Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Double Standard At My House




I hate to buy gas. Plenty of bloggers are right there with me. I dislike stopping in the middle of my errands to put gas in the car. Annoying and time consuming, indeed. Several bloggers have commented on ignoring the gas gauge as the needle dips to the danger zone. A couple of bloggers have run out of gas completely. As a young bride in a brand new beetle bug, I did run out of gas and thought never again.  Now I have a really fun sports car and its gas gauge beeps when the tank reaches that point that requires a trip to the gas station. I usually ignore the beep, drive home and tell Jack that my car needs gas. I know................ that sounds indulged, spoiled and whatever. 

Sometimes Jack forgets my reminder. So I find myself at the gas pump when I am needing to be on the road, the freeway or on to the mall. The last time this happened,  I filled my gas tank halfway and went merrily on my way. And there is the problem. Halfway does not make Jack happy! I filled it halfway because I was running late. Pumping gas takes time. Right? Jack was very upset with me. He told me if I ever just did that job halfway, I would be spanked. Really? I still do not know what the big deal was. But wait, there is more. 

Now flash forward to just before Thanksgiving travel. I was with Jack when we stopped for gas in his car. He informed me that he was filling the tank halfway as the car would be at the car park for the next ten days while we traveled for Thanksgiving. Halfway, I replied. Really! So you can fill the gas tank halfway, but I must fill the tank completely in my car or get spanked. Why is that?

So right there at the gas station, Jack became all HoHy.  He seldom is that way verbally. He gathered me in his arms and said he would do it his way and I would do it his way. If more directions and reasons were needed, we would be doing both the explaining and the directions up in our bedroom with the paddle. He said again that there was his way and only his way concerning this subject. 

The ride home was very quiet and I uttered one too many sighs and sideways glances. Once home, he spanked me in the garage, me, bare bottomed and he, using his hand. Did he make himself understood? Yes, I said as I got things back in order covering my backside.

But not really!  I still do not understand the double standard here. When I told Jack what this post was about, he puffed his chest and for just a minute, I thought I would be put over his knee. 

What gives with the gas tank half full or to the brim? Actually I am a little weary about bringing it up again as Jack becomes visually HoHy when I do.  Someone needs to help me here. Double standard and a garage spanking!! Help me understand!

Meredith

16 comments:

  1. Meredith,,,,I had a man friend who always told me,,,,Because I said so,,,,men,, you have to just love them

    Leah

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  2. Meredith,

    I'm not entirely sure what Jack was thinking, but I might have a guess. If I happen to be right, maybe it will help you.

    Jack probably has a self-assured trust that he WILL remember to get gas, even if he currently only filled it half full. I'm sure he trusts you, but he might not trust your memory or your "vehicle awareness". This may be in light of the fact you ran out of gas one time due to carelessness, and that he often gets gas FOR you.

    This may be one of those things where he trust his judgement, but not yours. He doesn't want you to get in the habit of filling it half full and then, making him have to get more or possibly even running out again.

    Yes, it's a double standard in a way, but perhaps it's because you are both different and have different knowledge about things. Anyway, that's my guess. Confirm with Jack to be sure. Maybe he wants you to trust his judgement when it comes to vehicle issues.

    As far as the spanking goes, I think it has mostly to do with your "sighs and sideways glances".

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  3. There's no telling what goes on in male minds, it's his rule and that's all that matters.

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  4. 'Do as I say not as I do!'
    I've heard that one before!
    If he's anything like H he thinks he's right and could possibly come up with 101 reasons why he's right, but you will still just see it as double standards like I do. In the end it's just less painful to agree.
    As Foothills pointed out (so kindly) any spanking following is not because you question his judgement (obviously, how could you think that?) but because of the way that you questioned his judgement, your eye rolling or tone of voice or attitude or......
    (You won't win!)

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  5. (( <3 )) The short answer is I don't know...
    The long answer is I don't know...
    And unfortunately as HOH he does get to make up the rules.
    I don't always like or agree with SM but I have agreed to obey
    him.

    love
    sara

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  6. Haha! I totally could have written this post. I hate to fill up the car too, and I only fill it half way. We now have a rule that the gas can not go below 1/2 a tank :)

    HUGS

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  7. Well I guess when we choose this life we choose to follow the rules fair or not. You already know the consequences for not following the rules and arguing your point :( Guess the real question is how many times you will push the issue before accepting his call on this one whatever his reasons are. Psst...give in Meredith! Clara

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  8. So.. what can be said, while there are many things that don't necessarily make sense to us, they make absolutely perfect sense to our partner. If Jack runs out of gas chances are he can well take care of himself and the issue, on the other hand if you run out of gas it is your safety as a woman that he is concerned with and you can't fault him for that. On the other hand this doesn't sound like a new rule, just one you forget on occasion and he is there keeping you in check and safe. My guess is the spankings were due to your response or lack thereof to his concern and so he chose to make his point. Remember it is not for us to question but to accept their decisions even when in the moment they might not make sense.

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  9. My husband likes it filled at the half-way point so he can get a tiny bit better mileage (insert eye roll).

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  10. Maybe he's afraid someone would syphon the gas out of the tank? Maybe he's hoping gas will be cheaper when you guys get back? Is there anything you drive over that would charge your car by the weight? Maybe there is a problem with the gas tank that he hasn't gotten to tell you about yet, like a leak in the seam?

    I'm not really sure... but sometimes, we just have to trust them. That is where real trust comes in, when we follow without all the facts, knowing they're doing their best to do best by us.

    {{{hugs}}} EsMay

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  11. Hey Meredith...Here is my opinion which along with $1 will get you a cheap cup of coffee.

    I don't know enough to about where you are located but it could be one of several things...if you are in a location where the weather is currently hot, he may not want the car to sit in hot weather with a full tank...gas expands in the heat...if you are 'valet' parking it, you don't want to give the attendants any ideas by 'giving' them a full tank of gas...if you are self parking, you don't want to make siphoning easy...then again, it may not be any of these!

    You could respectfully ask why since he did say he was only filling halfway because it was going to be sitting at the car park. I could be wrong but it sounds as if you were spanked for the disrespectful way you spoke to him.

    Bottom line...he's the HoH and you have and you have agreed to trust him and his leadership. ;)

    Hope everything is fine now!

    Blessings...
    Cat

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  12. This is totally something H would do. He would say mine was laziness and that his was a calculated decision based upon circumstances, or something to that effect. It sucks and although it feels like total double standards, sometimes we just need to give in. I'm completely terrible at that though. I try to follow the rules ;)

    Callie

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  13. I didn't read all the comments, so I don't know if anyone else said this.. But I can sorta see the point. (Sorry!!!) I wouldn't fill my car up when leaving it somewhere for fear of the gas being stolen.
    And my car has a theft deterrent, but I've seen it happen to many times.


    I'm guessing I'm one of those bloggers who you're referring to, haha ;)
    Stupid gas!
    Hugs,
    Elle

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  14. Aw, these men of ours. So many times my husband issues a decree or makes a decision that I would have handled a little differently. Unless it's a big issue, like how to raise your kids, I would accept it as par for the course. Imho, there is an element 'of fair' to DD, but it's outweighed by 'complementary'. As in, two very different halves of a whole, each having it's own purpose and rules. Sometimes it's just like that :)

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  15. Hi Meredith, god knows how they think these men of ours. He is wrong though
    love Jan.xx

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  16. I think he just likes being "all HoHy". That's a great word haha!

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