Friday, June 21, 2013
Nervous and unable to look him in the eye, I initially began "The Talk" with us facing one another. Then I asked my hubby if he would sit next to me. As you all did, I talked and talked as he listened. Then he asked questions, and more questions. I told him that this lifestyle would be good for us. Yes, we had a great marriage and had proven to all that we would be married forever. However, when we did argue, I could dig my heels in. I wanted to be right. He really needed to do it my way. He would disagree and we would be at a stalemate. He listened carefully because he knew that this happened in our history.
In the end after many questions, he said yes to creating our own style of DD. Punishment spankings would not be done. I do not do things that require punishments. However spanking for disrespect and continuing arguments beyond reason just to be right would earn spankings. There would be maintenance and good girl spankings. And so we began to chart a new course for our marriage.
That wooden spoon has been used a number of times since the middle of May. I find myself speaking more carefully. I think before I speak and am more respectful. He is firm when spanking and gentle when we are done. He asks if have calmed down and holds me in a protective way.
What is most interesting is what has happened to our marriage. When you have been married a long time, the rocky times are long gone. We have survived oversea deployments and family crisis. We hold hands and genuinely like one another. He knows I wanted this and right away, we both see the benefits.
I am so happy that I have a place to share all this in this accepting community.