Tuesday, December 8, 2015

The Sandwich Spanking

We all know what this is! A turkey and tomato sandwich, lots of lettuce on fresh whole wheat bread, a light touch of mayo and it is heaven! 

When we began ttwd, almost two and  a half years ago, Jack had a spanking he called the sandwich! So long ago now, I found this photo and title in my drafts this morning. I have 37 drafts, many complete with photos from L or Jack. These drafts have little if any writing.......... true works in progress. So when I came across this photo and title, I just plain stopped. 

This delicious looking sandwich is a real visual reminder of the way things used to be here when we were just beginning. So for the readers who are just beginning, I will share what a sandwich spanking is at our house. We have not lived through one of these in awhile, but then it can always happen. Right? 

Long, long ago, I fought when I needed to give up control. In theory, the ttwd wife gives consent, surrenders control and leans into her husband. In reality, this control thing is hard to give up if you and your husband have lived more of an equal marriage like we did. I so wanted to be a submissive wife, but the reality of making that happen meant plenty of spankings. 

A big part of ttwd, in fact the main part of ttwd, is communication. Talk about talking! So much talking about what works and what doesn't and how Jack wanted things to be now that he was in charge. So talking went hand in hand with the spanking. Pun intended here!

I wanted my side heard. I wanted a voice about what had happened. Jack often felt that I was trying to talk him out of spanking. I really do not think I was. I just wanted to be heard. He would say things like, "Oh, Mere, I will hear you". You know that is not what I meant.  I got busy and wrote to other bloggers about talking before a spanking. Some of those bloggers are present here in blogland and some are long gone. I thanked them for advice and took what they said to Jack. He listened and asked if I was trying to direct my spankings. 

So he created the sandwich spanking. Ugh! Those fresh looking pieces of bread in that photo represent the TWO spankings and the lettuce, turkey and tomato represent the talk. He said that he spanks first, then we talk and then he does his "finishing up". 

These days that kind of spanking happens infrequently. Thank goodness! The problem with that kind of spanking, the sandwich, is that I am usually so settled and, yes, sore, after that kind of spanking, that all I want is his arms around me, no talking needed. However, way back then, I demanded to be heard. He just said that it would be happening his way and to come to him. 


One less draft and a little heads up to all those just starting out. That is the way things happen at our house.


Meredith

10 comments:

  1. Mere,,, I'm glad that you can and are helping other ladies with their starting out in this ife.

    L.

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  2. LOL Mere...you have come a long way haven't you. You really are heard but your communication style as changed. ;)

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

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  3. It worked though....I think it is great that both of you worked hard to practice TTWD your way!

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  4. Hi Meredith, well it must have worked as those sorts of spankings are not so common now are they?
    love Jan,xx

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  5. Hi Meredith, glad the sandwich spanking isn't around too much these days. You both seem to work hard at this and give great advice.
    Hugs Lindy

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  6. Hi Meredith, this kind of spanking sounds like a mixed blessing. I am with you on being heard, in some situations this matters a lot.

    hugs

    Nina

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  7. Mmmmm! This so reminds me of some wise advice I received recently. Imagine that!

    Ella

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  8. Yikes. As a very new newbie I'm thinking "what am I thinking, asking for this?" We are nowhere close to a sandwich though. We are barely one bun! Lol! I just love reading these. It helps me visualize where we can go. We are communicating though! And that communication often starts with, "Meredith says..." :) Thank you for sharing!

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  9. I don't usually get the sandwich....I get the whole thing at once! Lecture and a spanking!! I think a sandwich spanking would really be hard for me to swallow. Heh heh.

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