Saturday, December 6, 2014

Putting Myself In Jack's Shoes

A dear and wise blogland friend gave me some eye opening advice. She told me to put myself in Jack's shoes and imagine what he sees and thinks about how he deals with me. Wow......... I have been thinking about nothing else............ Jack's shoes, my feet, his point of view.

Yes, he gets the best and only view of my backside being spanked. I do not like to think about being in his shoes at that precise time. I am not talking about that view of things.

I am referring to the Hoh role here. His role centers on responsibility and decision making.  What does my Hoh have to deal with? So while on a walk, I asked him that question and told him I wanted to do a post on that subject.......... putting myself in his shoes.......... how do things work from his standpoint? I thought Jack would not have too much to say. Wrong! He talked about that very subject the entire two mile walk.

He talked about his expectations for us and for me. He expects many things especially a positive attitude and abundant respect. He expects kindness and the application always of the golden rule. He wants active listening with no interrupting. and polite manners extended to all. He wants arguments to remain respectful and be short in duration. He wants his wife less intense and not as feisty. He wants to see and feel her letting go of control. He wants our evenings laptop free and phone put away. He wants safety and protection for his home and wife. He wants his wife to speak kindly of others and there is to be no gossip. He wants to see patience from his wife. That, my friends, is the impossible one. He wants decisions he has made accepted without negative comments. He likes the way I step back letting him lead. Opening doors is a great example of the small ways in practice. He wants submission in the small ways and a helpmate in the big ways.

Jack wants me submitting to spanking when he makes the call. That is done when these expectations are not met. He is pleased with the way I have changed for the better, learning to lean in and accept my role. He understands that this is not always easy, but he wants me to honor his expectations.

So if I am to step into his big shoes, those are huge things to fill! If I were the Hoh, I would spank the daylights out of Meredith. Jack says that it is a fine balance to know just what and when and how to act as an Hoh. He weighs and measures things before he decides.  He thinks about what course of action to take and he takes his responsibility seriously. He says he is most pleased when his wife steps back, and then leans in. He says she knows well that the other choice available is to lean over.

I thought about the way I had acted a few days ago. He did not spank, but I was not at my best. Instead of spanking, he brought me to our talking spot. We talked about what was wrong and why I was so ornery. He told me he would give me a small amount of time to cut the distancing or there would be no distance between his paddle and my bottom. He was giving me a reprieve to get my act together. He talked about the way I like to please him. I left our talking spot and gave myself a time out. I came back to Jack ready to be his helpmate in a positive way. No spanking!

From his big shoes vantage point, he wants more patience and less interrupting. He wants me,  in other words,  to lean in and wear a cute skirt or lean over for some talk with his paddle. I can do this!

Later that evening, I received a delicious gg spanking and all was well in our world. I want to thank the dear friend who reminded me to consider what my Hoh has to put up with maintaining peace and harmony in our home. Jack is the steady, even one and I am the feisty one trying hard to put myself in his shoes. Meredith can be a handful, but she is so worth it.



  1. What a beautiful post Mere! You did a lovely job of putting yourself into Jack's shoes...big ones with lots of responsibility aren't they. You have a very wise man there and his expectations are not unreasonable. I do believe you are doing well in reaching them and will continue to improve. So very proud of both of you.

    Hugs and Blessings...

  2. Mere,,good and sweet post,,: - )


  3. Nice thoughts. I had a punishment of being HoH for a week. (no spanking, but making the decisions) It IS harder than we think. I was glad to take the HoH hat off at the end of the week. Nice way to review it all and sit back and appreciate.

  4. I like the "leaning in or leaning over" There is great responsibility in both roles. Nicely said

  5. Lovely post Meredith, it's great to hear the perspective from the 'other side'. I think you are doing a great job in working towards those goals. Love the leaning in ir over too.


  6. Nice post, Meredith! :) "He wants submission in the small ways and a helpmate in the big ways." I like that line especially. Little things are important in the big picture. Good thing to keep in mind.

    Sounds like you have been doing some great thinking. Hope that your listening is going well. Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

  7. Nice post Meredith, some of our Hohs have a really hard job if you think about it!!
    love Jan,xx

  8. Mere,
    I have to say again that I just love the sayings that Jack comes up with! "Quit the distancing or there'll be no distance between my paddle and your bottom"! :D

    I love how you two always talk - he's very invested in you - and how you are BOTH working at this wonderful new time in your marriage.
    Congratulations on the gg spanking too!

  9. Wise advice indeed! I think I will do just that. Thanks, Meredith!!


  10. Great post Mere! It's a good reminder of how hard their jobs really are. Love the connection between the two of you!


  11. It is very interesting to hear what our HOHs really want from us.

    Some time ago I decided to experiment. I agreed to everything Dan said. No arguing, no disrespect no 'anything'. In the end he asked me what was wrong - I wasn't myself and he wanted 'me' back. I told him I was being submissive. 'But you are not being natural' he said. 'I need you to be in a solid supportive role. All you are being is a 'yes man'. That is not being submissive. It is being highly irritating.'

    It's a fine line we have to walk. I think, I know, it is different for all of us. Whilst our men don't want someone who is continually disagreeing with them, behaving in an antagonising way, being rude and childish, they do need someone who can discuss topics on their level and put good arguments forward when it comes to problems or points under debate.

    I had to giggle, however, when I read what Jack expects from you. I think, myself, you are great as you are and that you are a gem! He is a lucky man! If you changed completely, you would not be the woman he married. He would soon get bored with Miss Meek and Mild.

    I suppose the sensible thing to apply change to is to ensure we all remain the feisty little forces to be reckoned with - but to act in a happy, pleasant, teasing, loving fashion. Not be old termagants!

    I certainly know that since I retired my job at home is just as difficult as when I was working, and Dan's life is a lot easier - he gets to eat more for a start! LOL!

    He does like the 51% principle, though, Meredith. Funny that!

    As for the GG spankings - I could do with ten times as many! They are sooooo delicious!

    Be good


  12. Great post! Interesting way to put it...lean in or lean over. ;)