Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Meeting With The Boss After A Long Day of Waiting






Jack and I had four lovely days away on an island in the sound. We stayed at a cottage on the water belonging to friends. We had the cottage to ourselves the first two days. Sleeping late, loving under the covers, delicious breakfasts, beachcombing and late night star gazing ........ all made our time alone really sweet! We spent one afternoon sitting in chairs like these talking about ttwd and really hearing one another. At one point in our conversation, I cried with emotion at the way we really heard one another and how good all this was for our marriage.

Then we hit some bumps. Four times during this time away, I told my husband what to do and what not to do. This happened when we were alone......... in the car, in a grocery store and in a restaurant. He did not like it and told me so. He said I was close to "the edge". I shrugged. He was not pleased with me saying I was not treating him like the boss of our family. He doesn't like my bossiness. He told me that he is the boss and somehow I am unable to be more submissive. Comments I made to him seemed small, but he was very upset. He told me we would deal with it when we got home. Swell!

We arrived home late and I went right to bed. He tucked me in and I thought all was well. He left early the next morning and told me to sleep as he showered and made coffee. Around 6AM, he woke me up walking into the bedroom carrying a cup of frothy coffee in one hand and the paddle in the other. He put the coffee on the night stand and sat down on the bed holding the paddle in his hand. He was calm and spoke quietly. He would be gone until early evening. I was to cancel my evening plans with friends. No discussion and no negotiations. He wanted me home and waiting for his return. There would be a serious spanking and talk. I needed to spend the day getting ready and in a mindset to submit.

I emailed three people who do ttwd and they offered support and concern. I cannot imagine doing ttwd without the three friendships I have made. Each of them reminded me that Jack loved me and to not fight the spanking would show my submission. I had plenty of time to think. I thought about how the four things I said undermined his authority. He is the boss and I need to be mindful of that. Time dragged and I waited.


When he finally came home, I was already crying. He held me and said that we would be going upstairs. He said I had spun myself up all day just thinking about the spanking and what I had said. He said that there would be a spanking, but an easy one.......... no paddle! He said he needed to do what he had promised. Then he knew I needed to calm down. We went upstairs and I went over his knee. He bared my bottom and spanked me with his hand. He held me when it was over. He asked me who the boss is in our family. I immediately answered that he was. He asked if I needed the paddle and I said no. Let's put this behind us and start over, he whispered.


19 comments:

  1. Awww Mere,

    You've come such a long way in just a short time. The love & respect between you and Jack is so clearly shown here - I'm so happy for you.

    ♥ Cali

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    1. I have learned so much. As always thank you for your continuing support.

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  2. He told you what was going to happen and it happened.

    He wants to be the boss and he is communicating with you.

    Life must be good. I bet it is great to have that over and a new clean slate to start again.

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    1. Thank you, Janey! Clean slates are golden.
      Meredith

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  3. Gentle consistency is nice sometimes :) He obviously knew what you needed. He loves you very much!

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    1. Dear friend, thank yo for your kind words.
      Meredith

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  4. I love for you that he knows what to do for you, and for you together, and is not afraid to do it.

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  5. Such a sweet post! Bossiness certainly gets us in trouble sometimes! ;) glad you were able to submit and get things back on track!

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    1. Cole, thank you for your support. I so love your blog!
      Meredith

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  6. Ooh I do hate those waiting times. It does sound though that he was gentle just when you needed it.
    love Jan.xx

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    1. Saturday was the longest day of my life!
      Meredith

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  7. People who know me will be aware that I have difficulty with some of some of the things that I read on the DD 'circuit', since they seem to have far more to do with stress over trying to rigidly 'scheduling' and "correctly" following a "system", than they do with the actual emotional needs of the couple concerned. The result more often than not seems to be that the couple becomes obsessed and stressed out by frantically trying to follow and enforce 'rules' they don't need for no good reason that makes any sense.

    For me this post is the opposite and epitomises what DD should really be about. Not only did your HoH take the time and trouble to explain his feelings about some of your actions, instead of wading in and spanking on principle, he also allowed you the enjoyment of your weekend, and managed to show that he means business while still to tempering the discipline to fit your already remorseful state of mind.

    Great post all around!

    Rosalind

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    1. I thkink being married ahppily for as long as we have makes a big difference in having DD work for us.
      Meredith

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    2. Yes. That has been my observation since I have begun exploring the "circuit." IMO, you and Katie have the most compelling stories simply because they are supported by a long, successful history. Hats off to both of you. Lily PS: And I could not agree more with the first paragraph of Rosalind's response. I have even copied and pasted it into a "good advice/insight" file that I keep. I know I am responding to a very old post that you may never see, but best wishes. Lily

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  8. Awww, I'm glad he followed through and didn't let it go when he saw you were upset when he got home.
    Glad you're able to put it all behind and enjoy the rest of your time. :)

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  9. It's hard to stop being bossy, I know I have a hard time. I'm glad you had a very lovely weekend and happy that he gently took care of you and followed through.
    Kim :)

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  10. Well, it sounds like you got a good one. I hope you remember it!

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  11. Sounds like you gave him a very special gift in not fighting him, and realizing your mistake. {{{HUGS}}} You keep growing, and it's beautiful to see. :)

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