Friday, June 21, 2013

"The Talk"

Nervous and unable to look him in the eye, I initially began "The Talk" with us facing one another. Then I asked my hubby if he would sit next to me. As you all did, I talked and talked as he listened. Then he asked questions, and more questions. I told him that this lifestyle would be good for us. Yes, we had a great marriage and had proven to all that we would be married forever. However, when we did argue, I could dig my heels in. I wanted to be right. He really needed to do it my way. He would disagree and we would be at a stalemate. He listened carefully because he knew that this happened in our history.

In the end after many questions, he said yes to creating our own style of DD. Punishment spankings would not be done. I do not do things that require punishments. However spanking for disrespect and continuing arguments beyond reason just to be right would earn spankings. There would be maintenance and good girl spankings. And so we began to chart a new course for our marriage.

That wooden spoon has been used a number of times since the middle of May. I find myself speaking more carefully. I think before I speak and am more respectful. He is firm when spanking and gentle when we are done. He asks if have calmed down and holds me in a protective way.

What is most interesting is what has happened to our marriage. When you have been married a long time, the rocky times are long gone. We have survived oversea deployments and family crisis. We hold hands and genuinely like one another. He knows I wanted this and right away, we both see the benefits.

I am so happy that I have a place to share all this in this accepting community.


  1. It's so interesting to make such a unexpected change to a relationship that is, for lack of a better word, fixed in it's ways; and to see it be such a HUGE benefit to the relationship is really a marvel.

    Like you, my hubby & I got along pretty well and liked each other - but there was still that little something lacking. Bringing spanking into a marriage, whether dd or ttwd, can make a good marriage become an amazing marriage - the relationship is just all the more connected and sweeter.

    I'm so glad for you and that your hubby was receptive to your "talk" (one of the scariest moments ever, right?).

    It's not always easy, though once started no one wants to turn back from dd/ttwd, And yes, this community is such a blessing - we need each other for the support and understanding and close friendships that we make. So glad you are here!


  2. Your words mean a great deal to me as I share my story. Thank you!

  3. Oh the talk. We've all had it and know he hard it can be. I'm glad that you were able to open up to him and add this new dynamic to your relationship. Its exciting to change things up after all that time. Good for you.

  4. Yes, the talk was most difficult indeed, but he listened well and takes care of things almost too well. LOL!

  5. You did much better than me..... I didn't do 'the talk'. I left my ipad open on strategic pages and went to sleep, leaving it on his pillow. We talked about it, mainly led by him though. ;)


  6. As long as we both to the same place, it's a good thing! Right?
    Thank you for your comment.

  7. Meredith,
    You are a wonderful writer, and I am very glad that Cali sent me your way. Welcome to blogland. :)

    Elisa Xo

  8. Thank you for the compliment. Yes, Cali and I are blogging friends.

  9. Are punishment spankings harder versions of what you are getting? You seem to be getting something like reminder spankings, for less than egregious behavior?

    1. Please email me and I will answer you privately. My email address is on the blog site. Looking forward to hearing from you.