Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Introducing A Guest Blogger And A New Friend



One of the best parts about being a blogger is meeting new friends right here online. Rosie has been commenting on blogs for while and those comments were great. Then she made the jump and emailed me. We have been friends ever since and she is our guest blogger this month. 

Rosie lives across the pond. She and her husband are living in a ttwd marriage. I asked her to share her story and she said yes. I think you will find her story interesting. 

Welcome, Rosie. Let's get started. 

When did you and your husband meet?

We first met at a party when I was 15 and he was 17. We took an instant dislike to each other. I thought he was arrogant and he thought I was stuck up. My impression of him was confirmed a few months later, when I was in a coffee bar we "mods" frequented at the time. I saw Harry come through the door. He was wearing a parka and aviator shades with amber lenses. Had I liked him, I would probably have thought he looked cool, but, as it was, I thought he was showing off. He had to pass the table I was sitting at to get to his pals so, being polite, I said "hello" to him as he drew near. He paused, lowered the shades and said, "Do I know you?" I snapped back, "Evidently not, " and turned back to my friends. 





Our paths crossed from time to time and eventually, our antipathy dissolved. We finally got together when I was 17 and he was 19. He sometimes lowers his glasses and asks if he knows me, just for fun

When did you discover ttwd and how does it work for you?

We never actively set out to a ttwd couple. Like quite a few ladies in Blogland, I think I was wired as a spanko from birth. I first asked Harry to spank me when I was 18, but it was against both his nature and the conditioning of society. Many years later, his mind was opened to the possibility that spanking could be fun, by a combination of the "50 Shades" phenomenon and Sheldon spanking Amy. We are big fans of "The Big Bang Theory". 

We only ever intended to spank in a sexual context, but as well as giving our love life a fillip and making us feel even closer, it changed us in other ways. I was happier because a part of me that I'd had to keep locked away for 43 years was being fulfilled and, almost imperceptively, Harry became more assertive. 

I had been reading blogs for some time by then and learned a thing or two along the way. For example, Harry's not the tidiest of people and I used to nag him about leaving his clothes in a heap on a chair, putting shirts in the laundry bin without removing the collar stiffeners, and other little things like that. I decided to stop sweating the small stuff and found that I benefitted by not getting cross about it and, of course, it was much nicer for Harry to have a calm wife instead of a grouchy one. 



A post of Stormy's inspired a ritual that was an immediate hit with Harry. I work from home and when he came back from work each evening, he would call out "Hi" and I would call back from wherever I was in the house. Following Stormy's lead, I went to greet Harry at the door one evening, giving him a hug and a kiss and telling him how glad I was that he was home. By the third evening, Harry was so delighted with this welcome, he said he was making it a rule. I told him there was no need; it was there to stay. We have a lot of fun with it. 





Great oaks from little acorns grow and, just as slowly, so did ttwd. My light bulb moment came after I was first spanked for 'real', which leads me neatly to the next question. 


Take us through a time when you were spanked and why did that happen? 

In nearly three years, there have been a lot of spankings. So I'll tell you about the first 'real' one - you might find it amusing. I am not a morning person at the best of times, but one particular day, I woke up in a filthy mood. Harry remarked that I must have got out of bed on the wrong side, to which I made a sharp reply. He said, quite mildly, that he hoped I'd be in a better mood after my second cup of coffee, but that turned out to be wishful thinking. 




   

I was unloading the washing machine when I heard him calling me  from the sitting room. That really irritated me; if he wanted to speak with me, why could he not come to me? I marched off to spit some tacks his way, but was brought up short by the sight of him sitting on the sofa with a cushion on his lap and a paddle in his hand. I'd only ever been spanked in the bedroom before, usually over pillows. When he patted the cushion and said, " Come here and let me help you improve your mood",  my immediate thought was "Oh, no! I am getting an attitude adjustment!" Knowing I deserved it, I went over his lap without any protest. He hitched up my tunic, leaving my leggings in place, and started off with his hand. I tried to keep still and quiet as this was discipline, but once he started using the paddle harder than I was used to, I could not hold out. My cries of 'owww' and 'ouch' gave way to apologies for being grumpy and pleas to stop. Afterwards, with a chastened wife snuggled in his arms, he said he didn't know what happened there, but he liked the results. 

