Friday, April 15, 2016

Flipping Out Is Not Leaning In

Why does a  husband call a talk with his wife a discussion when he is the one doing the talking and the wife is doing the listening, big-eyed and hopeful that the discussion ends with just talking and a hug or two?

Yesterday I went on and on about something that was really already decided. There was some talking from me with hands on hips. There was a little raising of my voice, but for the most part, I thought I was under control. We talked for quite a while.......... rather Jack talked and I listened. His hand was on my leg and his voice low and strong. He said that he thought that he had made clear his decision and he thought I was aware of that. I said little at that point. My voice was now silent. My hands were not on my hips anymore. He continued to talk about my giving up control. He had things under control and my acceptance would be in my best interest. I nodded and kept nodding. He continued to talk and I continued to nod. Then he hugged me and I got up and started to walk away. 

That's when he said that he wasn't finished. He said that a reset was in order here to make his point known. I said that I was fine and I would lean in. He said my leaning needed to happen much earlier. He would be spanking and spank he did.

Jack asked the subject of this post as he saw me typing. He says that our discussion ended the way it needed to for clearer understanding, a very intense ending! 

So why is a discussion something in which a wife says little, nods a lot and ends up with her end over her husband's knee? How are the discussions in your ttwd home?

Thanks, L



  1. Well here it ends that way because without it, it's really not over. I think in this life we need that final emphasis to let it sink in... they have us and we have chosen to let them lead the way.

    Have a wonderful weekend!

  2. Mere,,I give you and the other ladies credit for living this lifestyle. I have been by myself for a long time now and I don't think that I could do what you ladies do. It is a wonderful thing to live this lifestyle and I love reading about it,but reading and living are two different things,,so more power to you all ladies.


  3. Although I'm not by myself, I so agree with Leah. I give you so much credit for 'leaning in'.

  4. Discussions often end the same way as yours did here, especially when it was already discussed and there was no 'leaning in' on my part. For whatever reason it is sometimes hard to do and I don't always hear the talk that goes along with the decision the first time but I am getting better at it. The spanking part goes a long way at getting my attention and making me think twice for the next time which helps everything run a little smoother around here. Thanks for a great post Meredith.

  5. Hi Meredith, no idea why they call it a discussion!! no idea at all.
    love Jan, xx

  6. It is hard, Mere. BTW...ya know how Jack watches you for signs of how you are doing/reacting? Watch him for signs of how he is reacting to what you are saying. Oh and if you find your hands on your hips...good sign that you need to tone it down. ;) Just a suggestion... LOL

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

  7. Meredith,
    This is a good topic for a post. Loved this one. "Discussions" at our house can go the same way. For a while I know I am being respectful about making my point, but the submission can slip away drop by drop.

    Then there is just a split second there when you have said one too many words or one of those body language mistakes. That's called a fumble. You can try for a save, but most times you have already dropped the ball.

    I am not as good at football as you, Mere, but I think that is called a turnover. And that is exactly what Jack had in mind when he turned you over. It is all about the recovery.

    Go Seahawks,

  8. We don't have many serious "discussions" at our house but, when we do, they can sometimes end up with me being upended. Such is the lot of a ttwd wife.

  9. Discussion, is what takes place when he is tell me his decision not what happens if my hands are on my hips and I raised my voice that quickly turns into comments on by behaviour and the consequences. If I'm lucky I can see laughter in his eyes as we discuss what each of our role is in the household usually I have a good view of the floor during this discussion. Oh it's a one sided discussion,not to serious a giggle being my contribution,serious listening with only appropriate responses.


  10. We loved this post. The HOH agrees whole heartedly with Jack on the flipping out comment.