Thursday, May 7, 2015

Are You Showing Me Your Submission?

This ttwd is sometimes hard and sometimes easy. For us, we have really changed the way we live. We put each other first. We are generous with one another. Jack is patient, kind and easy going. He does want my submission. He wants my words kind and my attitude in keeping with his expectations. 

Things go along smooth and easy. Then my attitude sours and my mood becomes sullen. Jack isn't happy and he gives me a warning to get back on track. I struggle sometimes because I want to please him and be submissive. At those times, he asks me, "Are you showing me your submission?".

I search for the day to day ways I can be submissive. When Jack leaves and when he comes home, I meet him as he comes in the door. Rather than just calling out a good-bye or hello, I go to him. He has noticed this and has complimented me. We act with more politeness. We genuinely like one another much more as we make our way down this ttwd path. Approaching a second anniversary, he opens the doors and holds chairs. He makes me laugh. 

Yes, I have developed one not so good habit .......... mumbling under my breath when something is not to my liking. He does not hear me and I fuss when he asks me to repeat my words. This habit is quickly becoming a spankable one. I am trying to catch myself before we get that far. I will keep you posted. 

My passenger seat driving advice is still a point of annoyance to Jack. I always want to leave for where we are going far too early to counter the horrible traffic we will encounter. Easy going Jack does not like that at all. I am working on it, but feel still that my two cents are worth something. Jack usually counters with the knowledge that my advice is worth a sore bottom. 

The ways to be submissive are right there in my day. Sometimes I do these things automatically and sometimes, I miss them completely. I am learning. 

The big one, the stumbling block, to my submission is still my interrupting. It is very hard not to do and I always stumble. I know it does reflect disrespect and shows the listener that my voice is more important. Couple that voice with some sass and some yelling and a spanking is almost a guarantee. I have learned that I do interrupt and I am trying to do less of it. Am I making progress? I really am afraid to even ask Jack his opinion on that subject. 

My phone, like yours, is a most useful and fun tool. However my phone has caused me to be spanked! Jack is fine with texting and checking phone messages, but not when he is talking to me. Lesson learned, bottom sore. Phones are trouble sometimes. We have all been there. 

I wear the lacy lingerie Jack loves even though it ends up on the floor. I wear the colors he likes and dress the way he says makes me look good. He is my best fashion consultant. He is generous with my shopping adventures and I try to please him.

I would like to collect your ideas on the way you show your submission. Yes, we submit to spankings and submit to loving making at the times when we could let it go. I know those things and do them with grace. I want to hear from you on how you show submission. Comment away! 



  1. Loved this thought provoking post. For us in nearly two years, my submission has looked different at various times as I have learned to make necessary changes. The first one I can absolutely remember is last May when I do respected Sir at work. The night and days that followed were painful. I decided myself that I would respond or ask with "sir". When I do so it immediately brings my mind and attention into alignment whether I am happy or not. It reminds me to think before I speak, watch my tone, and to be respectful when voicing my thoughts. The second one is simple. I fill his water bottle every night now and place it at the bedside. I now do it in the morning since I leave for work before he is up.I have been giving thought to greeting him at the door as I did in years past. I do make sure to go to him and kiss him goodbye each morning and thank him for loving me. While there are many types of spankings in our house, I am sure to thank him for knowing when to deliver and how they help me to include those that are meant to deliver a message. Those are hard for him, and while I may be upset..I now thank him for caring enough to correct the behavior. Choosing to be submissive is a "gift" I work on willingly providing him with that gift.

  2. We don't have as many spankable offenses as you write about, but there are definitely some things that annoy my husband. In the past I would often set up social activities for the weekends without his input. Sometimes my husband had other ideas or just wanted a quiet night. I made a mental rule for myself not to accept an invitation or plan something without discussing it first. Even though we don't go out as much as I might like, he's happy with the change and the evenings usually are pleasant together. I make an effort to keep his favorite foods in the house and pack him lunch for certain outings. One big thing I haven't mastered is not complaining when he only hears a bit of something I've told him or doesn't remember it at all. I hope I can improve on this soon!

