Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Resetting Our TTWD Jack's Way



Now witness what happened at our house yesterday afternoon. For some reason, we had an argument like we used to have in our pre-ttwd days. Raising voices, interrupting, not listening...........  then cold silences! We were each guilty. We were each frustrated. We each huffed and puffed and both of us were grouchy. Both of us became silent going into our own corners to sulk. Then we came together. It was over. We talked things out. We came to a decision that we each liked and accepted. We apologized to one another and all was well. We agreed that we had each acted like we did in our pre-ttwd days. We were somewhat taken aback at how swiftly old habits surfaced when we considered ourselves pretty successful with our ttwd. After all, we have been doing this for two years.

We worked together fixing dinner and cleaning up. Dinner was on the late side and the evening twilight was beginning. I asked Jack if he wanted to sit in the garden or watch a little TV. He turned to look at me and said that we had something to take care of upstairs first. Those words at our house mean just one thing. No, wait! I said we were both involved in that argument. He said yes, we were, but we would need a reset to get back on track. No, wait, I said. I get spanked and what happens to you? He said gently that he would be doing the spanking and I would be receiving the spanking.

So upstairs we went..... a grumbling Meredith and a determined Jack. I was still in disbelief. We had apologized and were in agreement with our decision. Why a spanking? Wait, I say! He calmly begins undressing me and says that after that argument, he was doing a reset to get us back on track. He takes the leather paddle from the drawer and I am flummoxed. How can this be? We
were both in the heat of things and now my bottom was what was going to be heating up.

Jack could tell I wanted more talk before things happened. He stood me between his legs saying that a reset spanking focuses on our roles. I am submitting and following and he is leading and ....... yes, that's right, spanking! We need to get back to our ttwd life and this was the way we would do it. Who is going to spank you, I say. He told me that he is doing the spanking.

So over I went and after a warm up, he paddled me telling me we were back in step. It was a whopper and I was close to tears. He held me and said things work so well when we are on track. He said that  I may feel this is unfair, but it is the way things work best in ttwd. He said he wants things smooth and if it takes a spanking to get there, then so be it. He did all this talking with the paddle in his hand just in case there were other claims that things were unfair.

I have thought about what happened all day today. Really, I have thought about little else. Things are back to smooth. The feeling of things being unfair are gone. My bottom is still sore and I received an email from Ami Starsong. It seems the same kind of thing happened at her house. She wrote a post about it. Make sure you read it. She told me in the natural way of things, the reset accomplished just what our men intended.

What do you think? I am still just plain thinking.

Meredith

19 comments:

  1. Goodness Meredith. I would have been protesting too given both of you were involved. However, while you may not see it, Jack did what he felt was necessary to clear the slate, re-establish roles. I know you paid a heavier price and I am not saying it is easy or necessarily fair. But... Jack is the leader in your home and likes his peace and contentment just as you do. I am sure he already questioned his role and what he could or should have done differently before he decided to clear the slate. These times can be challenging at best. You know where to reach me.

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  2. Mere,,,I can't say yes or no,,,because I'm not living the lifestyle,but I can say,,,( I fell sorry for your poor bottom ) and you must trust your husband.,,but that is easy for me to say.

    L.

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  3. So sorry for your bottom, Meredith. I did read Ami's post, too. I think it means if it is your fault, you get spanked. If it is Jack's fault, you get spanked. If it is both your faults, you still get spanked. I am wondering if this full retirement thing is exactly what I want.
    You need a hug,
    Ella

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  4. Hey Mere...It wasn't a punishment or discipline spanking...it was a reset with both of you accepting your roles...you as the spankee and Jack as the spanker. That's the way Matthew saw it also. Hope you bum is feeling better.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

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  5. HI Meredith, I think things would have gone a little differently here. If the argument was both our faults I would not have had a spanking like that but he maybe would have given me a fun one to reconnect rather than a reset. It does seem slightly on the unfair side although we have only heard your side........lol
    love Jan,xx

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  6. Hi Meredith, I'm sorry you went through this, old habits do crop up from time to time. When both are involved I think the important thing is that both parties acknowledge their actions, which you did.

