Saturday, March 5, 2016

Should I Be Paying Better Attention?

I have written a postscript to Katie's great comment.

There was a time when I was online all the time. I read many blogs, commented and gave serious thought to becoming a blogger myself. I jumped in and Jack and I became known in blog land little by little.

Then things changed. Bloggers began to evaporate and the void in blog land became huge. There are only a few blogs left that were here when I began. I have made lots of friends........ both readers and bloggers. I hold those friendships close and appreciate every one of them. I have enjoyed building this blog. 

I am nervous when there are so few of us left. Listed below are the blogs I enjoyed until those bloggers left or whose blogs have been silent for a long, long time.

I am thinking things over. I get that uncomfortable feeling and do too much thinking. We really need some fresh, new writers. It feels so empty. I do love my blog. I love the friends made and kept. Just wondering about what to do.  Do these bloggers ever read the blogs still here? 

I am working on your questions. There are not many, but I will wait until the end of the month just in case more questions come my way. 


Shelter In the Storm

Quiet Sarah and the Strongman

Megan's Sweet Secret

A New Perspective

Her Mischief Managed

Marriage Redefined

Creating Harmony

My Sir, My Forever Love

Clara's Wish

Clear As Mud

His Rib, Her Rock

Learning Domestic Discipline

Rogue's Awakening

Finding Sara

My Yellow Brick RoaDD

Katie just made a long comment that makes all the sense in the world. Always be kind, learn from others here in the land, offer a sense of community and know the blessings abound in the friendships offered and taken. I do enjoy blogging and enjoy the exchange. I still think we need more bloggers though.
Thank you, Katie. 


  1. Very thoughtful, Mere. I appreciate the stories of love and all the kernels of truth that are shared here in blogland. If I ever run out of stories, I guess I would stop writing. For now, I am very happy to know some lovely people who understand me the way I am.


  2. Hi Meredith, :) I have been thinking a bit about what you wrote and came back to comment.

    I think that Ella said something above that is the way to look at being in the land. Being "happy to know some lovely people who understand". I think that in that realm, it is expected, due to the subject matter at hand, and what is accepted in today's society, that people will come and go. Some quickly and some say goodbye. That is the way that it is. There are others who come and go, or write when they can/interact when they can. It is a mixed bag really. Anything ABK goes really! ;)

    I like to think about what I have learned from those that are no longer around. I will tell you that three people, from long ago, and their words on their blogs (I was a lurker) made me realize that it wasn't just Rob that needed to up the ante to get us back on track. Our marriage could look different than like friendly roommates dreaming of side by side condos. I had things to change. It changed my life/Rob's and my life! I can never thank them enough. They are no longer in touch. While I feel bad about that, I am most grateful! The spanky stuff came after that. It was icing on the cake, so to speak. A great tool. So perhaps look at things in those terms- what have I learned from those who are no longer around? It is helpful.

    The other thing that I wanted to say is that there are a bunch of new bloggers out there. I am not especially good (call it busy the last many, many months, and kinda shy too) at reaching out. Ronnie so kindly (and Bonnie used to) lists new bloggers each month. So that might be a great place to start.

    Another thought is- ask yourself why you are here. That can be helpful in answering your title question. I do that. I am here to give back if I can. That is why I share what I do. The benefits have been the wonderful friends made, and meeting new ones too as they comment and interact around my posts, and I do on theirs. I am also floored by the amazing love and support that has come my way through hard times. And grateful! And very moved. Blogging has brought so much more and is really a gift in so many ways!

    So, you know, people will come and go. We will learn stuff and have joy in our friendships made. And like everything in life, we sometimes have to say goodbye. Sometimes we can't even do that. Our blogger friends here now understand us. We understand them. We all do things in our own ways, but accept each other as we are. That is very special indeed. And... wait for it... we all give good virtual hugs, and send thoughts and love. We are there. That is an AMAZING thing! Does any of my rambling help? ;) Yes, wordy Katie T is back! LOL! Many hugs and love too,

    <3 Katie

  3. Meredith.. This post came at a very good time. Speaking for myself, I, too, have noticed the void and it is at times concerning wondering what has happened to all the bloggers out there and with some closing down, will there be enough bloggers to help other new people who are looking for the same things we all did when we first discovered this lifestyle and each other. I know for me, I was so naive in the beginning that I didn't even know about "blogging" but once I discovered it, there was so much to read that it all consumed me initially which is not necessarily good with information overload, reading others thoughts instead of sharing your thoughts with your partner. As things evolved for me, I slowly backed away and skimmed through blogs but really only stayed engaged with those that seemed to have similar thoughts as my own and what I was reading felt right in my heart. I am one of those bloggers that simply let things slide last year not intentionally but because life got in the way and things were not easy. I clammed up not only to my hubby but to those here in blog land because I simply didn't know how to express what I was going through and felt that no one would find value. I have resumed as of last week and plan to do my best to post at least once a week even if just a short post. I don't even know who is new in blog land and not sure how to find out when new bloggers join unless they are brought to my attention. I used to see them on Bonnie's site but not sure she is still doing this or not.
    I do want to say that I have so much appreciated the support I have received both here in blog land and behind the scenes as well even if there were times where months went by, I always knew in my heart where I could come and read, respond or not, give thought to what was said and reflect. This post is a good one for all of us to reflect upon and determine how we can continue to support not only well established relationships but new ones as well.

  4. I can tell you that I appreciate every one of you willing to share whatever information and experience you have. You lead the way for those of us trying to figure it all out. Everybody does things their own way and it makes me feel like we can find our own way too - to a better marriage. Thanks to you all.