So, what was funny about that? Attitude adjustment never crossed Harry's mind. How could it? He had never read any blogs. He had simply thought that as spanking made me happy, he would try to lift my mood with a fun session. He spanked harder not to punish, but to compensate for the leggings and knickers that were protecting my bottom from the paddle. As for me, I had been reading the tales of Blogland's sassy ladies and the consequences of their disrespect, making me jump to the conclusion that I was about to share their fate. 

There was no turning back. Harry said I'd always been a handful and now he had a way of dealing with it. He had no intention of letting it go. I had always thought my desire to be spanked was purely sexual, but that day, I realised it satisfied my primitive need to know my mate is stronger than I am. Harry has become adept at fulfilling that need. 



Although we still spank for exotic fun, most spanking nowadays is of the pre-emptive or RA/reminder kind. Nothing sets my world to rights quite like a reset OTK. We also discovered that spanking could relieve stress, cure a mild headache, help with sleep and remedy that 'out of sorts' feeling. Who knew? 

What are the benefits in giving up control and do you lean in to what your man wants?


Hmmm, tricky one this. We have been together 46 years and have worked together as a team, dividing responsibilities according to our particular skills. We have never had significant control issues, usually being on the same page when joint decisions were made. Usually. Not always. On the rare occasions, we clashed. Harry's will prevailed and yes, I could be a bit of a handful then- guilty as charged. 

I still retain control of the areas I've always managed. My background is in finance so I handle all our financial affairs. Harry has no expertise in that area, nor does he wish to take over responsibility for our tax affairs or the myriad items of household administration I deal with. I have always consulted him on big decisions. No change needed there. 

Some changes have crept up on us though. I've mentioned already that Harry has become more assertive over time and things have changed in our day-to-day life. There have been many instances. I'll just give you a couple of examples. I was up late one night reading a gripping book. Harry told me to go to bed as the next day was going to be very busy and I would need all the sleep I could get. 



 I didn't take kindly to being told when to go to bed. I am not a  child, and carried on reading. A couple of chapters later, I was given an ultimatum to get upstairs or I'd get a spanking. I didn't move. I was spanked.

Just recently I have been unwell with blinding headaches, which I have found enormously frustrating. One afternoon Harry told me to take a nap and I demurred. Not so long ago he would have cajoled me into going, but this time, I got 'the look' and a firm "That wasn't a suggestion." I went. 

The subtle shift in our dynamic is another reminder that my man is stronger than I am and, on the whole, I do lean into what he wants. The benefits are manifold. To name just a few....... we are closer and happier than we have ever been; we communicate better; we have always been tactile, but even more so now; we have better and more frequent sex, can't leave that one out! 

What are the challenges?

I have always been an 'in charge' kind of girl, possibly because I am the eldest of four siblings. I am a leader, not a follower, and have spent much of my working life managing other people. Those are not the best credentials for a submissive wife, but then I'm not all that submissive anyway. I prefer to think of myself as co-operating with my husband for our mutual benefit. 

Harry has expressed regret at refusing to spank me for so many years, but I'm not sorry. I think it came to us at the right stage in our lives. We know who we are and what we want our future to look like. I'm pretty certain it wouldn't have worked when we were younger. 

Our version of ttwd doesn't include punishment. I am not bound with a plethora of rules, though we have a few of what Harry calls 'standing orders'. As these all revolve around my wellbeing,  I have no trouble obeying them - well, not now anyway. There were a few issues with my mobile phone at the beginning. 

