Wednesday, September 17, 2014

The Wolf At My Door


I hear the knocking. The door knob rattles. I hear the wolf breathing on the other side of the door. I am now in a different place since the last time the wolf was at our door. I became so spun up in the family drama. I wasn't sleeping. I was angry and upset. And I was spanked. The peace in our home was gone and Jack had had enough. 

The wolf is back at our door. However, I am in a much better place this time. I lean into Jack and feel his strength.

We are in the kitchen and he is preparing dinner as I am making a salad. We are talking about the family situation........... the wolf at the door. He tells me to listen as he begins to tell me how things will go with this wolf at our door. I watch him. He is standing very straight. His confidence and assurance are evident. It is as if he is wearing his Hoh mantle. He wears his cloak so well that I smile and my eyes become teary. He pulls me close and tells me we will be fine. He tells me that he knows that this is hard for me, but he will guide me as I lean in. I surrender and submit to his words.

Usually surrender and submitting are words used in connection with spanking. Not this time! This time I feel the emotions of surrender and submitting right there in the kitchen. Surrender and submitting are not easy, but I surrender and submit to Jack's words. It is what Jack expects of me when that wolf is beating at the door. I learn to lean in and receive his protection and security in a situation that threatens the peace in our home. 

Ttwd/dd has made a big difference in our marriage. The roles we have each accepted continue to agree with us. We meet the occasional bump in the road and spankings do infrequently occur. Far more important is what has evolved. Jack is the Hoh making the big decisions after seeking my input. I am the supportive wife following. He is generous and loving and I am respectful. We are just plain happier and in love after all these years. Ttwd/dd works so well for us. I am surprised that so little of ttwd/dd involves discipline spanking. We enjoy gg and RA spankings, but discipline spankings are few and far between. Ttwd/dd is about so much more. We are keeping the wolf at bay.

Thanks, L.



  1. Yes! you got it Mere! Surrender and submission do not always involve spanking! I am so very proud of you and Jack! Sending positive energy with that wolf at your door.

    Hugs and Blessings...

  2. Simply lovely Mere. I definitely have a big sweet smile on my face after reading this. I bet Jack does too. ♥

  3. Meredith... How far you and Jack have come. Not that it has always been easy and I am sure often painful for you, but the lessons have been learned. The best times are when you see his strength and protection in adressing the day to day issues that can consume you and set you up to fail. He is forever present to handle the tough issues if you allow him to. This is when you realize the necessity to have one leader and how important and meaningful it is for you to follow.

  4. "TTWD is about so much more..." It certainly is. :) I love the dynamic you have with Jack. You can feel the love just by reading your words.

  5. I cannot believe that you are writing about something that is happening over here at the moment, and your responses (both yours and Jack's) are virtually the same as ours. It is uncanny. I never thought about it as a 'wolf at the door' ; more as large waves that keep crashing in and rocking our boat. Same thing though. Don't you just love the calm reassurances we get from our men? It all feels so good. Makes me smile a lot.

    However, I am inclined to have the occasional meltdown. I can't help it sometimes. Then Dan, like Jack, is there to help me keep my equilibrium with a 'reassurance spanking' and lots of calm talk.

    Such an insightful post, Meredith. Just lovely.


  6. MERE,,THIS IS LOVELY,,,you and Jack are so sweet together.


  7. This is such a lovely post Meredith. I love that Jack took charge and reassured you. You are right, surrender is about more than just spanking.


  8. M, thank you for the reminder that the wolf need not disturb the peace, and that the HoH's authority is not always about spankings.

    I look forward to the gg and RA becoming more the norm here too.


  9. Loved this post Meredith! :) I completely agree- spanking is a great tool, but it isn't what this is really all about. I loved how you simply surrendered and submitted. Beautiful!

    Sometimes it is easy to lose one's self in a moment. I had a bit of that last night. A sentence, or a look, or a single word can bring us right back in to them, and remind us of what is important. Love reading here! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

  10. So timely for us. We are weathering our own family storm here. Thanks for the reminder.

  11. I love that last saying, it's what I always say.
    Glad things are so terrrific for you both, you've worked hard to get there. Family situations can shatter the peace if you allow them in.

  12. I love the last two sayings. glad you are there for each other to weather anything...

  13. I loved the last paragraph, what a great testament to your marriage and how ttwd/dd is working. What's better than being happier and more in love!!
    Glad you're leaning into him, family issues are the worst...too much emotion and cuts right to the heart. Glad you have each other to hold onto.


  14. Pull people into your peace. Isn"t that a great thought?