    It doesn't always seem fair, but as Cat said, it wasn't punishment or discipline. It was to reaffirm both of your roles and get back on track. It's funny, we have had similar moments where Rick decided not to spank given we both played a part and I almost wished he had, to get us back on track. Then again, I'm not sure how I would have reacted if he had lol

    Hugs
    Roz

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  7. Oh my dear Meredith! I am still guffawing loudly every time I think about you and I both getting a leathering! Literally! (So wish I knew how to add a very smiley face here!) But I bet you, too, are feeling much better now. Just goes to show...

    Hugs
    Ami

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  8. Hi Meredith, I fully get you on this feeling unfair and I think we have all been there. Both of you have had a part in this, and you have talked things through. So, basically this could have been over and done with. However Jack thought that a reset spanking was needed. Maybe this was just the right thing to do. I don't know if it works like that for you, but I know it works like that for us. Strange as it sounds, role-affirmation or reset spankings create a lot of peace and harmony for us and I feel relieved afterwards. Things are smooth again for you, so maybe one reason for that has been the spanking. Anyways, I do get you on these mixed feelings and I am glad that this storm is over again, spanking included.

    hugs

    Nina

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  9. Hi Meredith, this is what it is all about, no it's not fair but sometimes it is just what is needed to get back on track. It can be hard to establish your roles again without reset. But it's what works for you two that counts. There will be times when you think hang on a minute.......

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  10. I tend to agree with Ella: it seems that spanking is the answer for everything! In this case you both acted out and apologized, so i would think talking and spending time together that evening would have been peaceful too. I could also see the Hoh restating his dominance by perhaps a hand spanking or the paddle, but not enough to bring you to tears. Then of course, follow up with good bedroom time. I guess because we don't quite live the lifestyle, my opinion isn't based on experience, but I really don't see how the Hoh is accountable for his actions here.

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  11. Fairness is not always a part of ttwd but we continue to do it because the benefits far override the need to be fair and Jack knows this. Sometimes it just happens. I'm glad things are smooth again.
    xo

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  12. I get this, Meredith! We've been just starting the same over here. My HOH feels it's important to re-establish those roles at those times. I understand your struggle, when it was something you both handled poorly, yet you're the one ending up OTK. I think we'll get more used to it as time goes on, and it will get easier to see it as RA and not disciplinary. I truly think they intend it as RA...but just after an argumentative situation, where both were at fault, it's difficult to get into the mindset! Love ya! ~ Jennifer

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  13. Not fun! Not fair! And yet it did the trick. Funny how this thing we do works.
    I'm very sorry for both of you to have gone there again. Certainly not what you expected. I feel like too often we get too close to the slippery slope of going back to those old ways. Tawdry does work, but there's no guarantee that we humans won't slip up again.
    I'm so glad that things are back to smooth for you two lovebirds.
    Hugs,
    SSB

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  14. Tawdry? Don't you just love auto-correct? Let's try ttwd. There - that stayed!
    Hugs!
    SSB

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    Replies
    1. Lol! I wondered about the Tawdry! Giggling here!

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  15. I'm glad you guys settled things. I think about that aspect of TTWD sometimes. But the reality is if we want them to take ownership of TTWD then it has to be their decision. You trust him and have a great relationship. Now if it was completely out of line, I am sure you would have made your feelings known. Even in my relationship....as unstructured as our dynamic is... He often spanks when I think there isn't a reason and doesn't when I think he should! Lol crazy. But it keeps us connected!

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  16. It's nice to know that even couples who have been in ttwd for a while need a reset. It's amazing how quickly things can go backwards if they are not dealt with in a timely manner. Glad to know Jack is on top of it for both of you.

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  17. My bottom hurts for you but this post hurt my heart more. I know it is what we signed up for but it doesn't seem fair.

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