Failed negotiations at the paddle peace talks. I am a frustrated, spanked wife. I can't seem to get this right. About once a week on average, I cross the line breaking our one rule....... respect. I slip back to old ways often in the company of old friends. The influence of these women cause me to revert back to pre-Dd times. I thought I would be doing better, but in fact the only one doing better is Jack, Mr. Always Consist. He is steady and true using the rule to change my behavior for the better. On the other hand, I have a difficult time relinquishing my independence. He is steady and true and I'm just sore and red!
I went out to a friend's home to celebrate a birthday. The group of us are girl friends who have known each other for years. Jack had told me that the evening needed to be cut short because he didn't want me out late. The problem here is that these friends are the same women who gave me support during Jack's deployment. I relied on their friendship and cherished their love. We celebrate birthdays, have wine and spent most of our time laughing. It's a time for us girls to enjoy one another. I knew Jack wanted me home early..... before 11pm. When it was close to 11pm, he began texting me and my friends thought this sweet, then annoying and then hilarious. I turned off my phone and enjoyed the last of the party. I left the party about 11:30pm and drove the short distance home to an unhappy Jack.
We talked. He said I minded the respect rule when it was convenient. I balked saying I was having a good time, close to home and I didn't need a curfew. He said that was not the way he saw it. Disrespect was a spankable offensive and I have not listened to the wishes of my husband. He said that negotiating would not serve me well. I told him that these women were my strength when he was deployed and far away. He said that he was my strength and I would feel that when we went upstairs.
After the spanking, he said it was up to me to learn to think things through and he wanted me to think seriously about the consequences. Turning off my phone was not a good idea and he let me know that.
So what we have here is an extremely consistent husband and a wife who takes her chances living by the way things used to be. I am frustrated and he is holding his own and the paddle. I can't seem to get this right. I think it has a lot to do with deployment separations. Even though that ended several years ago, I still operate independently on occasion. I am frustrated that I keep stumbling here.