Monday, March 31, 2014
Submission From My Heart
I have a sitting spot. I sit on Jack's ottoman in front of his chair facing him. What happens there? Sometimes it is a hot seat where I am grilled about lots of things. Jack sits in the chair and I sit in facing him. He talks and I listen. I talk and he listens. He asks the questions and I had better have the answers. We talk over many things using that seating arrangement: plans, itinerary for travel, dinner plans, errands, things going well and things going not so well. My spot can be a welcoming place or a hot seat. I feel comfortable and uncomfortable depending on the circumstances. Jack places both his legs on either side of me. There is no escape. Sometimes I do not want to escape. I am pinned in to receive lots of kisses and cuddles. Sometimes I am pinned in to receive a lecture of the way things need to change and why. This special place has become the spot when we decide important decisions. We do a lot of talking right there.
Sometimes decisions are made right there that please me. Sometimes decisions made there are not so fun. He makes his decisions about spanking right there all calm and wise. I sit right there locked into his leg vise and his gaze and try to breath deeply taking in the decision he has made.
I call this spot my safe place. I feel secure each time Jack makes a decision. Sometimes the decision is not in my favor and I feel the submission in my heart. Sometimes it is hard when Jack says, "Let's go" and he points upstairs. We walk together and he holds my hand. We both know what is going to happen next. After leaving the sitting spot, we each know our place upstairs.
Submission is essential. Even when I have disagreed with his decision, I submit because he is the leader in our family and when we began ttwd/dd, I promised to do so even when it is hard.
Submission from my heart is my gift to Jack. My sitting spot is a safe, sure spot right in front of the man I love.
Do you have a sitting spot? Where is your special place to talk with your HoH?