Thursday, May 12, 2016

This Happens Again And Again



Twice in the last hour! At least once every single car ride! At meal time, when we are snuggling under the covers, last evening when we sitting outside at twilight, ..........in other words, this is my life! I find that I have mellowed big time. I am accepting of doing things not my way. 

Jack loves being the hoh. He thrives and loves his position as leader and he loves that I am following. Things do work well for us, but sometimes, I am perplexed. He says that this or that is the way he wants it and my response is to agree, accept or go along with things that would have sent me in a tailspin several years ago. We do things his way and I am fine with it.  Sometimes it really spooks me. Shouldn't I argue that point? Do I really agree with this new way? Do I swallow what he has said or do I want to discuss it?

So let's name a few of these times:

Croutons on a salad I am not wild about. He wants them. We have them on our salads.

Washing and drying knives the very minute we are finished using them. Really?? Yes!

There is always and still laundry interference, but I do things more is way. 

I am off to a haircut, but I am to remember how much he likes my hair gathered in a ponytail.

Pleasing him is central to my life in ways I did not predict.

For the most part, I am quiet when a passenger. He drives the way he thinks is best without my remarks on a better route.

He likes a completely cleared kitchen counter every night. I fulfill that wish. 

I accept his request for no checking of my phone when we are in the car together. 








The change is me! I am the one who has changed. I really have changed. I do not argue the things Jack wants because usually they are the same things I want too. When we began Ttwd, I do remember reading on different blogs, all gone now, that I would change. I would learn to lean in to please him. He is always so very good to me. So leaning in to what he wants seems to perpetuate the happiness. Corny, but so true.

The change is me. I am the one who has changed and I am so happy for it. The wolf and depression are held at bey.  I feel safe and loved.


Postscript: 

I was feeling so cheeky at the smoothness at our home that I stumbled right after I boldly talked about how I have changed. Stay tuned.


Thanks, L.
Meredith





12 comments:

  1. Mere,,I'm so glad that Jack is good to you,,sorry about you stumbling,,I think Jack is lucky to have you,,,better you than someone like me,,I'm not easy is get along with sometimes,tell Jack to have mercy.


    L.

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  2. What a sweet post, Meredith. All the little snapshots of you and Jack here could fill an album. As I was reading, I thought you really are very good at this now and should be proud of yourself!

    Then I got to the Postscript and had to smile. Pride goeth before the fall, for sure. I was kind of glad you weren't perfect, though. Perfect people are boring friends.

    Ella Waiting for the Rest of the Story

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  3. Very sweet revelation! Stumbling from time to time is just part and parcel of being human I'm afraid. (((hugs)))

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  4. I have always said...Change is Good, and it's obviously worked well for you and Jack. It's wonderful when we get to that point of accepting and realizing that we both benefit big time from it. Continue to enjoy the peace and what fun would it be if we didn't have the occasional blip in the valley. A great read, thanks Meredith!

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  5. Hi Meredith, nice post, glad you are happy
    love Jan, xx

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  6. Really sweet post Meredith. You do sound happy.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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  7. Lovely post Meredith,I'm so happy for you :) Sorry about the stumble, we all do it from time to time.

    Hugs
    Roz

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  8. Lovely post Meredith, wonderful how TTWD has changed you.

    Oh dear pity about the stumble but can't be good all the time or life would be boring. LOL!
    Hugs Lindy

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  9. Stumbling makes us human. I am glad you sound so happy and at peace with the changes in your life. Hugs

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  10. Still working on figuring out things here. I don't think he understands how much I am willing to make changes but that I also need help. It's a complicated issue, no?

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  11. I love your examples of how you've leaned in!

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  12. Mere,
    I love that you share. I find it funny though that i just emailed you this morning about change and how it is defined in my marriage right now.
    Hugs as always,
    Alice

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