Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Jacks Wants The Jumbo Size

All my life, I have had a hard time with patience. If the truth be told, I do not have much if any patience. I find waiting very hard. Christmas, birthdays, upcoming events, vacations, anticipated gifts both to be received and given........... and the list goes on. As I have gotten older, I have become a bit better. Although Jack doesn't see it that way.

Waiting for a big talk with Jack when he is upset with me.......... that is hard too because I do not like wondering the final outcome! I want to get it over with now. When I was a kid, and my sister and I  went to the dentist together, I always wanted to be the first one to go in to get it over with.

I just plain do not like waiting. Traffic drives me nuts, Long grocery store lines too. Nine months of pregnancy was hard, but harder still was waiting for Jack's return from deployments. When the safety of loved ones is in question, patience goes right out the window in my book.

The good part about waiting is good anticipation. That is something I can do much easier now, but it is still waiting and patience is required.

I have had plenty of practice waiting. No matter how much practice time I get, I still am awful at the waiting. Enter ttwd. One of the reasons Jack takes to ttwd so well is that he finds he has a handle of helping me with patience. He thinks I need to develop more.

A very close vanilla friend practices mindfulness. The art of being in the moment and only the moment has helped her sleep and repair her broken spirit. Blogging, emailing and texting cause lots of distractions for me. The adult attention span was nine seconds long, but has been revised to seven seconds. How do I fit patience into those numbers?

Where can I get the help I need? Maybe from my readers............. You often have the best ideas.
My readers offer real help.. How do you practice patience, the waiting? I feel like I am sharing a big topic here and want some discussion with you on the ways you practice patience. Please share.

Thanks, L.



  1. Mere,,believe it or not ,,what has helped me, is sending you sayings and or photos on ptience. I too need help in this area.When I am about to lose patience with someone or something,,what I have sent you come to my mind and it does help,,


  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. Reposting at Merediths request.

      Well Mere,
      This may be a bit harsh but here it goes. I was able to become a patient person when I realized what impatience is. Let me explain. 
      The thought process a person uses when they are being impatient is selfish. The thoughts revolve around them, the impatient person. Let me give you a few examples. When an occasion is coming up to give someone a gift and you got them something that you know is perfect. You get all excited to give it to them, you can't wait. You know they will LOVE it. You want to see the excitement on their face and hear the words of gratitude, you just can't wait!!! Now if they open the gift and do not express the gratitude you thought they should you are then hurt. Your thoughts revolved around you. You may have been excited to purchase the perfect gift for so and so but your impatience grew as your need for acknowledgement grew. Your impatience came from your own wants and needs. No thought is given to if the person receiving the gift wanted to know about it early, if you are telling them about it because you just can't keep it a secret. No thought was given to the possibility that the person may like surprises. No thought was given to the possibility that the person just might not get as excited as you. All of your emotion is invested in fulfilling your need of acknowledgement. 

      Once I learned to focus on the wants and needs of others, it got easier. Maybe this is not you, but it was me at one time. 

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. Meredith,

      My life has always be full of "hurry up and wait" so I learned I either had to master the craft of patience or I would go insane.


  4. Mere,,I don't want you to be discouraged,,your nothing like comment 2 says. I think your very high energy person,,on the go,,ready to do whatever. You want to get things done and hate it when something stands in your way.Just hang in there,,you will do better,.


  5. Not sure I would call myself impatient, but I can get annoyed waiting in line or when stuck in traffic. I also can relate to your "Just get it over with" attitude.
    My advice - try to do something useful/you like. Example from today - long grocery lines. I went to the line next to the magazines so I could skim the titles (I also thought that line would be quicker, but some credit card problem in my line and the other line won...). Or observe people - also fun. Play something on your smartphone. Pray. Go to the list of things you have to do that day. Think of what you can do for others, daydream.. As for gift giving - you just have to wait, I'm afraid.
    Not sure any of this was of help.

  6. Interesting stuff, this patience thing, Meredith. :) I think that it is okay to feel joyful when you are doing something for someone else. It makes them feel good and that gives one a satisfaction of giving, bringing joy to others. So I think that it all depends on how you look at it. Often it can be the case that there is tons to get done and not much time to do it all in- long lines, slow traffic, all of that interferes with forward progress and that is enough to make one impatient. I think that we can all be impatient at times. I try to think of the saying, "Good things come to those who wait" at times, and it is helpful. We live in a world where instant gratification abounds, so when things are slowed down a little, they are often noticed and perhaps looked at as annoying. We are all guilty of it to some extent I am guessing...

    That attention span thing... well, call it hormones but as I reached the other side of menopause it got short! Rob and his leader like ways, as well as spanky hands can get me nicely (or sometimes not that in a spanky moment) back on track! I am sure that Jack does a fine job with the same! ;) Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

  7. Meredith,
    I don't consider it impatience when I'm looking forward to a special event or holiday. I think that's part of the anticipation and excitement of what's coming and it makes the event that more special.

    I'm with you on the traffic and slow drivers who won't get out of the way. I also hate waiting a long time in the doctor's office. I've learned to plan for long waits by bringing magazines I never have time to read with me. I always keep them in my car just in case I find myself waiting for someone I'm picking up or if I have some down time I'm not expecting, like getting a tire fixed.

    I think we all have things we get inpatient about. A trigger for me is screaming, uncontrollable children in stores!

    For what it's worth, I've appreciated your patience with me and my many questions when trying to work out ttwd. You never made me feel like I was bothering you or I was too much trouble.


