Saturday, January 4, 2014

We Learn From One Another





I love this drawing. That's me in the middle and that's all of you surrounding me. We all read one another's blogs and comment frequently. We readily give advice and we glean words of wisdom from our reading. Long time bloggers help the new ones get started. New bloggers begin fresh and eager. When one blogger is having difficulty, we circle the wagons offering help and serving up links that might help. Bloggers go "behind the blog" to privately seek and offer advice. We readily give our email addresses so private conversations may occur. One blogger you all know helped me get started. She was kind, knowledgeable and funny. Now she is a good friend. Another blogger is just venturing out and we email one another .................... a young blogger and a long time married blogger becoming friends! Yesterday we talked about how it seems like we are falling in love with our husbands all over again! Isn't that the way it is suppose to be?

Sweet Jan at English Rose titled her post "A Spanking Can't Fix Everything". Comments were made fast and furious. Now I really want to add my two cents worth. Jan and I are at the older end of the age scale. We both have been married forever to the same wonderful men. Marriage is a funny thing. What makes one marriage work and another fail? At our age. marriages often crumble or husbands and wives lead separate lives. Her point is well made ............ a spanking cannot fix everything.  A marriage must have good bones of trust and respect first. Spanking will not ever save a marriage or make one whole again.

To write this post, I had some help from my "sister" blogger. She reminded me that it seems that the older bloggers help the younger ones. We all certainly can't call our mothers or sisters. When we need advice or a sympathetic ear, we bloggers rely on one another.

The older bloggers enjoy the nest emptying and the sweetness of privacy. The young bloggers enjoy the joy of little ones and have the heartfelt responsibility of putting off a spanking until the house is quiet with sleeping babes.

If you read the comments made to Jan, you will smile. She tells each blogger that she is offering support, a sense of humor, her wisdom. She offers a cup of tea and her listening ear. That is what the older bloggers offer everyday. I spent time emailing bloggers and commenters alike as they search how to navigate ttwd/dd.

When Jack and I have hit bumps in the ttwd/dd road, the young bloggers are right there to tell me that bumps are to be expected, even welcomed. These bloggers soothe me. When they have a rough time, they seek the older bloggers who are in long time marriages. It works........ sister to sister, sister to mama and mama to sister. It happens everyday many times over here in blogland. A blogger just the other day told me she really likes the "behind the blog" conversations as we are given more privacy to share and discuss what really matters.

Just look at how differently we all practice ttwd/dd. As different as we are as people and as different as we are in our relationships, so there are many differences in how ttwd/dd looks and works in each of these marriages.

Husbands are so different--- some spank for discipline, others spank for love and fun. While one husband needs time learning, another husband grasps it all rather quickly. Even Jack and I have changed and evolved. We are practicing a much gentler kind of ttwd/dd than when we first began.

And what one is learning and another has mastered is how spankings do something for many of us wives, both sexually and emotionally. How it expresses their masculinity which in turn increases our feelings of femininity.

Jan's post continues to make me smile because it brought us all to the table to talk. I wish I had one of Jan's cups of tea. She talks the truth about the young and old needing one another everyday. Right?

Meredith

A special thank you to Jan and Cali Mom. I love you both!



25 comments:

  1. Such true words you have spoken. We are so lucky to have such wonderful friends in this community.

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  2. Thank you, Sara. I hope everyone will hear what I am trying to say. You are sweet!
    Meredith

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  3. Mere,

    Such a sweet post. I love how much you care about others - you are so good at reaching out and being encouraging to so many of us ALL THE TIME! And still here you are once again, reaffirming your heart for those who are your friends, and those who will be your friends.

    We are so blessed to have each other in this community - to lean on and to turn to as we work to grow and to improve our selves and our relationships. I myself am so thankful that I have found this community - and being a part of the sisterhood - with a couple of wonderful brothers here too! :)

    Thank you for taking the time to echo the thoughts of your friend - and continuing to make sure that we know how much love and support we have here in our little corner of blog land.

    Love and hugs,
    Cali

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    1. As always thank you for your kind words and your help!
      Meredith

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  4. The two of you are absolutely right, dd/ttwd is just a tool. I really think you need to have a solid foundation first. I feel so sorry for couples that think this will solve all their problems, some problems are really just too big, and this requires so much communication and emotions are so intensified. It's really hard even for those who have a solid marriage. I'm so glad I have the support and love from my friends :) I don't know if I could have done this without them. I think we can learn from everyone, young and old, I love how supportive everyone is, especially during the challenging times, which is where I find myself right now, but I know I can always email you for some support ;)

    Hugs!!
    J

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    1. Jennelle.
      We all need one another. I know I need you. Thanks for your comment.
      Meredith

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  5. Great post Meredith. It does take the willingness of everyone to share their journey ups and downs to help others have a better understanding of this lifestyle. Whether young or older, everyone has something of value to offer. It was the friendship and openess and honesty that helped me to venture into this lifestyle and know that I would be supported and not judged. Thanks to you and all of the others who are on this same journey for being willing to share your knowledge.

