things have settled down and we are fine. We learned so much considering we didn't think we had anymore to learn in treating our marriage with great love and respect. 

Right in the middle of all, when I was at the point of being most upset, I doubted ttwd. I thought we are all done. This is a test and we have failed. Jack is not spanking me ever again.  We are so done with all of this. I am way too angry to submit and why did I ever give consent in the first place? All of that and plenty more went racing through my brain. I was unsure about where we were? Was ttwd over? 

Jack is the type of Hoh that believes that once things are back on track, talking about what happened is not necessary. We are facing forward. He knows I am way different on that note. I do like to talk it over here on the blog and emailing my dear friends. He is fine with that. So he was a little annoyed two days later when I wanted to talk about it again. 

Me: Things are back to smooth here. Are we doing ttwd still? 

Jack: What do you think brought us together in all that anger and mess? It was ttwd that led us right through it all.  We used ttwd to get us back to us. No distancing, one leader and one follower. I wouldn't let the anger go on and you followed my leadership leaning in as we talked. It is not all about spanking, Meredith. We are never giving up ttwd. It will always be here. During the good times and the awful times, ttwd will be right here. I will be leading and spanking your backside until the very end. 

So once again, I had thought the worst. I thought we were done while Jack was busy using ttwd to bring us back. Good grief! 

Things run very smooth around here most of the time. I watch the way I speak. I am respectful. I hold back on driving comments and remember the way my husband likes things. So I will find myself wondering where the ttwd is. We travel well together and enjoy one another's company. I again ask to myself......... are we doing ttwd? Are things in place?  

The smooth parts can lull you right into a peaceful happy place that calls you up short when things get bumpy. The smoothness hides the strength of ttwd that is just below the surface. If peace is disrupted, my guy is quick to act nipping attitude, tone and mouthiness immediately. 

My question really is why do we women always think the worst? I always go right to the negative even though I think I am a positive person. 

Do you jump right to the negative in a situation? Why does that happen? Why is it we women see the negative first?



  1. Hi Meredith, there is a bit of thinking the worst over here at the moment. I am feeling a bit done with it all to be honest at the moment. I have no idea why we always see the worst, these men of ours don't talk and work things out as much as us. I don't know. Hope all is well for you now
    love Jan, xx

  2. Hi Meredith,
    I have heard so many times that men are usually pessimistic and women are often optimistic. However I believe the reverse to be true. Coupled with women's ability to over think most situations and you have the big, ugly doubt creeping in. Me.....I just try to relax and let what will happen, happen.

  3. My husband and I love your blog!! It rings so true for us!

    What is RA? And gig? I have seen both used in several like blogs.

    Thank you for writing about this situation. It was soo helpful to us!!!

  4. Hi Meredith, :) It was nice to see your post-post write up here! To come to the realization that ttwd is not just about spanking, is a good one. It made you think about what you were really doing. That is a great thing! I am happy for you!

    I read this to Rob in the car, and he would tell you that I am not like that. Sometimes he will groan at me because I tend to always find something on the bright side. It can drive him a little nuts at times. LOL! I tend to be a positive person in general. What I am good at however, is worrying. Also, I have been known to go on and on at times. Those are areas that Rob helps me with- in all sorts of ways (not just spanking).

    I am so happy that you and Jack are back on track. Peace in Jack's valley means that things are working out just right, I would say. :) You are doing great! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

  5. LOL Mere...I've always tried to see the positive side which has been much easier over the years since my divorce as my ex was the negative nellie in our relationship. Happy you and Jack are back on are doing great! :D

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

  6. Mere,,Iam mostly negative and have to work on being positive,...looking up photos for you has helped a great deal


  7. I also think of myself as a positive person but there have been times when the going got tough and I thought ttwd was out the window. I'm not sure why, was it because I thought the issue was greater than ttwd? I'm really not sure. What I am sure of however, is that my guy very quickly pulled me back, assuring me ttwd was alive and well and would be for a very, very long time, much the way Jack did with you. We have used it to solve many problems over the years in many ways. As you and Jack have said its not always about the spanking.
    Thank you for sharing, it's got me thinking again!

  8. I mostly try and see the positive, but sometimes I'm over the top with worry type things! My Scotsman doesn't like to continuously re hash issues AT ALL! His eyes get that glazed look!

  9. I don't really understand why it's easy for us women to "go south" when things aren't going well. I'm struggling with that myself right now - not because of our relationship but because of some external circumstances. Meredith, I'm so glad that you and Jack are back in a really good place despite what sounded like an awful time. Thank you for sharing and reminding us of so many things we often ttwd is not always about spanking.

  10. I try to be the positive one most of the time where as Bear is negative about most situations. We seem to be opposites yet compliment each other well.
    So happy you and Jack are back on track and there is peace in the valley.
    Hugs Lindy

  11. I am a worrier and I panic easily, yet I tend to be an optimist. Weird combination, I know. We seem to be taking a long time to figure out our style of ttwd and just when I feel like I'll just try to give up on the concept, my guy will decide that this is when he should take charge. It's confusing. And frustrating. But I am trying to go along at his pace and let him lead. When I read your posts it reminds me why this is important to me and why I want this for our marriage. Much appreciate all you share. Sending hugs across the country!

  12. why they do with is too much negative it is possible baby

  13. I am so glad you are both well again. I think I see all the possibilities of every situation and that includes both the positive and the negative - it helps me to be in the situation hoping for the best but prepared for the worst. Hugs

  14. I like to think of myself as a glass half full person and I do, generally, have a positive outlook. Give me something to worry about though and I'll invariably dwell on the worst case scenario. I've no idea why and wish it weren't so.
    Rosie xx