  8. Patience is relative to what you need to be patience about,traffic no problem I can do nothing about that so no point in getting bothered about it. Elderly person slowly crossing street no problem, young person being a complete fool using their phone when driving well just say patience disappears, so it is not just a selfish emotion. Just ask yourself is this worth the rise in my blood pressure, you will be surprised how many times you will decide it is not.

  9. Mere, I can't add more than what has already been said. Is there a fine line between impatience and excitement? While I agree with Alice, to a point, I don't think it is necessarily selfish to want to do something (or get them the perfect gift) for someone. You are thinking of them and doing something for them. Their gratuitous reaction is just a bonus. I especially feel this way of the service or gift is given when no one else is around to pat you on the back, or done anonymously. Does that make sense?
    Try to keep busy so you don't think of it as often.
    Have a countdown chart.

    Good luck!

  10. Yikes! I'm not the one to be answering this call for help. I struggle with it too. A friend of mine told me to be careful what I ask for if praying for patience. You'd think I would've learned by now as we have had our share of waiting.
    Mere, if you do find a heaping helping of patience, I beg you...please share it!!

  11. This is great! I feel like I have an enormous amount of patience when teaching. Very little bothers me. However I have little patience when I over extend myself. I think it's like when you are late to an occasion and everyone seems as if they are thwarting your ability to get there! I try and take a deep breath and recognize what is important in that moment. Sometimes it works.... Other times not so much.
    My Scotsman may end up getting the short end of my patience because I know I can trust he will always have me! It's as if I expect him to understand my stress. Not always smart! Lol

  12. Okay Mere...here goes...In my opinion, impatience and worry go hand in hand. being impatient to isn't going to cause you get somewhere or have something happen faster...it will simply rob you of your peace of mind and cause you to not enjoy the moment.

    Here's a few suggestions:
    If you are going somewhere and start feeling impatient about getting there, remember that impatience actually causes more accidents...take a deep breath and just relax.
    If you are impatient for something to happen, just try to focus on something else...don't sit and wait...get busy doing something.

    Hope these help. Also sending lots of positive energy your way. ;)

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

  13. Hi Meredith, in some of the situations you describe it is so perfectly normal to be impatient, maybe it is more like being excited, though. I love the idea of giving presents (receiving too), they are fun activities and I also enjoy seeing someone’s reaction then. This is a very satisfying experience, plain fun. I mean, all the effort that went into it adds to the anticipation, so, maybe this is part of the event?
    When your husband was away, possibly in dangerous situations, I’d say it is perfectly normal to fear for him and being impatient might just be one way of showing how much sorrow there is in these moments. So, I do understand that impatience is a problem for you, but you have become better all in all. When you need help in that area, Jack is there with ttwd. And it seems to help you, if I got that right. I have had hubby’s help the same way too, and this has definitely worked its magic for me. Besides, I think Katie has a wonderful way of explaining part of the problem with instant gratification. It does cause trouble and sort of adds to making us impatient.
    The best/worst I could say about queuing is that I have used my mobile while waiting, either reading, texting or listening to music and that made everything much easier to cope with for me. However, I have no real way out of impatience that always works, but what sometimes helps, is close your eyes, breathe, try to relax, focus on yourself for a short while. I know, it might sound silly, but it helps me in some moments.



  14. Well, I'm going to go ahead and say that this is going to be a life long struggle. It depends too, impatience can come from excitement or worry, but life has definitely schooled me in the "hurry up and wait" game! I try to stop and think and ask myself "am I being impatient and getting all worked up" That helps sometimes, other times DD helps lol. Good luck, I know it's a hard issue.


  15. Meredith,
    I do think we have to consciously choose to be patient. It's like any other quality we want to possess, happiness, graciousness etc. we choose every day to be a certain way, make being more patient your new mantra!

  16. Hi Meredith, I'm glad you posted this as patience is something I struggle with too. I don't know what I can add to the great comments above.


  17. So many good ideas! I also have this problem, especially driving. In fact, it's our Number One Rule, and Sam asks me about my driving every time I walk in the door.

    Strategies That Have Helped -
    1. Audio Books - I become wrapped up the story. I even have The Surrendered Wife on audio. Keeps me centered.

    2. Memorize a Favorite Song or Poem - Just finished learning all the words to "Remember When," a favorite song of yours and mine, Mere. I have just started on the Lady of Shallot. Very long poem!

    3. Smile - Force yourself to do this as soon as traffic gets sticky. It is very difficult to stay pissed off with a big smile on your face.

    I don't worry about anticipating. I know I am still like a kid in that way, but it is usually something that makes me happy, not grouchy or impatient.

  18. Hi Meredith, I think that it is a nature thing. Some people are always impatient and some have endless amounts of patience. Not sure if you can really change, just be conscious of trying I suppose. I agree with some of the other comments though. Sometimes you are describing situations that I would class more as excitement or anticipation. At the end of the day we are what we are and no amount of spanking can alter that!!
    love Jan,xx

  19. Hi Mere, I'm with Katie and Megan and their thoughts. Patience is not one of my virtues, that's for sure. When I know I'm going into a situation that will demand patience I try to think about how I will handle it ahead of time. That seems to help. Patience while driving is a hard one for me. Those days that everyone slow seems to get in your way? I always try to think that God is slowing me down for a reason. Perhaps if I was where I wanted to be I could get into an accident. That always seems to slow me down and give me a moment to be thankful.

  20. I had a terrible time with patience. To be on time is to be late. I feel like people who are late do not respect that your time is valuable. Even though is still follow this, I do not complain about others being late after my 4 year old said to me, "Mom, I hate waiting. It's making me mad." It was time to keep my impatience in a box...sealed.