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  6. This was such a sweet post, and you are right, it is just fascinating to learn a little bit more about how differently couples do it. :) Very sweet.

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  7. This is such a sweet post, Meredith. Really it doesn't matter how another couple does things, we're here to trust that they are following their hearts and need to lend support however we can offer it. Thanks for your kind words and virtual hugs!

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    1. Leah,
      We all need one another's support.
      Meredith

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    2. What a great post, you read my thoughts and wrote them out much better then I ever could have. I probably wouldn't have made it this far if it wasn't for all the wonderful friends in this community!
      Kim

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  8. Hi Meredith, what a great post, thanks for the shout out. I was surprised at the response actually and most people seemed to get what I was trying to say. Your post is lovely, we are all so lucky to have discovered each other
    love Jan.xx

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  9. So beautifully written...I have been trying to find the link for your blog and finally had success through this wonderfully woven web that you speak of - an extended family of sisters supporting one another on each other's journey's...Take care! Hugs, Terpsichore

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  10. Great post. We definitely all need each other. It is amazing how something as simple as a blog comment is so encouraging...it lets you know someone is listening. Hugs!

    And yes, a strong foundation before dd and after is critical....a spanking certainly is not the end all ;) (pun somewhat intended)

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  11. Great post. We are all here for each other. To learn from and lean on one another, to support and offer words of encouragement, to share perspective, to laugh with, share with, love.
    I've said it before, this is an amazing community filled with many wonderful, selfless people. We are fortunate to have each other. :)

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  12. What a lovely post Meredith...we are all here to learn, to teach, to share, to help, to comfort, to console...to just be sisters.

    What a lovely family we have here and yes, Cali and Jan are absolutely awesome ladies. ;)

    Blessings...
    Cat

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  13. Meredith, this post is the essence of the purpose for our blogging community. How alone and crazy did many of us feel before we entered blogland? It's wonderful to know that so many of you consider our blogging networks to be a support system and "extended family" rather than just another social forum. Young, old, newlyweds and veterans of marriage, we all have something to learn and something to contribute. Thank you to all of you ladies and gentlemen who so willingly share this most intimate part of your lives!

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  14. great post mere. i think sometimes when you've been married a long time you can just look at life with a little patience. we're coming up on twenty years married. i'm thrilled about all that's in store for us this year. hugs to you, friend. -m.

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  15. I feel like I fall in the middle of all those people you mentioned... lol. Not newly married, but haven't been married a long time either, no empty nest syndrome, but no children around either... but I think it still balances in with everything. :) We all have things we have learned that we can share with others, and we all have things to learn that we can learn from others. It makes a good mix. Everyone can help, everyone can take in. It's just a beautiful symphony of giving and receiving. :)

    {{{hugs}}} EsMay

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  16. What a lovely, thoughtful post Meredith. Jan is a sweetie - I know her very well! She hit the nail right on the head. Spankings don't solve everything, and the "life experience" of a long marriage is invaluable. Can't believe we are coming up to 37 years! Yet we continue to grow together, and to learn. Who would've thought ten years ago that I would now enjoy being spanked by my husband! When I first happened upon blogs I was horrified about it all. For us, it is still slowly slowly, an opportunity to get to know each other afresh, and to realise just how much we cherish each other.

    Sounds to me that you are doing everything the right way.

    Many hugs
    Ami

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  17. Great post, Meredith, and I loved the photo! We all need each other; it's true. And I'm so very glad to have found all of you :)

    Hugs,
    Sadie

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  18. Interesting. I agree that we all learn from each other. I don't know that I necessarily agree about the age aspect. I am a wife, mother and grandmother but I have learned a whole lot from the younger bloggers about ttwd. I would hate to be judged about an experience I shared because someone else thought it was different from the way they live ttwd or they haven't faced the same struggle. Old or young we come into this having to learn a new way to interact and a deeper way to communicate. We all need to remember that sharing our journey we DO learn and we should we absolutely share honestly with each other but also respectfully.

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  19. "Husbands are so different--- some spank for discipline, others spank for love and fun. While one husband needs time learning, another husband grasps it all rather quickly. Even Jack and I have changed and evolved. We are practicing a much gentler kind of ttwd/dd than when we first began."
    SO ENCOURAGING! I needed to read this.

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