A dear and wise blogland friend gave me some eye opening advice. She told me to put myself in Jack's shoes and imagine what he sees and thinks about how he deals with me. Wow......... I have been thinking about nothing else............ Jack's shoes, my feet, his point of view.
Yes, he gets the best and only view of my backside being spanked. I do not like to think about being in his shoes at that precise time. I am not talking about that view of things.
I am referring to the Hoh role here. His role centers on responsibility and decision making. What does my Hoh have to deal with? So while on a walk, I asked him that question and told him I wanted to do a post on that subject.......... putting myself in his shoes.......... how do things work from his standpoint? I thought Jack would not have too much to say. Wrong! He talked about that very subject the entire two mile walk.
He talked about his expectations for us and for me. He expects many things especially a positive attitude and abundant respect. He expects kindness and the application always of the golden rule. He wants active listening with no interrupting. and polite manners extended to all. He wants arguments to remain respectful and be short in duration. He wants his wife less intense and not as feisty. He wants to see and feel her letting go of control. He wants our evenings laptop free and phone put away. He wants safety and protection for his home and wife. He wants his wife to speak kindly of others and there is to be no gossip. He wants to see patience from his wife. That, my friends, is the impossible one. He wants decisions he has made accepted without negative comments. He likes the way I step back letting him lead. Opening doors is a great example of the small ways in practice. He wants submission in the small ways and a helpmate in the big ways.
Jack wants me submitting to spanking when he makes the call. That is done when these expectations are not met. He is pleased with the way I have changed for the better, learning to lean in and accept my role. He understands that this is not always easy, but he wants me to honor his expectations.
So if I am to step into his big shoes, those are huge things to fill! If I were the Hoh, I would spank the daylights out of Meredith. Jack says that it is a fine balance to know just what and when and how to act as an Hoh. He weighs and measures things before he decides. He thinks about what course of action to take and he takes his responsibility seriously. He says he is most pleased when his wife steps back, and then leans in. He says she knows well that the other choice available is to lean over.
I thought about the way I had acted a few days ago. He did not spank, but I was not at my best. Instead of spanking, he brought me to our talking spot. We talked about what was wrong and why I was so ornery. He told me he would give me a small amount of time to cut the distancing or there would be no distance between his paddle and my bottom. He was giving me a reprieve to get my act together. He talked about the way I like to please him. I left our talking spot and gave myself a time out. I came back to Jack ready to be his helpmate in a positive way. No spanking!
From his big shoes vantage point, he wants more patience and less interrupting. He wants me, in other words, to lean in and wear a cute skirt or lean over for some talk with his paddle. I can do this!
Later that evening, I received a delicious gg spanking and all was well in our world. I want to thank the dear friend who reminded me to consider what my Hoh has to put up with maintaining peace and harmony in our home. Jack is the steady, even one and I am the feisty one trying hard to put myself in his shoes. Meredith can be a handful, but she is so worth it.