When we have time, we love to take a shower together. Jack said it is a great way to converse water. We were in the bathroom after the shower and Jack was doing the talking. He told me to stay put while he finished making his point. I wrapped my towel around me and leaned against the counter.
He talked about how Christmas gifts would be handled this year. He knows I usually do all the shopping and with some family far away, I often make my purchases on line. However he said that this year would be different. We wanted all gifts purchased on line sent to our house despite the fact that retailers offered free shipping to those receiving the gifts. He wanted the gifts wrapped by us and sent to family. He knows that it requires extra postage, but he wants the gifts wrapped by the people doing the giving.
I listened and did a bit of squirming. I disagreed with Jack. I told him that the retailers offered free shipping. Some offered free gift wrapping. No, he said. Our gifts would be wrapped by us and we would pay the postage. He wanted it done his way. I nodded my head and said we would do it his way. He told me he was pleased that I agreed with him.
Now we step away from the story. You need a little information. Before we began our ttwd/dd journey, this little shower time talk would have ended in a full blown argument. I would have told him that his idea was ridiculous and expensive. A year ago, when we were well on our way down the ttwd/dd path, this talk would have ended in an argument and probably a spanking. Then we would be doing it Jack's way anyway and my bottom would be stinging.
After dressing, I had another cup of coffee. I sat thinking about what had just happened. I had agreed to do what Jack wanted even though it would cost more money. We would do it his way. I guess I really surprised myself. I let go of my control and my need to control. I leaned into what Jack wanted.
And no one was spanked!
It is amazing what can happen on this path we are taking. He leads and I follow. We discuss and tweak the decision sometimes. He listens to me and often amends his decision. He requires me to lean in to what he expects and we have peace. Sometimes I do stumble, but for the most part, we are off to a smooth holiday season. And no one was spanked.