I have been chatting on Facebook and Gmail with a few blog reader friends. These are the women who became friends when they wrote to me and we began to exchange emails. I am so grateful for these friends and often what they say cause me to reflect back on the way things once were.
One friend wrote that she has great difficulty controlling her moods and frustrations. She easily fell into moments of ranting, yelling and horrible attitude. Hormones are the culprit here and I have so been there. I am also so thankful that that time in my life is over. Raging hormones means no peace. The younger women reading this blog are saluted as it is not easy making your way with a husband who expects to lead as you are yelling to have things your way! Right?
When I was younger, I was a big runner. I tackled half marathons regularly and usually ran twice a day. I would get up very early and run my neighborhood and then repeat the run after I returned home from work. I was fit and trim and could eat just about anything I wanted. Who wouldn't be fit doing all that running?
While I ran, I made mental lists of all there was to do and get done. So when I rounded the last half mile, I was a hot, running mess with a big agenda. Jack would say that i came right in the door without even opening it.
Jack dreaded my running homecomings. I would come through the back door barking orders and agendas to family. Jack told me he used to brace himself for the onslaught of my words, my attitude and my demeanor. His strategy was to take several giant steps backward and give me space to just cool down. I would shower and begin a cool down that often mellowed me, but sometimes not.
We were not doing ttwd. The Internet had not been "invented". We were raising a family and doing all that that entailed. Jack gave me the space to calm down and get back to our reality. Heaven help me, if I did any of that ranting now. Jack has talked about that time recently. He says that my bottom would be blazing much of the time if I acted that way now.
In those days, hormones played a key role in how I saw the world. Now when things are so much calmer and settled, I am able to lean into this ttwd life knowing that the peace begins with me. Yes, I occasionally "flip out" and the consequences are applied to my bottom, but for the most part, I have learned in a big way to think about what I say and the way I say it. I want peace in Jack's valley and I like sitting comfortably. Yes, the hormones are under control, and so is the way things go around here.