Friday, September 27, 2013
Ttwd On A Country Road In Europe
Jack and I are enjoying the last few days of a European holiday. I have missed blogging and have decided to share my small ttwd/dd victory with all of you.
We stayed away from the big cities this time to enjoy the small little towns in between those big cities. Small hotels were our choice. We were headed into one small town, but had a really long way to go. Traveling here is very different from doing so at home. There are no hotels circling the larger cities. So we were arriving late at night, with no reservations. We were even a little lost and it was now dark. We were hungry and I was very frustrated. Late, hungry, no reservations and one tired couple in a place they did not know. Sound like an argument of blame coming on?
Before beginning ttwd/dd, the "old" Meredith would have raised her voice and blamed Jack for this big mess. The argument would have accelerated into the possible spoiling of our vacation. Things were tense in the car. I watched the clock tick off the minutes and listened to my stomach growl. We were in a strange land and knew we had a bit of a bad situation here.
I thought about how this might play out. Jack was driving in a strange place and needed me to help navigate. I needed to remain calm. I thought about Jack being the boss. He is leading and needs me to follow.i need to trust and support him, not blame and argue. He was taking care of things.
We found a hotel and the hotel people recommended a romantic restaurant nearby. I had remained calm and helpful. I was supportive and polite. While at dinner, Jack spoke about my behavior on the long car ride. He noticed! He saw that I put my frustration aside and did not attack verbally his decision. He kept us safe and we arrived in harmony and did not have an argument or long angry silences.
When in bed next to a sleeping Jack, I thought about what I had done on that car ride. I leaned into Jack and he acknowledged my doing so. He was pleased with me and told me so.
How perfect is that? I know that acting in a agreeable way will not always happen, but it happened this time. I felt different because my actions were calm and supportive. Sweet!