I can't say that we've faced any real challenges. Ttwd evolved almost by itself, enhancing an already happy marriage. That doesn't mean we've got it all sewn up, far from it, and Harry throws the occasional curveball to keep me on my toes.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love reading how ttwd begins and how a couple views the benefits of ttwd in their long time marriage. 

Thank you, Rosie, for sharing your story. Readers, make comments below and Rosie has agreed to make replies below your comments. 

We hope Rosie will agree to return to guest blog another time. Plese give her a warm welcome.




Thanks, L. 

Meredith






35 comments:

  1. Rosie,
    I'm so happy to get to know you here. So many of us have similar stories. I've always found it very comforting to finally realize that there are so many of us. It seems that your way of bringing TTWD into your lives has worked very well for the both of you.

    I write New Beginnings and I'd be happy to have you come by any time.

    Meredith, thanks for having Rosie here. I enjoyed reading her answers very much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind words PK. I was sure no-one would be interested in my story, so it's good to know you enjoyed reading it.

      Though you may not recognise my name now that I've finally got around to signing up to a Google ID, I am no stranger to your blog. I'll be sure to visit for Fantasy Friday tomorrow and will give you a wave from across the pond.

      Delete
  2. Rosie.. I really enjoyed and appreciated your openess and honesty about how ttwd is working for you. Much I can relate to as well. This is a nice way to get to know new people with similar issues. Meredith is a great mentor for anyone contimplating or already involved in this dynamic. I have been away from blogging for about 6 mths but have plans to resume. I look forward to hearing more about you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Annabelle,

      When Harry landed those first tentative smacks, I never dreamed it would lead to a difference in our dynamic. As for sharing my story with like-minded people, well I'd have thought that as likely as flying to the moon!

      I will look out for your blog when you restart it.

      Delete
  3. Hi Rosie, welcome :) I really enjoyed reading this and learning a little about you and your husband and how ttwd has evolved and developed for you. I very much look forward to hearing more from you :)

    Thank you so much Meredith for hosting Rosie :)

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Roz,
      I'm glad you liked reading my story. I have visited your blog several times as a lurker, so I know a little about you and Rick too. Best wishes to you both.

      Delete
  4. Thanks for sharing your story, Rosie. One of the things I really love about TTWD is that we tailor it to our relationships/personalities. It looks differently for everyone even though we all use the same basics. Hope to see you share more.

    Thanks for introducing Rosie and sharing your blog with her.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cat, thank you so much for your comment. For a long time, I didn't consider us to be a ttwd couple because it just crept up on us, rather than being an active choice. I now know each couple follows their own path and there is no one-size-fits-all.
      I haven't commented on your blog for a while, I'll try to do better now I have a proper ID.

      Delete
  5. Awesome story, Rosie. Thank you for sharing. Thanks, Meredith.
    SSB

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you liked the story SSB. I wasn't sure about sharing but Meredith made it easier for me by asking the questions.

      Delete
  6. Hi Rosie, I really enjoyed getting to know you better! I loved the evolution of your dynamic. It goes to prove how none of us are the same and need not compare!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Minelle, I love the way our dynamic evolved too, though it was the last thing I expected. No, don't compare, we're all so different! I like reading about you and your Scotsman, I hope you are both well.

      Delete
  7. Thanks for sharing your story Rosie. I believe you've commented on my blog before, but it's nice learning more about you. Your beginnings with your husband sound very similar to mine except that we were about ten years older than you. The rest sounds very familiar except for the fact that Ray is not a spanker by nature. It is something I am always lamenting about - happy that isn't your case. Hope you visit again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Leigh,
      Yes, I have commented on your blog a few times, I enjoy your Monday stories. I have some of your books on my Kindle and, what's more, I've even read them.

      Harry is not a spanker by nature either. He found a lifetime as a spank-no hard to overcome but he enjoys it now because it makes me happy.

      See you Monday for your Aimless Ramblings.

