Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Problems Seem Bigger Than They Actually Are




Family........... Grrrrrrrr! I love them and they love me. Getting along is a different story. Sometimes problems come up that are not of my doing. I cannot fix it even though I want to try. My husband stands firm about any more involvement. I have been spanked for involvement before. I have been spanked for meddling before. The peace has been disrupted before. I see the solution so clearly, but I have been told to step back and leave things alone. It is hard to do when things are so obvious to me.

I am listening to my peacekeeper this time. I am breathing deeply. This isn't easy and I feel a little depression seeping in around the edges. Jack is right with me holding me, loving me and, yes, promising me attention to my backside if I do not listen.

When all else fails and I value the ability to sit comfortably, I do the smart thing, Send an email.... no! Make a phone call...... no! Make a drive to the parties involved...... no!

I take a long, hot bath and let the world go by!

How about you? What do you to when the problems seem so big and you can't fix what is wrong?


Meredith

18 comments:

  1. Hey Mere,
    Nothing is more stressful than family! For me, I need to talk it out with hubby or I go around and around in circles! He helps me see things more objectively, and then I go lose myself in a book or a chick flick. So thankful for husbands who keep us from getting ulcers!
    :) Cali

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  2. Did you read my last post? I eat too! Just kidding. Good for you Meredith. I know it is hard to not get involved but how great that Jack is helping you, even if it does include a threat to your backside. ;-)

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  3. I have a tendency to move onto something I can fix. Reorganize the cupboards, redo the labels in the cupboards, reorganize the garage, the closet, clean out the car, bake cookies.........
    I have often thought though, a bathtub in the backyard would help me to just relax. The thought of it, ahhhhhhhh!!!!!
    Let me know if you decide you want to borrow my label machine. ;-)
    Alice K.

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  4. Hey Meredith...depends on if I am upset, hurt or frustrated...sometimes I crank up the music and paint..other times I clean out closets, drawers, cabinets...whatever I can find to clean out...still others, I grab a good book and go soak in the tub...other times, only a long walk will do. Congrats to you for listening to your peacekeeper!

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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  5. I go for a run and contemplate all the things I would like to do and then let it go and figure it will work out for the best, even without my input, :-)

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  6. Hi Meredith, I worry, talk to hubby then go off and read, lose myself in a good book. If all else fails a spanking is great stress relief,
    love Jan,xx

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  7. I used to get involved and found out that I was usually powerless over other people's family dynamics. I now just try to remember to pray for them, and be a soft place to fall. God bless you for your heart that cares, but may He help you not take on that which you can't change. -Belle L.

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  8. I cry...I eat...I read...I write...I dance...I cry some more...I eat...I sleep...I sing with the music up loud... Glad you have support to help you through :-) hugs

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  9. I have learned not to mention it to Ray because then I have to deal with him. Not behind his back but in full sight, I usually send a text. Sometimes I get a response, sometimes not but I feel better and Ray doesn't ask because I suspect he already knows the answer. lol

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  10. Those are not easy choices there, Meredith. It's really hard not to write the e-mail, make the phonecall, or drive there. Thank you, once again, for sharing a sweet rest stop along dd's journey. You inspire me to make better choices and help my peacekeeper to keep the peace.
    SSB

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  11. Yeah, I have to say eating and napping are the ways I handle family stress :) It's so hard to take a step back and not get involved, but Jack is right, it's sometimes the best thing you can do.

    hugs

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  13. Sorry, I messed up my first comment. I find it helps to go work in the garden. Digging in the soil helps me work out some of the bad feelings and it wears me out physically, so I become too tired to worry any more about problems I can't change. I hope this situation rights itself and you find some peace.

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  14. I forgot to say what I do when the problems are so big and I can't fix what is wrong. I just go shopping, and forget about everything else. :-)

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  15. I am like Leah, I eat and eat and eat. But we are what we are. Mothers carry the weight of the world, and then some. It's how we're put together.

    BTW - my bath is nearly the same as that one! LOL!

    Another thought - perhaps Jack is not like this, but Dan has a penchant for putting his foot in it on occasion, where family is concerned, and then he passes the problems on to me to deal with. Maybe I ought to tell him to just spank first, as you can be sure that I end up with one by the time I have put my foot in it even more!

    Hugs
    Ami

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  16. Sounds like your bath choice was a great one Meredith! :) It is very hard when we can't do anything in a family situation. It can certainly bring you down.

    For me, I talk to Rob about how I feel as best that I can. I seek out friends perhaps. I might go run. And I knit!! I've been knitting like crazy lately and it just helps. Nothing too fancy, but you get good gifts for people out of it. Listening to music or reading helps too. I love to read in the tub. Need to do more of that one. Hope that you are feeling much better! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

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  17. The past two years my twin sister and brother have been fighting about the business they are in together. I always side with my twin because I trust her the most. But this time my older sister and I stayed out of it. Think we were better off? Nope. Got nasty emails from my brother adult daughter about how she was. "Divorcing" us all. Patty and I ignored it. Then he smarter brother said Get Involved. Save this Family and pat and I decided. STAY OUT OF IT. Sadly before court mark screwed Karen out of the business. And our family has been ripped apart. Me, I gained 20 lbs and started taking blood pressure pills. And could barely talk to anyone in my family. Happy I live 3000 miles from all of them!!! Not sure Patty and I did the right thing or not.

    Stopped discussing it with Don cause didn't like any of his solutions and we would end up pissy about it. I stressed and tried to divorce myself from all of them. Feel like I will never talk to my brother again for upsetting my fragile twin. She had a severe breakdown this year because of Mark. Oyyy. Family. Can't live with them, can't kill them!!!

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