Thursday, December 4, 2014

Just Like At Katie's House

I have a pretty camisole and tap pants just like these and when I wear them, my bottom is no more safe than hers. Jack spanks and then moves on to other things that come to his mind!

Have you read Katie's post over at This Whole Thing? She and her Rob are handling many things right now. Listening and respect seem to be two of those things that keep coming up in their relationship.  I will wait while you read it and we will continue when you come back. It seems we both have the same problem. Listening actively is what each of our Hohs want. We are doing many things that are anything but listening. Here is what happens here.

When Jack and I talk about the ways for me to practice my submission, he puts listening right at the top of his list and he thinks it should be right at the top of mine as well. He wants me looking at him when he is speaking. He wants no interruptions at all and I find that very hard to do. When he is speaking to me, he does not want me using my phone or laptop. He calls it extreme disrespect to use those things when he is talking. Have I interrupted, daydreamed while he is talking, focused on everything but what he is saying, read texts while he is speaking, continued on my laptop when he wants my full attention?................... Of course I have done those things and when I have done those things more than a couple of times, he spanks. We do not have written rules. Our ttwd centers really on attitude and respect. When he feels that a "course correction" on these matters are due, no cute camisole will save my bottom. No way!

I had a terrible habit of walking away from Jack before we began ttwd/dd. I walked away many times. Maybe the walking away was only in my head, but I wasn't listening or paying any attention to Jack............... in airports, at Target, at family gatherings, in grocery stores, in the car and here at home. Jack did not like it and we did not know how to turn around that behavior. Enter ttwd/dd and there was a way! Boy howdy! Right after we began, Jack focused on extinguishing that very behavior. Once I was upset and walked away from Jack. I was in the kitchen ranting about whatever I was so upset about. I never looked up to see Jack as he stood at the base of the stairs with the paddle already in his hand pointing the way upstairs. Yes, he spanked and we talked afterward about respect. I really needed time to work on what he wanted. He wanted my full attention when he was speaking: no laptop, no phone, no busy doing whatever! That was our goal and I would be expected to meet that goal.  I stumble often. If I am sincere here, the way to really show my submission is to master this goal immediately.

I am really trying to focus on being respectful when in conversation with my husband and for the most part, I am doing well. But sometimes I am excited or want to share without any regard for his point of view. Sometimes I am in the middle of answering an email and keep going while I nod my head as he talks as if I am agreeing with what he is saying. In fact, I have no idea what he is saying because I haven't listened at all. Sometimes there is a silence hanging in the air, and I know he must have asked me a question because I can feel his eyes on me and I have no idea what he has just said. Not real good news for me!

So Katie, let's both work on this and report back. Supporting one another is wise. No more drifting minds as husbands talk. Active listening is sure better and does demonstrate our submission. Right?



  1. Mere,,that would be very hard for me also,, : )


  2. LOVED the post, Meredith! :) And you have a deal! I am already trying harder AND I have had a spank-free day so far! Let's see how it goes from here!

    "Sometimes I am in the middle of answering an email and keep going while I nod my head as he talks as if I am agreeing with what he is saying. In fact, I have no idea what he is saying because I haven't listened at all. Sometimes there is a silence hanging in the air, and I know he must have asked me a question because I can feel his eyes on me and I have no idea what he has just said." I am VERY VERY guilty of this kind of thing and Rob does not like it AT ALL! Not good!

    We are lucky! After all these years we have fellas that can reel us in with a spanking, even though we are not so crazy about it all at the time. Let's do this! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

    1. I also struggle with this issue. I think it is partly that multi-tasking is wired into us. No excuses, but...

  3. This is my biggest struggle. I laughed my way through the post because I can relate to it so much. I have such an issue with being an active listener, and I really don't mean to be disrespectful, but my mind just wanders or I think about 20 things at once. I know it comes across as disrespectful, but I still seem to look back at my computer or walk off when he's talking! I completely understand because so many times I have no idea what he's said, and I feel so bad! It's definitely something I'm working on, and something he's paying close attention to. Good Luck to you and Katie, I know it's a hard habit to break!


  4. I find I do this too...! It doesn't make me proud, but it happens, and when I am aggravated even more-so. I like the goal you and Katie are working on!

  5. I know I do this too, but Ray is a talker and I've caught the gist long before he's finished. On the other hand, if I am in the middle of something I think it would be rude of Ray to expect my full attention, I always try to wait until he is finished with something before I start to speak.

    Hoping you two get better at it than me. I think I'm a lost cause.

  6. I seem to be following Sunny around blogland tonight saying...I agree with Sunny! LOL She made a very good point...if you are in the middle of doing something, then Jack should treat you with courtesy and ask if you are at a stopping point so that he can speak with you. He should treat you as he wants you to treat him. ;) I'm sure you two will work this out.

    Hugs and Blessings...

  7. Active Listening - love that term Mere. This is a thought provoking post as it makes me stop and think if I'm doing that with hubby as much as I should. Well, and my kids too. :)

  8. Hi Meredith, I think it is the other way round here lol. i am always saying he isn't listening to me. Mind you I do whitter on so the poor man has probably switched off for a rest!
    love Jan,xx

  9. Active listening is so important. Though in our relationship it is usually reversed and he is the one not paying attention to what I am saying. However, certainly, I am not immune to being distracted myself and am working on being more mindful of fully listening with purpose to whomever is sharing with me. A great reminder of being respectful and caring listeners. thanks

  10. "Ah yes," she says nodding her head sagely. Ha! Attitude and respect - these are the two little things that get me spanked more often than any other. I wonder why it is we keep falling into the same hole time and time again?

    Thankfully this has been a good week attitude-wise. Snigger! But pride goes before a fall and I expect I shall be back to my normal disagreeable self before too long, and then paying the consequences.

    Many hugs

  11. Great post Meredith, I know I have problems with this too and this is something I wm trying 5o work on also. I think Sunny has a good point too.