  3. Mere, as you know, there are no spankings over here. :( But I do still try to submit. I've actually been having a problem submitting "happily " for lack of a better word. I find myself doing things that I know will make him happy and show my submission but I'm not doing it with a glad heart sometimes. And that makes me sad. I need to get my head in the right place but more than that I think it's time for another DD talk.
    As for showing my submission? I try in different ways. Finances have been turned over. I ask before making purchases. I tell him ahead of time what I believe I will need for the upcoming week. And he has been very kind with what I can get that's not on our weekly list...letting me get a few things for myself since I always buy for the kids. Although I think he would say I need to not be so relentless when I'm pushing for something for the kids lol. I try paying attention to things he feels are important and things that I know will lift him up as HoH. I'm still working on my submission and what exactly I can do to show it.

  4. Lovely and honest post Mere. Seems to me you are trying to do the submissive acts Jack enjoys...just keep in mind how much you not only love him but like actually helps your attitude. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

  5. Hi Meredith, we don't talk about submission much over here. I think though that always, and before ttwd we have aimed to please each other. I do as many things for him as I can and he reciprocates always. It is pretty harmonious here. Maybe he is more placid than Jack but there are very few spankings for everyday occurrences. I find myself "behaving" because I want to, I think he gets a bit fed up with me fussing over him but he is getting used to having such a clingy wife! My spankings are generally for fun or trumped up excuses! He often says he wishes I was naughty as he would like a real reason to spank!
    love Jan,xx

  6. Meredith,

    When I read this post, I couldn't believe how many of the same things I struggle with that you do. Murmuring is a big one for me that I haven't mastered yet. I've just leaned to murmur quieter. I still struggle with interrupting! That's a big one for me too!

    I do show my submission by greeting Gabe at the door with a kiss and hug. If I don't, he knows right away I'm not where I should be. I also try to buy him something that he likes when I'm shopping. The other way that I show submission is reporting my weight to him everyday. I've asked him to hold me accountable in this area. The hardest one for me is asking him permission before I buy something. I'm the kind of shopping wife that used to hide things that I bought in the closet. Gabe is very generous so I don't know why I did this, but I did. I've found myself texting him from a store asking if it's ok to buy something. He hardly ever says no. The bottom line is that I had to learn to trust him, even when I'm shopping! Trust is the ultimate submissive gift I can give him!


  7. Meredith -
    What a beautiful post. I do not understand why being submissive makes me feel so happy, but it truly does. I love to do things in the kitchen for Sam. He really enjoys homemade bread, and it makes me feel all domestic and content to do that for him. I keep his little mug of Goldfish crackers filled by his computer and always have his coffee made by the time he gets up.

    Since we started ttwd I always ask him before I spend money on something for myself. He usually says yes, but sometimes, if he thinks it is frivolous, he will tell me "no" for right now. He will tell me if it is something I still want next week, then I may go ahead.

    The one way that I show submissiveness that Sam seems to appreciate the most, is to be that way when we are with others. I don't always remember to do this, but it is a lot more frequent than ever before. I will sit next to him and perhaps touch his knee or put my hand on top of his. I smile when he is speaking and give him my full attention. That is easy for me to do when we are alone, but much harder when we are with family or friends.


  8. DH and I talked about this the other day, and about how hard it is for me to be submissive when I don't feel his presence, for example when he is more at work than here. Because I want to feel like I want to submit to him, but can't if he is not quite worthy of it at that point.

  9. This is a wonderful post and very helpful!

  10. Happy Anniversary, Meredith and Jack! What a sweet post, along with a hot picture.
    The ways I have found that show submission are: keeping my tone sweet and my body language calm when I am stressed, listening without interrupting (not just verbally but in body language), going to him quickly when he calls my name, using my time well so that I am not stressed (my phone doesn't get me in trouble, but my computer and iPad do), being ready to leave on time, going to bed when he goes to bed, choosing my words carefully, having a positive attitude, communicating my feelings and not leaving him guessing, and doing what I say I'm going to do.
    It's good to be a ttwd wife. Thank you, Mere and Jack, for sharing the journey.

  11. Hi Meredith, what a great post! I love how you describe what you do for Jack, how you show your submissive side. I think this is similar to what I try here and especially when it comes to interrupting, I am not always good at it (but have become better). I think we have become closer due to ttwd and wouldn't want to miss any of it.



  12. Ahhh Meredith!! To show our submission. It isn't all that easy all the time, is it? I sure do know that.

    I love the things that you do to show your submission to Jack! It is great to please our fellas! For me lately, the challenge is to just do the things that he asks, without hesitation. It's hard. And I am not all that good at it! LOL! It is all worth the hard work. That I have concluded! It's the LOVE thing, right? Wouldn't trade it for the world! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie