I have said it before. We communicate a whole lot more than spank. Thank the Lord! Talking is so much easier than spanking. Right? Although sometimes here at Jack and Meredith's home, the talking and the spanking occur at the very same time.
Recently readers have written to ask advice. I do not hold any answers. The only thing I can say is that there is way more talking than spanking going on at my house. Since beginning ttwd, we have learned to talk, really talk. We listen to one another. I continue to work on listening without interrupting. That will always be a work in progress.
Someone at the very beginning told me that these men are not mind readers. We have to tell them what we need and what we want. Those early talks seem so long ago now. As we first talked, Jack began to articulate what he wanted: peace. I talked about what I wanted: a husband who led and I promised to follow................ most of the time. We worked hard together to get things right for us.
Now when someone new writes to me, I write back advising to talk to the one you love. In the beginning, Jack and I did a lot of our talking in the car with eyes forward. We still do those car talks. Car talks always felt like the safe way to explore the new roles we were assuming. Sometimes I was nervous and sometimes Jack did all the talking. Sometimes it was my turn to talk. I remember one time we drove around talking because we were making headway and felt good about the content of our discussion.
When you begin ttwd, you are not following another couple's plan. You and your husband are charting your own ttwd plan. You are building a way to have peace and harmony. Any plan worthy of success needs careful discussion. Again, it is the talking that makes the difference.
Let me know if you agree with me.