I am this woman......... the trapeze artist flying through the air with the greatest of ease............ most of the time! My life is a balancing act, filled with the perfect sensual tension and the delicious chemistry of ttwd. I balance independence and submission hoping always to do so gracefully.
I was a career woman, and not a submissive wife. We did not begin ttwd until after I stopped working. In my early posts, I explain how all that happened. Now in the big world outside our door, I am seen by many as an independent woman. I have many outside activities which require me to make decisions and relate to people as a leader. When I across our threshold, I lean in. I become Jack's submissive wife accepting my role and following his lead. I can and do wear both hats. Stumbling is all part of this new lifestyle. I have a husband who loves his peace.
It is that secret life I wrote about not long ago. We ttwd wives live this dual public and private life. A great friend, Laurel, said it so well when we emailed one another about this topic. She said, "It is a matter of balance and I find the two roles easy because the boundaries are very clear. In my life outside my home, I make decisions in my career. When I walk into my house at the end of the day, I leave that role and my priorities change. I look to my husband to make decisions or help me do so. He leads and I follow. I love being in his arms feeling safe and taken care of in the early morning and at the end of the day. I like this balance. I always have been able to separate the two and have always considered my work only a small part of my larger life."
Another faithful reader who wrote to me recently saying something that must be shared in its entirety. A faithful reader J, her husband said that ttwd is here to stay. She wrote, "I think a post about the dichotomy in a career woman and a submissive wife would be so good! And it is true-- I'm definitely seen as a strong woman (not in an ultra feminist, bossy way--- just a strong woman) and anyone would be completely shocked about the way we live our leading/submitting chemistry in our marriage. Our friends/family see it when they are around us. They see the chemistry, but, of course, don't know all that supports it behind the scenes. I am not a career woman..... as I work in a support position, still working towards a certified position, but I am a leader in several roles in my life. I personally think the tension there is delicious- the transformation I can have when at home and whenever I'm with hubby, to lay down the power is such a freeing feeling.
Good friend Katie of This Whole Thing added her comments too. She wrote, " It takes strong women who feel good about themselves to submit. I am thinking that our men do excellent jobs in appreciating our knowledge --- what our strong points are that we bring to the marriage table. It really becomes teamwork.
When independence and submission clash, we all know what happens. Jack keeps the peace in our home. I always remember that I am the happiest I have ever been.
I love the snippets this post holds: strong women, delicious tension, secret chemistry, and a balancing act gracefully mastered. Ttwd causes renewed intimacy. You and your husband return to that just married time when your love was new and exciting. Now you bring wisdom and experience to your marriage. I love that readers and a fellow blogger comment here to make this post really a testimonial for ttwd.
I like when J. writes that she lays down her power and enters her home ready to submit to her husband. I like when Kaite calls us strong women who decide to submit. I love when Laurel calls our life as ttwd women a graceful balancing act.
Thank you, Laurel, J., and Katie.