  5. I've noticed this as well Meredith. Very few of the bloggers that were here when we first started are still around. I really miss them.

    I know I don't write as much as I used to on my blog. Our first couple years of DD, I wrote 2-3 times a week. Now I average once or twice a month. I think in the beginning I needed to write more because we were so new at this and I was just trying to figure it all out. After nearly four years of DD, I don't need the reassurance as much now as I did in the beginning. I also have a lot less time to write nowadays than I did in the beginning.

    I cherish the friends I've made here, both the ones that have moved on and the ones that are still here. While I may not always have the time to comment, I do still try to read as many new posts I can.

  6. Meredith, I have also been thinking about some blogs who seem to have disappeared without a trace. I know from my own experience I only have a handful of people visit my blog. Which at times makes me question whether I should continue. I've learnt so much from reading other blogs and made friends along the way. Sometimes I don't blog when I feel like it though as think I will be boring everyone.

    Really enjoy reading all your posts along about you and your Jack.
    Hugs Lindy

  7. Hey's late, I getting tired and not going to try reading all the comments above so pardon me if I duplicate. Everyone starts blogging for their own lives and relations change and grow, needs become different so many times there is no longer a need and/or a drive to blog. Anyway...enjoy the blogs and friends and hang in there. ;)

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

  8. When I first discovered blogland I was immersed in posting and spent the first hour or two of every morning just reading blogs. Ray and I are not in the same place as others and as time went on, I found I didn't have much to share in that respect. I started writing stories and as most of you know I post one very Monday. Other than that, my posts are few and far between. I love the friends I've made here and am happy to have the opportunity to know them in RL too. I don't think I will ever completely give up blogging and I admire those of you who blog several times a week, week after week and month after month.

  9. Mere,,you have alot to give to the people who will be coming along,,and alot of wisdom,, : - )


  10. I'm still here. I read from time to time. DD is still a big part of my life with StrongMan, but I cannot blog anymore and I just can't comment like I used to. But I think of you all so much and miss you all. I really do. Much love, forever Quiet Sara

    1. Thanks for checking in and letting us know how you two are doing Sara. Hugs and blessings...Cat

    2. Sara,
      Please email me so we can catch up. You are very much missed in blog land.

    3. Sara!!!! SO GOOD to hear from you!!! You are missed! Many hugs and love,

      <3 Katie

    4. Sara, good to hear from you and you're missed.

    5. Aww you guys are all so sweet. I wish so much that I could come back to blogging. It was such fun and I felt so connected here. But it really is just that life is complicated. Someday when my kids are grown I would love to share again and tell others how amazing this life with DD has been for StrongMan and me. We are in a good place. I would love to stop by and say hello this way, anonymously, when I can. But I don't have my email anymore and I don't keep in touch that way. When I left, I deleted all my contacts so I wouldn't be tempted to reach out. It was hard but life was taking a scary turn at that time. Thankfully things are right as rain again. I love you guys! I wish I could talk to Willie but her blog is private now. Hugs and kisses to you all. Thankyou for being so kind to me always.
      Love love love Quiet Sara

  11. I read your blog all the time, and check a few times a week to see if you've posted. I do the same with several others. It's sad to me that some of the biggest ones have disappeared (does anyone know how Clint & Chelsea are?). Meredith, please keep blogging.... You help us newbies

  12. Meredith, I have to put my two cents in on this one, it's a good topic to bring to light.
    I was never more grateful to find blogs about ttwd. It has helped to change my life completely in a way I could only have wished for. In the time that we have been living ttwd I have noticed a big decline in the number of blogs out there. The ones that helped me so much, that I read and reread are now gone. I think of those people often and would love nothing more than to know how they are doing. I suppose just like life itself that blogland is the same, people come and go and life sometimes gets in the way and we all get busy. I think the best thing to do in this case is just appreciate the time they have given. I myself have lurked for a long time and comment here and there. To me I think blogging would be very exciting and making new friends is always a good thing but at the moment the commitment is too great for what I would want a blog to be. Maybe one day I will follow in Meredith's footsteps and try hard to maintain the same standards shown here but for now all I can say is Thank You, for sharing your stories, your struggles and your life with me. I'm a better person because of it.

  13. Clint and Chelsea were not who they said they were. Her illness was a scam to get money

  14. Mere, I too, like so many of us, miss these bloggers you have listed. There are so many that I read when beginning this almost 3 years ago. Thank the Lord you are still here, my sweet friend. I'm also thankful for those that have begun blogs since. There are a few I consider friends and many more that I would like to be friends with! I appreciate every single person that comments on my blogs when I am able to get online. And I love reading what everyone puts out there! As Ella and Katie said, it's just so great that there are others out here who understand. Thank God for all of you!

  15. I know I have not been around like I used to, and am working on that. And QuietSara, so good to see you! :) I think life also happens. For us it was a hospital stay, baby, the Duke was in a major accident, family staying with us almost constantly the past 18 months, and other things. But we still are very invested in this lifestyle, and being here for otheres. When I can read, it's usually during nursing, so I can't type replies. But I do like being able to keep up when I can. :)

  16. I think a lot of bloggers disappeared over the years due to the scams on the LDD network. Bizarre things happened at their retreats, very unhealthy people were attracted to it, HOHs expected all women to submit to them, not just their wives causing a lot of people t run from this world. Confidentiality was also compromised, "Clint and Chelsea" were not who they said they were, when that was discovered it was a big blow to the community, they are in fact doing just fine and did not have illnesses that tugged on heart strings. Trust disappeared and people had to protect their rep identities and families. It's all very sad and I hope the same, practicing couples blog in a fashion they feel safe in.