      Delete
  8. Hi Rosie, I guess we're both on the same side of the pond. Your spanko from birth is very familiar for me, and like many, my husband has come to enjoy it too. I also get relief from certain headaches from spanking!
    Hope to see you about again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi DF,
      Yes, we're both on the same side of the pond; me in rural Oxfordshire and, if I remember rightly from our brief exchange on Lurkers' Day, you in the industrial north west. As we've found, spanking can relieve quite a few symptoms. Maybe it should be on prescription...

      Delete
  9. Welcome, Rosie. I loved reading your story. It is a bit amazing to me how many of our stories have so much in common. But then there are all the personal and unique turns as ttwd comes to life.

    You are a wonderful writer, and it was such a pleasure getting to know you better.

    Ella

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Ella,
      I agree, it is pretty amazing. As Cat said, we all use the same basics but in our own individual ways. One of the things that strikes me (oops, I could use a better phrase) is that many of us are, shall we say, mature in age. I'm sure I'd have enjoyed being spanked when I was younger, had Harry been willing then, but I'm equally sure the dynamic wouldn't have suited us then.

      Thank you for your kind comment on my writing, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

      Delete
  10. Rosie hello to you. I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing a little about yourself and your husband. It seems that TTWD has worked so well for the both of you.

    Thanks Meredith.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Ronnie. I wavered over doing it but Meredith was very supportive and made it easy for me.

      I don't know why ttwd works but I'm very glad it does.

      Delete
  11. Hi Rosie, I am so glad you wrote this, I love talking to you and hope that one day we can meet for real as we are not ocean's apart. Harry sounds lovely, we are lucky to be living this life!
    love Jan,xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Jan,
      Harry is lovely, I can say that without bias because my mother loves him, as do all the dogs and children he meets. Oh, wait! Maybe that's because they respond to his firm but fair approach, I never thought of that.

      I value our friendship too, meeting up is on my wish list.

      Delete
  12. Meredith,

    Thank you so much for hosting me today. It was just as much fun as you said it would be.

    Rosie

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hello Rosie
    A good read, honest and real.
    I can understand wanting to know he is stronger than you, that's the way I feel.
    Thank you Meredith

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you liked the post Janey. I have to confess that I lurk on your blog but I promise to leave a comment next time I visit.

      Delete
  14. So interesting! Thank you for sharing. I am learning so much from everyone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Deena
      Blogland is a great place for learning. The great thing is that everyone does things differently, there's no rigid formula. We can pick and choose what suits us best. I'm glad you found my story interesting, I really didn't think anyone would.

      Delete
  15. Rosie, It was so great to read about your ttwd life. It's so interesting how ttwd developed so naturally for you and Harry. I guess timing is everything because it sounds like it was meant to be. Thanks for sharing.
    Another great post Meredith!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Laurel,
      Harry was such a confirmed spank-no, I never thought spanking of any kind would come into my life. Better late than never!
      I'm glad you liked reading about us.

      Delete
  16. Thank you for sharing your story Rosie. It is so interesting to see how other couples handle TTWD. Do you have a blog as yet, would love to read it if you do. I write DOWNUNDER DREAMING, so pop in some time and say Hi.
    Thanks Meredith for hosting and introducing us to Rosie.
    Hugs Lindy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Lindy, now you make me feel guilty. I've been reading your blog for a while without commenting. I promise to mend my ways! I don't have a blog but Meredith and two other friends are encouraging me to start one. We'll see...

      Delete
  17. Hi Rosie very pleased to meet you, great read I can relate to so much of what you said. I would love to talk to both you and Jan, being on this side of the pond. Harry sounds great. Anna xx

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hello Anna,
    There are several bloggers this side of the pond. I don't have a blog but you can be sure of a warm welcome from Jan on her blog, an English Rose. Yes, Harry is great, I am very lucky - and so is he! We are a good match.

    ReplyDelete
  19. thank-you Meredith and Rosie. I really enjoyed hearing your story, Rosie. Thank-you for sharing. Hugs

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thanks Terps, I'm glad you enjoyed my story,

    ReplyDelete